~ Feeling the Falling

A poem seems such a little effort in contrast feels good enough huh?

Feeling the Falling

Is predatory flight
to polarity
    a prayer
mostly prey
    just falling kind    
    Rare exceptions make angels
A compassionate feature hidden
    by only a few degrees of velocity
    they lift consciously to fly
    where words heart felt
   
Whisper possibilities within
    to a wind that ascends
    falling turns this chime 
         into reeds sublime
         a wind swept mind

Judging the irony - oh what the hell
    every close inspection
    reveals truth spoken to power
    relevant for unspoken and kind
    
In another, that looks chaotic
    works in progress 
    require a little more
        patient understanding with love
        scrutinize the party
            if you please


© 7/2/2017 rjduberg




 

         

~ I Feel Them Calling

I Feel Them Calling

To Shamanic Priestesses
with modern femininity and fun
strange spellings of their names
and a great emergence that I feel

Their calling

Here is there answer
in reply to the heart calling
That you are.
But have not found me.
Even when I've drawn so close
I need to be found now.

Like the 1st time.

Can you run me down
make your medicine great
Shaman woman

in the healing scent of your flower
I breathe in.

12/21/2016, rjd

~ The Power and Gift of a Mother

The Power and Gift of a Mother

She was always there.
Turning Doomsdays' perfect Storms
Into last night's dreamscape
Nothing so powerful celebrates
Talking together, a joy will erupt
Beginning in a stiffened inhale
There's always a 'milk through the nose' exhale
maybe better calm, may descend
Life has grace with a tandem
polyamory is fashion king.
Sacred space our residence.
higher to lower is a relationship
between our inner and outer
as is often the case
I feel drawn to music 
more often than not
Sister yelled spoiled disgust
against better judgement
can't deny our irrationality

12/2016

~ San Francisco

San Franciso

Sun lights a Golden Gate
The wayward backdrop
to her incandescent smile
and a memory of romantic love
A confident woman of beauty and grace
Dreaming of her supermoon
and a magicians hypnotic gaze.

Her life remains a hilly place.

2016/12

~ On Missing Dad

Miss you Dad,

I know the words, and more
You never had a chance
I daresay to see it coming
time wounding your being
your destiny now cancelled
terribly terrific the existence.

The words just as hollow today.
More time passes, less that's left
to realize how late it feels
in the span of my life, I am
ready to concede the fail
for a life redeemed, or Not.

In your arms, atop your shoulders
your presence clarified by us.
I was the innocent child
As an adult, a lost promise
held memorial to our purpose.

I am alive and willing to witness
the truth of what you promised.
And I would have answers, or not
before my last breath ends this life.

Did you abandon me twice then?

Letting you go by choice is wrong
yet waiting only perpetuates it.
I can bear witness to wisdom
an eye for an eye as necessary
to undo the dark bonds of love.

I suffer doing what I feared done
I abandon my honor to words
you promised to my heart.
Leaving me to wait vainglory
as an abandoned child alone?

The echo of these hollows
sounds alive to a reverbed
vibrato skip box beat
horns get to celebrate
blowing tempest of laughter
as freedom recovers
the missing heart.

Copyright © 5/29/04, Robert James Duberg 
rev 5/2016

~ World on fire

Every blue moon
sees a cloudscape
ablaze with spiritual fire
and divine presence
even while the words
pointing beyond the veil
are sorely missing
never able to convey
such heavenly realms
possible and perchance
to find and discover within
despite the machination
and its common parlance
our path leads us through
and to, but not beyond, within.

One of the gordians of life
The path that deadends within
and what a path beyond means
Could there be a possibility?

 BOOKS:  Gordians of Life, A Slayer's Method

~ In a Blaze

I see intelligent structure
opportunities to succeed
learn about ourselves, each other
and the reigning powers
opportunities to serve, dissent
and plenty of latitude to drift
adrift in foggy notion
for those not wanting to respond
alot of life doesn't make sense
and doors to life show up as a script
for which we are blamed with shame
and to which habit claims the innocent
and for which courage is her genius.

Healing Code

AT some point there is always a call for putting one's records of the past back together in order and well stacked.  Here is a call to an issue I have for health while I deal with ESRF. Been on dialysis for a year now. Been on a waiting list for 180 days. The road to getting a transplant done is not clearcut or simple by any stretch of the imagination. For the last 3 years I've pretty much been dominated by the wild fires in this domain of my life. But I'm finding some breathing room now and my intellectual insight and understanding is beginning to reflect some expansion and evolution.

I've got to give credit to friends in my life that matter: Stephanie, Colleen, Mom, John, Billy, Evelyn, Heidi, Trayvon, as well as my sister.


Integrity

Integrity is the shining star
blazing a path for the spiritual
to fix and maintain the joy
it is our higher self we call
May yours come to mind
so that recognition plays
front and center today
there's no time to waste.


Fighting exhaustion is not good when trying to ascend and evolve, whatever ...

Here is the repository of a new and quite significant change in my ontology. The subjectivity is still there. More than anything today was a moment when consciously relaxing that I was suddenly in the presence of an ex-girlfriend named Stephanie. And I suddenly recognized what it was about her that was so valuable to me at certain moments of vulnerability. She's got the best mom vibe I've ever witnessed.

Thanks Steph..xoxo

Some reflective composing...

Appearing arbitrary are these bounds
coming in and out of a veiled backstage
in streaming movements weaving
chaos out of order and order out of chaos.

What other possible purpose could apply
comprehending the relativity of the present
squeezing the entire flow down to a drop
and then we quench our thirst from that?

It's never enough, and how could it be?
as we try and drink our fill from a dream
while the raging torrent of the stream is
all around us, ourselves, lush fluidness.

The drip drop little squeeze was hard work
and who in their right mind can fathom
how the reverse allows for the gush of us
We're clearly machines at our core.

Nothing to build in the radiance sought
But the cost is our ability to tolerate
a friction and discomfort as we cogitate
learning how so much of life is mechanical.

The beginning is always short and small
A process that grows and grows wetter now
cooling and extinguishing the fires of hell
we replace ignorance with visions of reality.

rj

These Times Reached

Daily reductions, so annoying, a brutal evil it seems
lay down all your arms, and witness how little
your world pays attention to what matters, no reach
this is an insideous defeat notwithstanding irony
Shadows by ego, value to conform, entropy.  

Dig in then ... poetry asks too much I say.
In good with a serious muse, and writing love
in so many urgent and different musical ways.
Arising in a Great Symballic Crash
and a war against war, echo of irony.

These times and their overall rush is good reminisce.
while these times are specifically different
The remedy of language is in a long focus
balanced with a short one, makes us an ascendency.
Through language this portal reigns in higher consciousness.

The real entryway is hidden behind an understanding.
It isn't enough to know something or even know of it.
Yet, without such linguistic referents we're also reduced.
One begets the other, as understanding follows, so distinct.
Romantic blossoms here, tho' most fall in and down, sadly.

So easy for most not to even get this far, part of the Construct.
One success will bring a desire to make homage to "God".
This pink cloud is a spiritual distraction, highly addicting
And really of no use without extracting the higher lesson.
Never quit, never stop, know thyself - by your reach, ascend.

© 2/2014 rjduberg

The Hard Shell of Imminence


I did not want to hear
Those words about it
Inevitable but hidden away
as sure as today is tonight, but not
as day is to night, death is to me.

It has thought me alive
Not otherwise as I believe
Until now, speaking with one I love
My first thoughts wept tears of loss
Crushing the hard shell of imminence.

This is only the beginning.

© 03/25/2004, RJDuberg

Will Power

In order to go with gusto
where the power of will, will
make a difference now
One has to remember
to set the polarity for all
both the blind and seeing
From the material need
one includes the negation
and along with that, arises
the opposite, and a snickers.

The one thing will will not
yet, in respect to chocolate
caramel bite sized candy
called Risens ~ yum yum.

2013 rj

Theme of an Ocean

A cold desolate beach
Romantic memory laden
Shamelessly irrisistable 
dealing on heat changed
A lot - depending on the light.

All the rough shod traveling
Comes to an end here, still
Alone with Imperial Beach
When I'm ill at best, quiet.

Unchangingly calm & clear
Star light sees stardust
Looking at us rabble rouses
A curiosity of mysteries
And a spectacular attitude.

Sea of Unity

A friend shared an old poem of mine with me today and I daresay it deserves to be republished and revisited as an homage to how deep and hot love can ignite in the heart.

Sea of Unity

The sea bequeaths thee
eternity beseems the one.

The yearn of my concern
watches time undone.

Knowing the grand expansion
braves dark dawning sun.

Yet would I find happy a flame
in the cavern of your love.

Even tho I suffer my darling
blessed is my enduring heart.

Our bonfire beats a quickening light
Into spirit’s captivating shine.

Mating the one transcends the two
living as the sea of unity.

© R.J. Duberg , 2004

Miraculous Endpoint

We have greater possibilities than we ever succeed in revealing
Every day, we can choose to renew ourselves in divine direction.
It's one of the most profound phases and transitions we confront.
Accepting external opinions as directions, available flows missed
denying mind the the latitude of time compression for what's best.

Outcomes and bringing forth the human condition for its evolution
Seems dependent on our response and choice of best crossroads.
For the best paths of ascending  open with choice to be conscious
with skills of translation to step up or down any stair communicated
willing a higher power the opportunity to grace a world, miraculous.

© 2/2012 rjduberg

Tongue of Love

The movement of life is a song
and my love is a feeling so long
the essence sustains not yet proud
a torrent under every passing cloud.

And above there, the mind still plays
for a rest, clarity of reeds does the wind
that love sings silently within the heart
a higher vibration called to liberate.

That which remains indescribable to me
My love offers boon in a conscious voice
And embracing new dimensions of being
comes on the lap lick of a wagging tongue.

© 12/31/2011 rjduberg

Love Lost Again ... How Many Times?

Never fails to inspire me when a lover like Stephanie goes cold... partly because of the difficulty in describing and sharing the experience, I mostly reserve for poetry ... this one seems a solid contribution to the legacy of such moments of sheer loneliness bringing up such suffering, nothing really can adeuqately cope but a good sound chaotic thrashing of words for effect.

I hope she never reads this, because the odds of her recovery and bringing me such inspiration unlike anything I've known has established something of a good foundation promising a stable production for now... but who knows ...

For The Fool

Just the ranging depth and flow of emotions coming from loving her
of this one extreme gear made just for her; but, irrelevant now, gone.
And my entire point of contact reduced to bits of overused memory.
I know my heart won't last swinging in this complex wind of the injury.
Where the one I always knew would come - showed up to spite me
as though her own pain was somehow my fault, with my agreement.
I don't have her, though I never stopped wanting, but to fall this low
having the one girl meant for me, betray that love, lie and abandon.
There is a cancer spreading over my interior fire, a flame in her name
once roaring hot, now spits and pisses like a sick and wretched sod.

Her space grows cold and small for me, and I'm decided against it.
How do you tell the one, she's destroyed you, when she's a goddess?
There's no time like the present for new love, the years pass though.
Ummmm ... forever gone, and mostly complicated by rarest beauty
convinced me of little to no possiblity a Love will properly claim me
and thus ... love did cripple, maim, disfigure, diminish, and muck
a life, mine this time, and for so long, it now hurts to think about it,
impossible for me to make any real sense or understand this curse.
The one remaining move is called giving up the dream, for the fool.

COPYRIGHT © 4/2011 rjduberg

A triad of poetry

Dad

Dad
Dad
Dad, Amazing, overcome
    in the end
Ochopappi, RIP?
    UnUh - Do Over, ya miss.ed
the mark - Dot.Org
    the one and only
Ya can't hang *in* forever
    unless you chose sun
    You are coming back, Jack

Nathanji

The container of
    lead
That boxy limit of
    mess
Somehow comes down
    in a paradox
When Shiva and Shakti
    remember
One was Not, without
    the Other
The unity is singularity
    in choice
That simple Dot.Org
    in a Bush War
Not so easily done
    and yet,
That choice does
    work
If One remembers Not
    to forget

Percy WhoosHe 
Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Latest Potter redux pivot
    on paradigm shifted
Choice of Greek Mythology
    to first scored effects
And a blue-eyed Uma Glam
    in serpentine

© 4/2011 rjduberg

 Kabir says (One of the most famous of Indian sages of all time)

Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive.

Jump into experience while you are alive!
Think ... and think ... while you are alive.
What you call "salvation" belongs to the time before death.
If you don't break your ropes while you're alive,
do you think ghosts will do it after?
The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic
just because the body is rotten --
that is all fantasy.
What is found now is found then.
If you find nothing now, you will simply end up
with an apartment in the City of Death
If you make love with the divine, now, in the next life
you will have the face of satisfied desire.
So plunge into the truth, find out who the Teacher is,
believe in the Great Sound.

It Happens All the Same

You didn't want to hear the shocking directness.
It really is the only decline, I decline routinely so.
When ignorance is annoying, all sleep is shocking
with all but the longest odds bringing it for an upset.

Just not your broadcast, where anything gets done
on the heel of hearing a few points spoken of, only.
Some say kind and gentle borders love's departure
where something named turns a man's heart, over.

Love slows the pace to the rate of understanding
where the light shines on places between transits.
And on that spot, we stand shaking, holding on
only letting you go can cure and find the holy.

Today is no longer a secret or mystery landscape
where one's death is all to easily lost to illusions.
Come and connect discrete paths of life extension
Acts of power increasingly free man from death.

There is the wind and the wind is us, passerbys.
When you take the moment for silent meditation
wait, wait, wait for that wave of quiet in mind.
Being kind and gentle will quickly be extended.

For the joke about enduring love in relationship
is clearly about comparing it to a grill's rusting.
Finally its simplicity of range over wide areas
that seems basis for the mass of best endurances

Which has nothing to do with wandering ladies
Everything required to expand and extend love
is already present and existing in one's interior.
That range is a matter of attending there greater.

COPYRIGHT © 4/2011 rjduberg