Imperial Beach Twilight Session

The Right Worldview
 
Have you ever looked around in life and had a hard time finding anything right with the world? How many times in life have you had to stop yourself from whinning or complaining when it did no good. How many situations, people, things, places, events, injustices, crimes, opinions, fashions, tunes, sayings, creeds, prejudices, programs, decisions, changes of all kinds … in your life, just ain’t right? The question nobody seems to be asking is what to do about all this craziness in life. Why do we have such a hard life? Where this, that, and every other thing ain’t right? And then there are those people in your life who seem unfazed by the chaos, content, and unmoved? They’re not right. Some appear to rise above it, engaging passionately in some greater mission which at least generates something that is right in their lives. Thus, we really need to have our own self-correcting worldview of what’s right.

I can no longer ignore or avoid what’s not right in my world. The pile of instances of what’s not right has reached overwhelmingly into the sky and is blocking out the sun. When you cannot go through your day and find something right with it, you are in trouble. I know some people who are on fire with what is not right and they don’t even have a clue because they’re so busy fighting and resisting it. Myself, I am tired of watching people burn, myself included. 
 
The importance of being able to find what’s right with your world is primary. Because the alternative is illness, feeling ill, queasy, sickness. More important than anything else is having positive anticipation, hope, looking forward to your day with a smile and a happy thought. And all that is based on being able to find what’s right with your world. If you can’t do that, you might as well shoot yourself in the head. 
 
So let’s look at the question What *IS* right in your world? I tend to feel good about something if I get its integrity. This is to say, when something presents itself as what it holds itself out to be, then I have the space to be satisfied with it. Today, was a rather windy warm day here in Southern California. A fire erupted up around the Cajon Pass on Interstate 15 and because the fuel was so dry this fire spread with such ferocity and speed that it just ripped across the Interstate putting numerous cars and tractor trailers on fire. The view from the sky, where you could see all kinds of people hiking away from the fire and their vehicles, which now were ablaze. Well, the short of this scene, was there wasn’t anything right about it. 
 
Having your vehicle catch fire and putting you on the side of freeway on foot, that ain’t right. Those people, when they entered the onramp to the freeway had no inkling of what was about to rain fire down upon their heads. Wildfire is nature’s way of cleaning up the trash, the rubbish, the refuse. Accumulate to much of it and a fire will bring it to ash. So, what isn’t right in this scene. We can’t say it’s the fire, because nature is fine. We’ll get nowhere if we start winning and complaining about nature being herself, right? 
 
What we’re dealing with here is a need for systems thinking. The interstate is part of a system which interfaces with nature. This interface was not maintained and so when nature erupted with fire, the interstate became a victim to its destructive force. And, one of the principles in systems thinking is integrity. The integrity of a system is its independence or self-sustaining features, and that it function the way one would expect it to. It’s important to note that there are unanticipated benefits to integrity that could be inspiration for exclaiming that something is right. If using a certain medication treats a condition successfully without negative side effects, one could be motivated to say that drug was right. Another medication made to treat the same condition but having a side effect of having your hair fall out - well, that drug ain’t right, right? 
 
Things that are and do and present themselves the way in which they’re purported or expected to allows for an experience of satisfaction and this in turn expresses a level of being or vibration in us which propagates outward among others.

Letter to the Good Hearted

My concern here is that first you do not appreciate the story you are presenting as truth and your belief in it. When one sees and opens themselves to having a still mind, practicing and developing a clarity regarding it being THE SOURCE of suffering for mankind, this response by you seems disingenous and defensive, an attempt by the ego the reassert its position of dominance/control which in truth is an illusion kept in place by mechanically by our mind and its ignorance.

From this perspective, ALL forms of judgement and dualistic assessment good/bad and the like are useless and extend the ignorance Osho's view dissolves in principle. The issue is whether or not thought controls your sense, and by default, any story regarding the process which is what you are presenting here, is nothing but a form of control. Negative and Positive are merely how the ego escapes responsibility for itself and how it simply has NO ABILITY TO REPRESENT TRUE REALITY.

Then one must ask themselves, is there any value in continuing to pay attention to the veil given the core values of the illusion being all about transcending our suffering and expressing values that represent our harmony there? That's my question to you. I would like you to answer this in all fairness and not cycle another iteration and assertion of your story since it fails to acknowledge anything I've been writing about given my quote from Osho so far.

And giving some slack here in order to accomodate what may simply be your preferred style, understand that I have NOT referred to in anyway how or what is involved in making one's sensation and perception free from the effects of thought as well. Simply given, that state is an accomplishment only the self knows, only the pure wordless expanse of presence remembers. Anything my ego says about it you can be sure is false and a lie. Why? Because the ego can't go there, period.

Everything above appears to be egotistical if simply for the fact that it reports to know what cannot in fact be known only directly sensed in our contact and conscious awareness right now. So, as wonderful and logical and comprehensible as your story goes ... believed and valued it only further pushes a person's true capacity to experience real unconditional love farther away.

My guess is that if not you, someone else reading this is begin confronted by the simple reality that what I'm presenting does not COMPUTE for their ego in the sense that it provides any ground on which their dualistic minds can stand and thus exert itself by thought between reality and the truth which is our self. This is a situation defined by ignorance referred to in Buddhism as the grasping nature of the mind. When we take this as our path in life, paying attention only to what we can and what we cannot grasp, comprehend, understand, etc., we travel misery in karma.

Speaking the truth doesn't change reality however, only one's consciousness can create that possibility. One of these days, I might accidentally come across a procedure or invent the technology to raise that possibility in relation to those who listen to me. I've been horribly deficient and ineffective so far but that has never stopped me from spouting off and addressing this whenever I find someone who is foolish enough to think they know a way to articulate paradise or happiness.

I will eventually point out the flaws of language and its relationship to reality analogous to a menu to food. At some point in one's practice words serve an entirely ancillary role like railroad ties to a train's final destination. You wouldn't place all the ties at the end of the railway would you? The roll of the process is critical for being free and clear of 'ties' other than just those necessary to keep one's movement in the present and optimal.

Namaste,rj

On Foreshadows

This weekend, I underwent a procedure which eliminated an arterial blockage (99.99%)in my heart, next to a branch, saving two arteries as a result. For many months now, I've been attempting to acquire healing from alternative sources motivated by some unknown but felt sense. I attribute that to an inceasing sensitivity and conscious awareness. I never acquired the alternative source of healing and that might be a good thing since it might have prevented me from suffering angina to the extent that I was forced to seek acute medical care. A longer period of time could easily have put me in jeopardy of suffering a heart attack, and given my already weakened heart muscle any additional damage I suffer would put me over the edge of sustainable function.

Alot of negative press has been given to health care here in America, but I do have some wonderful things to say about my doctors. Though I don't have health care due to pre-existing conditions, and my financial situation prevents me from even making payments on the $25,000 hospital bill, they were prepared to intervene and perform the procedure which saved my life, without hesitation. I had to admit myself into Emergency, because in order to have been admitted otherwise would have required a $10,000 deposit. Herein lies the negativity for medical care here in America. We don't go as far as to absolutely deny care, but we won't provide preventative care to people who need it most and are unable to pay, and instead let their symptoms and conditions increase and build until they are about to drop dead before we're willing to help them.

Health care in this country HAS to undergo reform if someone like me is ever provided the motivation to do something more productive in life, given the risk to any income I may produce because of my health status.

On the Subject of Intent

Does it occur to anyone that focusing on either Yin or Yang, Yes or No, even Unconditional Yeses defined by the acceptance of both; all of these states or positions or perspectives set one up against being in the Golden Mean. And by that, I'm speaking about the truth of what is, simply being present AND awake. I caution against the thinking concerning affirmations which do not account for intrinsic value and meaning in a human's life. To me, such flatland thinking shows up like an eagle mingling on the ground with chickens. If one is really interested in the function of intention in our being then surely it has nothing to do with agreeing with popular and/or better, different or greater expressions regarding the human condition, PRECISELY because all of that is reactive, a product of the past, languaged in jargon and cliche, a message just like the writing on the wall. The purpose of real intention is to bring forth here and now from nothing and spirit. The power of intention is in one sense all inclusive ("the great yes?") however that's like saying a car has wheels.

Please forgive my lack of simplicity on the subject, I have a lifelong issue with my highest intention, and have yet to resolve certain aspects of it. The question for me is regarding how often our intentions are expressed incompletely or in a manner not completely conscious. At some level, the truth is that everything we experience including our own being is directly a function of our intention. If intent is real and matters in the flow and creation of being in the world, then it is not related to subjective interpretation, reasonableness, or explanation. This FACT is consistent with what we all know intention to be in our hearts. Our desires are an expression of our being and uncaused, while all thoughts connecting their details to circumstance and whatnot are at best clever fiction. We may tell ourselves that the reason we intend something is because of such and such or x or y, however we are really lying to say this is why we intend what we do. What we do and our story about it or two completely distinct phenomena, one expressing our being, and the other expressing our culture or style of belonging.

When it comes to manifesting intent then, one's results are more of a benefit if we stop denying them with affirmations which disconnect us from being able to language that which needs to be spoken and heard in our conscious awareness. I'm not saying that affirmations like the 'great yes' are missing the point, they speak something which we all need to hear but like a note in a symphony designed to tell the story of our heritage and culture as humanity they are not intentional, and intention is not dependent on them. Intention is dependent on consciousness to function, which begs the question regarding what consciousness is as I digress. The relevant question is how to resolve our intent by being conscious of its shadow realms, where we've forgotten intentions which are now opposed, crosspurposed, or in some other way degrading to our being satisfied and confident, clear and effective, powerful and magnanimous.

Following Artists

Don't have a writer to speak of. Listening to Dave Matthews right now, thinking of JLightner, a roommate, who just flew to see him thousands of miles away, play in New York. Tonight, I had fun watching/listening to comedic stand-up.  Ellen DeGeneres, P. Oneal, Craig F, even Tom Hanks was entertaining on cue with David Letterman.

The real story here remains the international economical crisis. There just doesn't seem to be any end to the limits our plans find pertinent and real. The machine doesn't exist anywhere except in our minds along with varying instructional accounts for its operation. Except here, under democratic rule, such social flaws were supposed to stop. Actually, we only succeeded in shining a light into our bottomless capacity to live the machine when our freedom has been attained.

I'm still thinking about how to channel my anger towards my family situation. So far, I've only succeeded in echoing the dysfunction and lived a series of intimate relationships designed to break my heart and create a feeling of being abandoned. I've got that one down, and I no longer am surprised when this demon raises its ugly head in my world and life anymore.

So it goes...

Along with this media swarm, there is the instinct to choke on all the dirt. Let me just say that without acknowledging my responsibility for the amount of dirt in close proximity to my person as being equal or greater, I would not be honest in speaking about that beyond my reach.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to note a recent observation regarding the value this personal blog actually has for me. There's something empowering about writing one's internal story out when one stays conscious of public access to its read. The focus and the result is completely different than identical literary aims I've had lacking this readership dimension. What is that difference?

In my head the difference has to do with something being read, and my influence over that event. Now with respect, I find this takes work, and I often seem less than competent or skilled in the task, but regardless.

I speak to love and listen for it, and yet my life fails to unfold in any sensible manner or reason. The answers exist but believe me when I say they do not make any difference with respect to the experience of one's being this way. This jumbled and unfocused thing is all I have and all I get, and this knowledge as well was supposed to be of great influence in some transformational context, but biting only resulted in my being hauled out of my flow. What is outside of one's flow is no less as valid and yet being outside the flow it remains foreign and insubstantial to life within the flow.

And, finding myself unable to carry anything else into this entry, I close. Hootie's Blowfish makes timeless into music for me now.

Things are never the way they seem

Eminem article in this weeks Entertainment Weekly reports that his post recovery performance and productivity is characterized by him knowing what he wants and how do go about getting it, and most importantly keeping a focus on what's needed and making it happen. I believe that's an oversimplification and worse a gross misrepresentation, designed and paid for by his managers in a behind the scenes conspiracy with the publication.

Or am I just biased by a skewed point of view regarding my own lack of being relative to that? One can and does know quite a lot about what they want. I think for most, underneath their states of denial and distraction, this much can be said to be true if not readily so. It's the knowledge of how to achieve those objectives and the report of an irresistable approach and effort, without error or failure, which I find a bit ridiculous.

Such statements I believe to be at best gross exaggerations and in truth idealizations which turn on dishonesty when presented otherwise.

What a good plan feels like...

It's amazing how much effort I waste planning because I don't create the appropriate feeling necessary to have a plan succeed. A good plan is one felt with confidence to work. Genuinely felt, ego has no part in this assessment, and such plans that are constructed by ego inevitably fail with the exception of abuses of power. That's another subject however for now, the main idea is a simple test one may verify regarding their plans which has to do with conscious awareness of their level of confidence in its success. Often, such plans arrive in our minds rather than get constructed, at least for  myself. I believe it would be a great evolution of my intellect if I could in fact construct such plans consistently.

This kind of reality check during construction, I'm hoping will help me develop more sensitivity towards planning successfully by choice rather by accident for the time being.

The Eocene Era

The question that comes to mind after watching some new Palentology about this age is this...

Does function follow form or not? Or, does form follow function? From what I'm hearing the functionality which emerged at this period in our history OWES its characters to the level and gestalt of the environment/world which was present, the specific ecological DNA of that moment. Not only is this the primary constraint to evolution as we so far have been able to observe and detect it, nothing really has changed and yet everything has changed. Now, is this because our world changes constantly. The answer to this question is about the essence of time.

Time is a series with no two moments being equal yet referring to a unity, two concepts which are mutually exclusive. And as much as I've left this paradox at bay behind the mysteries of irrational modes of thinking, the damn question deserves a rational door or point of access, don't you think?

Therefore what can we say regrarding the original or even originality itself?

Gut Check to a Shocking Poem

A stunning poem and my comment for the record...

The price to pay...

I sat and watched her as she slept,
Her skin so ghostly white.
I saw as dark'ning shadows crept,
Escaping from the light.

The deathly Angel spread his wings
To take her soul away
As Heaven's choirs plucked gentle strings
In random disarray.

I watched her as her movement ceased;
Her body lay so still
As if the Angel had released
All suffering and ill.

At last I cried, my voice returned,
"Please stop, don't take her now."
The Angel looked, so unconcerned,
With boredom on his brow.

"Kill me," I sighed, "Kill me instead,
And I will take her place."
The Angel said, "But she is dead,
Look down upon her face."

I hoped that with the Saviour's grace
My plea could be allowed.
My tears were wet upon my face,
I pleaded long and loud.

"Her soul is free from sin and pure
But yours is dark and black.
Your words are childish, immature,
Why should I bring her back?"

The Angel's words were straight and true
But still I forced my plea.
Though he refused I tried anew
He must not disagree.

At last he smiled and held my eye;
"Your wish is in my hand;
I have decided to comply
But you must understand;

"Your life is ended as we speak
And she will live once more.
The tears have dried now on your cheek-
So let us count the score.

"You cannot take the vacant place
In Heaven where she'll dwell;
For you are doomed from now to face
Eternity in Hell."

Davidmm fro Poetry 4 Suzanne Blog 3/17/09

Hi David,

Just read your poem. I have to say that I haven't read or watched or attended such a simple and potent dramatic scene that I can remember in such a while, the overwhelming loss, the sacraficial offer, only to be wrecked on the turnabout twist at the end.

While I know this scenario is cliche, you had done such a nice job of recreating it, and in doing so with such a highly valued human sentiment bridging upon the mystical and religious, one never tires of such renditions which elegantly capture the essence of this spiritual drama, at least for me. Which leads me to speculate on your reason for turning this whole drama upside down as you did.

I can't recall any enduring stories in which a man (or woman) negotiates with a higher power to save and in turn sacrafice themselves which led to damnation. Clearly, there are reasons why describing the basic moral good upon which the whole heaven/hell dichotomy as it relates to human life rests.

And yet, reading the comments which came before, nowhere did I find anyone concerned with this basic violation of classic values either? So, then the question is, have I missed some new evolution of human spirit in which your reversal on one of the most basic of human spiritual values makes sense? If no, then I'm back to conjuring a more palatable foundation for this violation, per se. Maybe you can help me here if you feel inclined, for what might be the alternative to what I can only surmise as mischief for the sake of attention grabbing shock produced by such a departure from the norm or cliche?

As a last resort, I would suggest emphasizing or balancing such a orthogonal negation of a classic with an element of mystery, at least, for as every rule was meant to be broken (as such) even the most solidly accepted classics which remain unbroken rules to this day might still find themselves excused in some future evolution of human spirit. And, I think we must all agree to that, IE I don't believe a single individual of faith hasn't imagined how much more influential the good book would be if their beloved almighty weren't dispossesed with a little more reality and conherency and a lot less mystery and dogma.

The real irony of this poem has to do with your eloquent and powerful grasp of the drama revealing a depth of faithful involvement which must have been at least at one time serious, only to see it turned on its head, without any fanfare or blaring horn. Indeed, the poems complete reversal of the classic drama reveals a rare potential complete reversal of the author's past faith.

Yet, why am I so hesitant to raise this intuitive insight up as my conclusion? It's not that I doubt such reversals take place. Perhaps, it is because of all the reversals and their range to which I may attest to have encountered, nare I say can I remember one which didn't include a litany of wreckage associated with the process, including some degree of scarring as well? Should my intuition regarding the source of this work from your pen be near spot on I must exclaim my kudos for how you've left the usual unexpressed, first because I'm sure it was not easy, and second, because the result is infinitely more poetic in its simplicity and elegance.

On the other hand, you might have simply decided to twist this classic on a ruse, being more than faithful perhaps or simply mischevious. Perhaps, you may enlighten me, but regardless, it was certainly worth the read and afterthought, attempting to put the real story in proper perspective and its light of revelation.

Rjd