The Tantric Mongoose

Women need clarification, according to Shantam Nityama (Mongoose), from men. This requires men to be in touch with the streets and to complete their relationship with mom. This means loving one's own energy without compromise, not dumbing down, or invalidating. ... 
I like this teacher's focus and his protege SashaCobra as well.

Electricity (positive-male) needs to be balanced with magnetic (negative). Male and Female is just another way of representing this.

We know fogs

We know fog's about color inhibition
the damp vapor is a din to light
black and white gradient unfolds
without muse, mystery, or wonder
just the oscillating echo of a past
along with random waves of time.

You'll find it often at ocean's foot.

8/2010, rjduberg


to recognize force, being plays

switching channels on the fly
until letting it all hang out says

this moment, this day, pays...

with a glow that sweats love
and this gift of paradox slays
what once thought itself Self
for consciousness of the real

and stumble mumbles asking
what is the force of the force
I live?

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

Laughter Dancing

Dancing this morn more bursty than flowing
Coital pop, flaming hot, grinds peak and stop
So quick, so loud, so deep, so wild the flame
I cannot speak of it, nothing remains of it
Except for my breath that smokes and smells

To witness in another unseen moving power
continues to escape unmindful attention
confuse those working with sincere aplomb
while being celebrated by the rhapsodial
also known as the dancing madmen of old

enlightened mind at rest, laughter dances.

© 6/2010 rjduberg

Fragmentation a Syndrome of Sleep and a Bitch

I'm counting on most not reading beyond the title of this entry post. The real story is that in men I don't find fragmentation the same way I do in Women who bitch. Men are more apt to whine or quite often resistance across the board makes the whole of them asses. The problem is just as much an issue with women but not spoken about with as much tolerance. Women don't tolerate other women or themselves speaking about fragmented women going over the top when it comes to behaving decently.

Their negativity exists in their having killed the segue in their intellect.

Non-fragmentation can mimic this condition when the woman is anti-partriarchal (every woman by default who never experienced one positive male role model growing up in life ). This leaves lacking precisely that kind of function in her being which men are gravitational at intellect. Beginning with the simple make wrong act or role in the simplest mind and ending with literary masterpieces transcending whatever genre they manifested evolution in. With the grey inbetween filled with intellect of such color along the gradient going from black and white through (infinity -1) colors.

Understanding how math relates to language for instance is a question of intellect which would never be found fragmented, assinine, asleep, bitchy, unkind, or otherwise insensitive. Actually stepping it up a level to transrational thinking, in observing how Math grew out of being an thus it's dialect might be called Being.

In the flip side of this, using words for their mathematical principles and relevant structure objectified in symbols. But words, can represent infinity in a way perhaps only a shadow at this point but something which mathematical computation breaks down when articulating the relation. The equals sign means relation however infinity = nothing in classical math which quantifies. In order to fully understand how language can communicate to a mind still ignorant that dimension of experience that relates to infinity, the shadow of words ie math, must be placed at the floor, b&W and fragmented. This involves our being as I've already suggested, when I made gender an issue for distinction. In our being, ignorance is controversial, the main issue for those a step up from being complete asleep, that rise in consciousness reflects in parallel and encompassing one's being. Leaping ahead to the point then ...

Almost a ceiling, which itself remains objective consciousness for me, being able to link parallel perspectives on present circumstances is a question I was in earlier tonight, before the pressure of corresponding became dominant.

My insights tonight were inspired by the recognition that placing spirituality before and above anything else dimensionally to one's being, removes all attachments and connections to the floor. Once one frees oneself from anykind of static relationship to themselves, one is able to know their spiritual possibilities and start actualizing their potential. One is not free however to respond to freedom by increasing one's ego.

Today, I observed myself chasing self satisfaction and saw the ego for what it was. Dreadfully seductive and the site of expectation. Such is the nature of all expectations, that they are really just one of a number of pillars holding up the ideal which was the seed of our indiviuality and the extent of our belief in it. While this could be called the Psychological dimension of our being, distinct from Spiritual, there is a fundamental principle regarding decency of behavior which correlates in the Spiritual. It is a pillar because it is much more than this or that but achieves appropriateness in relationship to present circumstances and conditions. These words all have a dynamic operational bias and that bias is relative with the balance between almost all static and all dynamic makes sense when one integrates physical correlates.

At any rate...the question right now is whether or not enlightenment which is universal and absolute can be articulated without the disclaimer regarding words having significant relativity yet in our being to succeed in that articulation?

Dust Up

This morning found me slopping out a Dust Up, or at least that's what I call a list of a principle remix of my personal illumination, something like a rolling integral status check (from a sometime somewhat, to this right now) ...

Question of Effort (A daily renewal)
This is a call to the heart of the heart of life itself and making today successful for being fully lived, consciously evolving.
Call of Creation (Muses)
Attention needed and maintained for Creativity as an Evocative Response. Ask and ye shall receive. Be careful of what you ask for.
Music of the Spheres (Interactive Harmony)
The attention needed to allow mechanism (of self) optimum evolutionary capacity, expressed through a musical quality that is a harmonic rifting of spheres.
Rim Dancing (Celebrating a Good Wash)
Unless the systemic mechanism is not CLEANED in goodness of emptiness, itself a simple but exact routine, potential liberation will not manifest. To this end we MetaRecurse the process by having fun, removing negativity from action of cleaning that results in more PROPER routine separations of byproduct from our energetic transformations. Thus, sitting on a throne, evolves; with the Crown dancing on the Rim (of the cosmic toilet bowl! Pow)
Kissing Insight (Social Values of Spirit)
Something higher graces every moment, is present, and is the bliss of self remembering
Translating (Understanding Whispers in the Wind)
Unawakened consciousness expresses a overflowing teacup of piss, start to finish. Intuition or awakened consciousness expressing divine truth is same process only shifted with the source being an emptiness from which the unmanifest unfolds its diversity with higher consciousness voicing its unity.
Vision (Destiny's Rep)
Unfolding personally, this is a physical marker, some make into a crest. And then later, as the ego is replaced with higher service, this banner may include associated icons which are emblematic for each group vision one embraces in life
Relativity (Cosmological Order, Priority, Higher vs Lower)
As the captain of your soul, the quality of your ship's crew involves an economy of their efforts in exchange for progress on the open sea and their quality of life or health maintained and praise for their sacrafice. We come together in order to share a higher possibility of being otherwise any old ramjet with half a tank would do. Thus, what is relative retains our capacity for reverence and the priviledge this is. Once lost, the door is open for misery, and she will walk in before you notice it is now too late. The confident have faith that at every moment regardless of illusionary karmic vicissitude there exists a higher choice we can activate evolution with, sometimes layered with a shell of detached non-identification, called this too shall pass, with dynamic stillness allowing relativity to be viewed directly.
Question of Expansion (Vertical Movement)
Kundalini Yoga suffices to answer. I once caught a beautiful moment of this Vision with my camera, in the sky above as a lone contrail in an otherwise empty blue sky which had transformed figuratively into two serpents facing each other uncoiled. Really, this is bringing your future unfoldment into the timeless presence of your divine now consciously recognizing the process. One cannot avoid the shock of each cycle, often less a giggle for the bite. Simplified, it is a question of letting go, releasing one's grasp, eventually releasing all fear, keeping one's attention here active and the process high in priority for how it relates to vision, and I pray our liberation.
History(Teaching of Stops)
Unconsciously or not, descending or not, life is a movement from here to there, with certain exceptions in which as I so fondly love to quote someone who remains like gravity for me about this, "...you can't get there from here." How, why, where, and when does this happen? Integrating this lesson is to complete the Transcendental in this life of perpetuity.

Epilogue
This is a dust up of the timeless expression in my attention today. Is this too much to ask you to understand or otherwise desire too? I recognize there is unavoidable resistance of this nature and I appreciate it though I challenge this by inviting you to let me exchange (this) mine for yours. That's how we like to roll in a rift of poetic slamming anyway. Are you game?

For Understanding

Over the last 13 years since brushing death with congestive heart failure, I have consciously turned to poetry as a therapy when my broken heart sorrow was too much to bare. My muse has been such a divine gift, you don't find at the corner market, and nothing in the world has anything to say either. The gift is received within and desires to inspire an ultimate action. This action is blessed by the muse for understanding what needs your attention regardless. The choice to act is not an issue to muse but rather a constant call one's muse steps in like some overseas long distance operator. And, while I can describe specific effects that happen to quicken my vibration and spontaneous connections relevant and energizing as the muse moves within, I'm finally coming to a place of calm in which my attention is turning even further beyond what muses understand. There's really only gratitude for what grace and blessing I have already been given in this sense as I feel nothing but happiness knowing my muse stands here ready to evolve as well.

My muse has made me so giddy and kinetic, I often feel unequal to her charm and power. And as my own path evolves beyond self expression into self remembering, I am not too sure how to say the love I feel for what has given me so much insight throughout my life, because that love is aboslute and nothing spoken or known can express what it means that forever means more than ever will ever be and after. What I feel for now might help is just a little attention kept on a tune, a song sung about how beautiful a muse is - a call to higher calling.

~ The Blind Word

One morn I rose and looked upon the world,
"Have I been blind until this hour" I said.

Announced, declared, original copies presume
to a repetitious brew, aligned with flow so special
every rhetorical, historical, relevance queues culture
of an ordered feeling of confidence in knowledge.

As language recombines subjective memories,
the calculus strips the juice leaving mass illusion.
Does anyone know who to blame for this loss
where being awake is unoriginal, so mediocre?

Kung Fu Panda knew a blank scroll for his due
It was your authority of assumption to mention
that made Dragon Warrior a manifest illusion.
Still Panda original, our hearts retained delight

Forwhatis eternally original?

Mistaken Panda's secret lesson in hour, profound
feigned in poetic tribune, achieved in your muse
that little colorful swirl in the flow, fluidly balanced
made a drop of word burn, unblinding presence.

© 7/2010 rjduberg

...Taste the Divine

5...Taste the Divine

Once you separate enough to choose the wine
with the knowledge you earned, in the grind. Learn
depths, escape traps, feed the kind, love, the pain...
Invent yourself, the sublime, the surreal, synchronize.
Remember everything radiates a consuming flame.
Seek eternity within, enter, have courage, a heart.
If we never meet in person, keep trying - love.

When Irishmen Play Golf...

In 2010, G McDowell, won the USOPEN at Pebble Beach. It was amazing to watch. Imagine the joy at seeing your very small community's champion dominate the world, in a match where nature gets the leading role?

It was enough of a charge, that the usual drama I hear during the day from others lost its footing and place, and mattered least of all. Not too say there wasn't a lot of shouting about it, but that's the beauty of writing, not that I and advocate text, but since texting for decades already, I know when and when not to is how to roll.

The point of vibrational evolutionary acuity has got the stage.

Jivana finally delivered a rough draft of her narrative, and now as if the drama couldn't have gotten any bigger watching the USOPEN, I have a formal crit against my drama...and I'm supposed to do what?        haha  ... having fun in the sand in Imperial Beach and now I'm smarmy somehow ... hmmmm?

I guess I just have too much fun for some. And for the rest, I'm sorry if I come across outraged, mad, odd or what...

... In Blinks

4 So much matters,
the clogs of life, hike a homey
his cost for high, astronautic
no comps on this level
his walk up starts
before sunrise
make a Jesus
in blinks.

copyright © 6/2010 rjduberg

... Ignorance Unground

3 So much matters, life clogs a homey's high here
no focus and our intellectual reasons collapse
focus of flatland, I say; to the fellows of the hordes
prepare n pay for cliff notes, all the time, or fail
while i disappear behind a veil you think is noise
even as many play this longfast i know, unseen
when you remember yourself totally new, a state
where everything plays a part with parts
rhetoricizing, at least twice, or more
time stops in play of quantum classic
Intellect of scale is only access
to all probability...

Conserving one's energy in reverse induction
and essence of notion is that time is countable
in the same way diversity, ultimately manifests.
Without being able to understand man misses
integrity of his relativity to the purpose unseen.

Ways and means we find, in time, not within
Calculus moves mind to infinity and eternity
maybe exists, perhaps, mistakes made here?
Most mistakes happen in parallel, to alertness
It is no mistake that the less you listen a ...
Having fun depends on knowing cosmos
and being a sun doesn't limit evolution,
unlike suggestion intellect retards, witcha
though oblivious will NOT believe, logic
saves time, including all possibility, cognition
simplified, no conflict, conscious ma(r)king
not desire alone, does ignorance ungrind.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

Note: Can you imagine a real goddess and being unable to live your life? Funny how it happens all the time, badly acted, in dreams, people act this way and are NOT awake while some get phase to awake ... punk called 911, said The future blightest, gonna kill myself, of open insanity" 911 asks what band? The Doors, said the punk. She will speak about the Work, and wait, after sending you on your way.

... Live As King

2 Can she continue with the world on her shoulders
and remember me, our sweet embrace, ecstasy?
Would I be patient, was her reply, then long time
became a way of life, a freight train running wild.
Here in the quiet within the sphere, drawn sublime
where I wait, blessing stillness for her, I live as(king.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

... A Taste Divine

1  I chose to sleep in this morning, but upon arising found your reply.
And upon reading it with noon's dry heat in a full dense harangue
Begun, a day like this, yet did I find some wet do from this rhyme -
Still droplets holding on to a sphere wherein their essence shines.
A deeper reflection than even they know or witness through time
    now may the do wet the consciousness from which it sprang
    condensing on this mind like encrusted jewels, come to remind.
For this, I bow, and give thanks for the grace, with a taste divine.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010, rjduberg

~ Fragments Dropped in Rain

In the end, there is only one need you see
value separated from trash, Self Remember
while death courts you by your crash cart
know it will be impossible for most to pass
It remains the biggest stumble how few listen
relative truth changes only to finish one's little...

© 6/2010, rjduberg

~Jobbing After Hours

Oh I look, inward, to shore
to remind the mind its time
my threats turn in a score
for the light, not the darkness
stuck in illusion I think real
afraid, I may wish to escape
but remain confined in lies.

It's right here, I sleep the most.
The dream matters all the less
if dreaming keeps us distracted
with a space made for comfort
where belief is not questioned.

I've sat long and want to feel
beyond all issues of integrity
what actually makes a source
- a balance never understood
or the fundamentals to begin
multi-dimensional streaming.

Think of conscience finally
As our special capacity to be
with the totality of our being
fragments scattered to the wind
with our work aim set to unify.
Finding we are not that, not this.

In that wide and deep, emptiness
continues the chance for answers
where nothing ever has the buzz
I'm looking beyond horizons for
I just swear by profit that's fair
so I can sup in stillness and care.

© 6/2010, rjduberg

Making the Separation

I'm finding ways to seize my awareness on separate parts of my being. The secret to it seems to be developing at least one neutral ongoing higher aim which can somehow be kept active collecting portals to fashion up the lack of integrity with the innocence of starting anew in the question over being confused on how.

I am bubbling over with disappointment over being unable to empower a response by my muse to write some poetry with new purpose. It's all about revealing quiet within subtly, and I'm not even in the ball park yet I don't think.

Word of Lord Pentland

Inwardly as I follow the questions and look for answers, there is a new alignment possible. That's always been my experience. Man, woman, and child all suffer from this essential condition in the beginning, where one's being unified is a lie and false, and illusion of our own design to hide.

I am slowly resurrecting some positive feeling for the work of the fourth way and it must be said undoubtedly Lord Pentland is the fault.

The biggest shift in understanding I have gone through recently now has to do with Self-Remembering being quite misunderstood in general, I am definitely developing a 'taste' for. The second issue which is entirely new for me has to do with my appreciation and insight into the essence of my attention. So many, fragments remain in my daily flow and beyond. Anytime, like just now when I completely lost hold of the thread of my higher consciousness while awakening, falling to sleep ... I've spent many years getting used to this idea, being open and humble in relation to it, letting go of my inhibitions regarding lustfulness.

My insights today regarding understanding being higher when expressed in the negation within the dichotomy. Thus, being aware of your lack of understanding is actually a higher form of understanding because of its transformational power fo completing the polarized circuit for its integrity.

The work now emerges as intentionally remembering myself to first and above all BALANCE the higher subtle and vital energies of my being on which I depend on my sanity.

In closing this entry, I will be refocusing my attention on poetry of at "the cage-unhitched" and I've got the next two days to quietly explore things further, thank you universe, for that!

Sending my love to Stephanie as well

Sweetheart... You bring such tears to my eyes. Today has been something of a little miracle insofar as I’m actually semi awake I guess. I’ve been down for so very long. Trying to catch up and you’re on this list and all I can do is sit here and cry. Do you know why? LOL ... They’re good, joyful tears of the best kind, but very, very wet, LOL.

The issue is romance, the subject women, the situation hopeless, ROFL. Back in the day there was you for a moment, wow. You continue to reign as one of most incredibly divine women I’ve ever been in contact heart to heart in my life. You are one of a very very very small number that I trust. And, that’s what these tears are about I guess. So smart, and so thoroughly female are you, unlike any I’ve ever known.

Like I said, today is like the first day in months I’ve had enough energy to even stay focused and awake. I hope you don’t mind my spending a few moments blubbering all over you like this, but be grateful for the sanitation of electronic communication or you would find yourself in this puddle I’m in, lol. Your advise to let it go, LOL, sometimes I forget how young you are, though your wisdom is ageless, time has done her best to restore you with some chance of success after all the loss. Which is just the way it should be as I see it because you were blessed to begin with. The rest of us are a little less karmically transparent.

See how I struggle even with the simplest and wisest of all sayings? Let it be? Are you nuts? LOL – True enough though, I think part of the reason I’m awake and quasi functional today has to do with doing exactly that, or at least focusing on other issues worth paying attention to in order not to let others suffer because of my negligence. So, thank you for reminding me of what I have been unable to accomplish most of my adult life LOL. I would expect nothing less than your beautiful and insightful honesty.

I love you Stephie. You’re one of the good guys! Actually, no, you are really a queen of divine feminine grace and beauty!  Sorry, LOL, mustn’t skimp on the props you deserve with respect.

More later of course, you can always check up on my squallor by visiting my blog called Evolution’s Ghost if you want. I’m going to put this up there right now for the record, to prove there were a couple of days in my life when I actually felt the pain of life lived and loved.

Love,
Robert

Saving a Love Letter to a Friend

A hunh ... Tingly nice! <vbs>

You are such a peach! Yeah, if I wasn’t such a loser ...

Listening to Snatam Kaur right now and trying to catch up on what... Probably at least several months of being down. But I do recall how back in the day, you were a blazing light.

All I can do is study and search for answers, still ... Nothing holds any interest for me as long as my issues romantically are not resolved. That’s going all the way back to when I was 18 and got dumped by my first true love. My entire life has been about recovering from that.

Fuck, there are so many lost people in the world. Just unconscious, with their fingers on the trigger or button, inadvertantly blowing things away that often have real potential for ascending spirit. And then, there are a few whose intelligence has shielded them from the hell of perpdom, whose fragrance is sublime and whose being drips kindness just like the best of any ripe peach you’ve ever or never had.

You love these people, you would give them the world, I’ve tried. One day maybe when I’m over myself LOL, love will reign again?  But whatever happens, there’s a spot reserved on my list of wonders and miracles experienced in this lifetime, for you (and your photographic charms <vbs>). You will always be remembered Suzie, in my heart, I celebrate you even now.

Xox,rj

Big White Bird and a Black Raven

Yesterday, upon arriving home from the golf course where I work, a black raven seemed to be conversing at me, hopping along the tops of of the buildings along the path I walk from my car to my residence. At the time, I thought it had to do with the parcel I was carrying and the black birds hunger. When I got inside I unpacked my fruity feast and didn't register that this time I had packed black napkins instead of the usual white. I remember noting the color in the bar and thinking that someone dropped the ball placing them out. Today, saw a very ominous turn of events with the complete disappearance of Big Bird. I call him that because he's probably the largest white goose in the flock which hangs around the ponds at the golf course. He is also the loudest, most obnoxious, and in a very strange way most consciously intelligent goose I've ever met. On many days in the last couple of months, he's literally hounded me throughout my day acting in ways fully contradictive to good common goose sense, persisting in his squawking and butting his beak where it could so easily be damaged if I wasn't paying close attention to his welfare. Big Bird has a posse of several more geese and a couple of ducks which accompany him as a group making this group a two set group, Big Bird and the posse. They don't travel together but they are never far away from each other.

Big Bird has a sponsor at the golf course, one of the old geezers, and quite the king of obnoxiousness himself. I think Ray actually feels a rare affinity for the Big Bird's raucous behavior because it so closely characterizes his own nonending squawking quips which are pretensious and boisterous attempts at making put downs of the worst negative kind of sarcasm you might hopefully never encounter. Once you see through the surface layer of his personality however, the game is on to see how hard you can piss on his game while he seems all to content to simply keep a steady salvo for you (me) to deal with.

Given my understanding of Ray and the harmonies involved it doesn't surprise me that Big Bird desired more intimate contact with me. Who knows how to speak Geese or goose or geek even? With the volume of utterings coming from the Big Bird though you'd think he was organizing a plan to take over the whole fowl kingdom right here in Chula Vista's Municipal Golf Course.

While I was at work today, another one of Big Bird's biggest allies, an Ambassador named Jimmie, stopped me and informed me Big Bird was MIA. As we ruminated over the possibilities the day took on a rather forlorn hue as well. On the way home, I continued to think about Big Bird. Then, as I stopped my car at my residence near the water in Imperial Beach, I remembered the signs from the day before. Could it be?

The symbology caught my breath at that moment, and hours later, continues to try well enough to keep me hovering in a zone of pre-sadness. Thankfully, I have a couple of co-workers who have cultivated something of an unbending optimism in situations like this who I managed to draw into the conversation before I left. Their consensus is that he will pop up very soon FOR SURE! For now I am doing my best simply to remember their POV and be patient at least for today, and take tomorrow when she comes.