~Sagacious Orator

The speaker's stage set
upon the cue
the veiled consciousness
freed of itself.

The intent to oration
is a bizarre contraction
forever the sound confuses
ignorance, revealing a void.

And he spoke a line, meant
to connect a relative scale.
He spoke not for love, now
in service to please, all Being.

He was fond, and yet, loved
though others found him mad.
Those who were silent nearby
began to realize themselves.

Stunning Mystery of Life

How wonderfully impossible to describe is the actuality of this PLACE we call Earth where we live in my waking thought and awareness tonight. Whisper, shhhhh, for here she is right here, and that perfume makes me cry. No lover, no girl, no goddess I've ever laid eyes on matches the immensity of beauty and love which lives directly under my feet and unlike stories of creators, my true gratitude rests and is for her, this place in the cosmos for which my life, what there is left of it, has always been unable to fathom even as it pervades every pore and dimension of my being.

~sanguine sang the words i love you

Everybody wants to hear
the sound that loves them
music for one, transcends
when the heart enjoys
resonation  deep in -
A medallion of calm
turns chaos to contrast
the celebration of life.

Nov 2010

Rally Against My Insanity

*dedicated to John Stewart's Rally for A Return of Sanity, 10/30/2010

To issues of complexity, is something thus contrived?
I look at the ocean and see complexity truly alive.
I cannot concur a self so responsive, while I aspire
No is a facade I present to balance a chaotic rivalry
between knowing and believing, real and imagined.

For just this moment, if I may cast a new self to make
A real no for a stand, against my negative expression
where I halt steps to my ill-conceived myriad manners,
like so many recursions over simplicity reduces friction.
Sing against mechanical knowing of what will proceed.

Perhaps no better a place exists to purchase a cliche
just this once, for a successful rally against negativity
having surrendered to a self lacking the eloquence
to reject the incompetent manner of a self negated
by the twisted false self, self serving act of hypocrisy.

How I manage all defeat by self prophecy, is less -
than my own untoward rejection of good, by fuzz
I offer a homage to humor's value in this process
and understand other's laughter provides focus.
"Blah, blah, blah," I said missively, "or something."

I now rally against that innocence as contrivance
And note the cliche of truth equated to something
and my sincerity juxtaposed to my teacher's dismay
in a class laughing uproaringly, skipping the question.
Pride, rebelliousness, vanity - conspired to make me.

The tension my manners, innocently suggesting, are
a discordant state of mind seeking a quest against
true answers, true questions, and smart relevance.
Pure vanity and pride matter if we lack a response.
And rallying, a question asks how to restore sanity.

Let this moment rally against din of false begging
where innocuous logic using innocuous notions
stated simply as something, raise a veil of derision
instead of being honest about asking a question
where no right answer begs us yet, to stumble on.

Understanding Degrees of Difficulty

With respect to Gurdjieff's view of man, that part of us that believes we can "do" is false, and yet due to our mechanical identification with it we not only protect it with all of our being, we are powerless to progress in the work of self remembering. And we respond negatively to our feelings of effort which do not achieve any penetration, insight, or result. On top of all this, this false self based on belief and imagination rather than truth, resists any effort to verify the truth about being, beginning with the idea that in our current state we cannot do. What this false personality creates is a reasonable saga to explain why things happen the way they do. This brings us to another layer of difficulty having to do with imagination once again insofar as given objective knowledge and even some degree of insight false personality grabs ahold of the idea and stops any and all action which might assimilate that knowledge, effectively shutting down and negating the possibilities that were present. It's as if we are mechanically programmed to accept the idea without verifying it, like being told where the door outside is without actually stepping through it - when the main objective is to go outside!!

~The Case for OpenSource Code on the internet

Works for me. The open condition will invite a better tone to the across the "netboard," which is always preferrable to me when especially when I'm seem like I'm in a slide.

We decide the reasons why.
That always entails a justice
that nails eloquent, we quote
our own brand answers, on wind
It's out there stalking, and waits
there's is a trick, Carlos said...
Funny guy, one time serious stu
as I became my own, I laughed
hard, in roll jerking my head too

still not convinced of a difference
to the wave of the hand, by grace
to a voice, speaks a unique name
you call it, This foolish little fiasco
we both know what peeps-seem
I can't tell you what ain't real-see
That's how I talk about that reality

I'll never forget the young times
a boundary moving us through.
Be that as it may, jack...
There's a forested mountain
you can still find your way back
if you're willing to climb a mass
of rock, past more mass on it
way up, where there's wind
for the joy and strangeness
incomparable listening makes
especially of the countryside.

So many women, (then) one day
and that was that for the girls
Like beautiful thought, came
ecstatically, always orgasmic
Waking up the young of yum

Who needs to check this out is...
Dave Matthews with is find guitar
And a butt like mine, spanked
over the time spent - I ran there.
Always its mis-communication...
never, is anyone on time, here.

The more important ghost echos
falling music in my soul loudly
and all around my head, not fun
my ass takes the biggest beat
must be why I get so confused
ending up at the casino then
But I'd swear she's right there
laying on her side, smiling wide
Just the darkness of shadows
The travel can be harrowing

Now Emerson wants the eloquent
to say that people are quoters
at heart their identity is absent
and indicates men are asleep
Trying to work in a segue for that
and not upset awake strangers
I'm reading Emerson for fun
and consult with a number
of potential goddess models
and nothing more eloquent
than the tricky Shamans today.

I got miles to go on that
before I can get out da way
Take that last slide in sand

That's where she'll be
if she's not playing something
needing better resonation
instrumentals she allways loved
In the beginning, it was chaos
nonstop madness, pure hor-

Here's to those that putt it
There's nothing like a round
to get the juices flowing
But, working at a course
there are so many calls
made to fit for Emerson

~View of the Plain

View of the Plain

Above the Plain, there's a special space, Emersonian
The argument is rather a lame duck, brutal nevertheless
I'd rather give more room to having fun writing my poetry
But the truth is far more nebulous, causing little in interest
What is real for Emerson regarding words, asks the question
Even while we may voluntarily investigate these paradigms
what he makes specific is the involuntary part of perception
forming a common parlance to a hidden entrance of the soul.

It's very hard to see, especially since any clarity is less than nice
the resulting 'event' seeks to exit life's flow with extreme predjudice
rather unconsciously, due to past reactions of trauma, add as a fact
that there's plethora of variation to what all that is non-voluntary
including a special complex case of active will, the one exception
The importance of this kind of socially based knowing is provocation
Agitating a reader in a just way which calls something important
in the reader, into question, not to invalidate but compel a living answer.

Just playing around with poetry, exploring Emerson's genius is arousing
I can post this View of the Plain as a introductory poem for the time being
Though it doesn't impress me with approaching Emerson's level of tension.
The thing for Emerson seems to be the quality of provocation made for us.
Gonna try and spark a little progressive segue in smooth transitions in here
for now....

© 102010 rjduberg

note: First in a series of poems that will span my current reading of Lysaker's book about Emerson and the notion of Self-Culture

~Convergence of Child

When the tide is right, is the view masterful in the light
and when the master looks, is not all - a tsunami of love?
What better manner of recognition lends itself to man
once a child, consumed by his own windy exuberance
defining such delight, twirling for the crash standing up?

Discovering higher dimensions exist to bring us to a halt
understanding nothing exceeds boredom quite as well.
Requires something more than reverence and willful fall.
Of timing, this present moment expires, in eternal irony.
A true man humbly begins again until converging it all.

© 92010 rjduberg

Her Fall Legend

And she was ...
and yet...
here she is...
and I am...
once, twice the man ...
in love again...
before the almighty...
absolute blindness...
reversal of fortune...
simple exchanges...
tasty kisses...
tornado chasing...
pupils flashing...
awe inspiring...
divine feminine...
mother too...
gods, her children...
madness of butter...
churned inward here...
and yet...
a shaman's question...
no better test...
living a quicker...
love eternal...
dream power...
sun and moon...
flying or floating...
her extreme heel...
heart condition...
better laughs notice...
tantra yoga...
revision impression...
prepared with binds...
free and unexhausted...
a thing to repeat...
occurring ecstatically...
beautiful divine grace...
all time sighs, naturally...
reason why deluded...
feeling insanely...
longer longing forever...
disipline of being...
perfect timing...
sweetest dreaming...
coming of autumn...
spring's perfection...
her legend...
Fall is mine.

COPYRIGHT © 10/2010 rjduberg

Groundhog Rhyme

I thought of you reading there, ahhhh...
So intelligent, sensitive, and kind
Anticipating another merry go round
No doubt, I've misplaced the notices
by those unwilling to hurl over my furls
too often closer to bovine cud than not.

There I was on the pristine bower looking
Your words - all - make my virtue a pleasure
Hit or miss you know, I do remember times
when I wrote in the zone of poetry read,
I adore those poets with disipline to write.
Even tonight, I've managed to kill a bear
while getting bit by the nastiest skeeters.

I could pray for talent entirely natural
allowing me to transmit unbound beauty
in poetry, from just looking at this nature.
And, I admit the thought arose too, for not.
I have learned not to mess with sources
for any reason, preferring purity of mind.

And do not bother with feeling grateful
about how I spared you your upchuck
by writing from inside a genre just read
instead of slamming other words badly
It's still the greatest exhaustion in my life
these sketchy rhymes beat me at times.

© 92010 rjduberg

To be or not to be...

This is the only way anyone can frame the question of truth (in the beginning)? Beyond this requires a level of heroism that is easy to spot but rare enough to challenge the status quo, and certain to raise new lessons for one's life. That can't I dare say ever have been a pleasant experience.

We all choose how we respond to life freely. Any denial can be overcome with a balanced attitude and humor. Desire matters first before anything else.

Dedicated to Sons whose mothers recently passed, being older doth suck.

Heart of Bliss

Bliss Today

Amidst all the normal noise
destroying harmony's place
sits our sleeping status quo
in disgrace at a street corner
while life is a flowing constant.

What began with that, expanded in volume to surround the rest - I guess...
I began now to ask about what that feeling would look like, made to sound...
I was watching a growth of magnitude, sure that this universe was feeling, now
returning me in color of newest green straight from my inner joy's celebration
- - to hear more
everything possible became mine and within no time my emotion buzzed
a glorious amplification of a harmony oin vibrations rising within WHAT?
- - Now this

Now that, and both as one, time and again, a flourish comes

a white hot flame putting all of allnesses in synchronized punch

never failing to leave me something of a fried mess of a bliss

- -  thinking what happened in my world just then thus goes unseen

I never thought it would come like this, being alone for the heart of bliss.

COPYRIGHT © 82010 rjduberg

Hostage Trip of Hell

This body is under an attack of ghostly terror
Already unreliable for demands of attention
evolving, accelerating, of rapid illumination
my body is groundhog, drowning is scripted.

The flesh makes procreation matter to death
and while becoming conscious of freedom
my flesh's self starts to search farther beyond
never succeeding. 'Out there' spoons no exit.

What desire understands, means to vanish
itself with self, from the endless yarn of cycle
Now it only creeps alongside fleshling waddle.
Mind's footing so tenuous by All's distraction.

A tactical genius is required to reset the spirit
forces a plenty, which together might render
another plane of consciousness empowered
within self's metaphysics, neutralizing tension.

Present to the world, I feel the force of sense.
The logic of my flesh defines precise function
that is expressed with mechanical clockwork
along gradients of purpose, effectively acted.

That's not you, nor me, all withal forgetting,
leaving vast debris of hubris, our night-falling.
Next time will be worse for the quick fixes.
Possibilities remain, silent still to illumine...

Oh, but such fantasy with this body, mine.
Here I sit having the sense time runs thin
knowing its my flesh's subjective view
on a trip even less desirable for its hell.

COPYRIGHT © 82010 rjduberg

Those Heralding Grace, A Toast

Those Heralding Grace, A Toast

Upon the land he found his feelings wrenched
tight in a knot, And everyone clammoring to be
heard next, driven by need only violence becomes
this path forsaking love the mystery has the knot
by the throat and then, some make a point well
for right, that no harm shall come to them, we honor -
such as custodians of prime nature, modern illumined.

For with them our humanity's destiny endures, chance
cannot penetrate or ruin the seed of love in harvest.
We are one here, conscious of this higher vibration
a state of being caused from the absolute above,
Remains eternally what it is, never born, nor reborn
never falling simply risen by final inward recognition
and for a lucky few, objective knowledge spoken.

Look how a mind falsely represents its living owner
by attending outwards and presenting that, names
interacting with things, made up with shadow crests
when the who deserves name in sacred utterance
of a spirit incarnate, free and real, conveying soul.

Once too arrogant to speak softly over what not...
I take refuge now in listening to truth sung by love
even while I keep furling my main sheet as a vent.
Alone, I now toast those unparalleled custodians
who may never understand what heroes they are.
I raise my glass to love and them. heralding grace.

© 82010 rjduberg

The Eagle, Cage, and Magic Karma

Appearing upon eastern firmament
reflecting western sunset, blazing tall
wrought majestic by chance encounter
days thence and face to face shudders
with what was days earlier hailed eaglet
now stood two terrible feet tall before me

Silent, still, shocking, a witness to my yelp
lifting in turn 6 feet wide carried invisibly
the pulse of her wings, a slow nonsense
her size continuing to diminish until lost
while I sat there unable to breathe this
in my little cart surrounded in a cage

What possibility makes karmic vintage
the most beautiful poetry in fullest sense
where turnabout turns out tears jubilant?
I beheld my limitations on that fence
Grown up - a eaglet's lift and soar into sky.
The beauty of spirit freed, to soar out there.

© 82010 rjduberg

New Grips

Too fresh and young goes right for the throat and bruises.
Tonight, I thought of a new schizophrenia, added to my list
the old fav, a rite of passage, mental illness on borderline.
I was never so bored then, now keep list of craziest juices.
When Ricky G invented lying, and Jennifer G picked him
over Lowe, more than some heat - generated by that girl.
Matthew's is Some Devil; a genius; he is Shiva blessed.

I was shocked to find myself resisting avalanche of spirit
so late in life, while I spend my time pretending otherwise.
It's not the white light, blindness, dumbass, or the witness -
falling ever behind, it's how long the flight - before my time.
Nevermind what I want, Santa got lost - in this impossibility.
After awhile, learning to be patient makes no difference.

You had me before? I died and came back in some fog?
asleep, let the world imprint something external of fashion?
Now invisible, worn smooth, the stubborness still has grip.
Afraid of what letting go will bring forth, turns up the heat.
You take some extra special inhales, humming; for today
new color coordinated, cutting-edge grips, have arrived.

© 82010 rjduberg

Tonight we were both right?

It's so nice when you can march with an adversary and walk away feeling that both of you honored the process, somehow? Huh? I don't know how that happens except that there's a special quality of our listening that accounts for the essence.

And ... maybe a few other influences I won't mention.

One I really am developing a PRE-Passion for is a new hallucinogen which purportedly can recreate a fully realized state of consciousness induction, by chemical... I hear the high lasts 20-40 mins. with no negative side effects under solid normal. And you experience infinity behind the cessation of one's EGO. What that is basically saying is that they have learned how to target LSD on that area of the brain which tunes to your EGO, that is until I read how much money a trip costs. I didn't even see where to start, I just know that whatever could be found is present right here, right now.

Made me sad that I wasn't interested in giving John a hug when he asked, the heart missing for something like that. Some bitch gave me that scar.

Rest of day was spent rhapsodic, in divine reaches, and now the wind is calm. For awhile, I was reverberating with memories of the most fragrant and exciting perfumes my girlfriends and a bunch of other women I chased as well, wore. Then there was this really nice expansion into various other but far different kinds of associated events which were no less for the satisfying, like wet newly mown grass in the morning mixed young sweat from a team on the gridline.

There's really nothing more important than translating vibrations of mind into whole body and whole being understanding. Well, let's just say I've been passionately expressing myself, with an understandably intense effort, and transcendence, easy and ripe. I've got the catalog backlogged.

Lastly, a shift in visionary thinking also took place although unintended it really seems unexpendable and necessary to reach a higher level of consciousness. I was musing again on a Hero King ethos reflection by social design. There's another hidden dimension there to the paradox of humanity's current dimensional status agreed to on bigger scale be only a beginning. Just starting, where we are going, invisible to what? how? for how long?

And then there was the death wish that popped up, scaring me a bit but just another realization and expression of my self, or maybe hints from above. As I was saying, the most important part of today was feeling the appropriate relationship between higher and lower and HOW it related to me and vice versa for sure.

Just thinking how little I want to know I guess, and the flow from up their is SO intense and constant and diversified, making feel like such a fool. Naturally speaking of course, I'm really HerO KinG incarnate - haha.

And now, I'm beginning yet another yoga. Is it a next step a higher possibility,  a greater process with greater proimse? Yes. The Book of Secrets will take me 112 steps to be more precise <vbs>.

Retrospect, shows me how much better a simple playlist shared and enjoyed can be when its new and somebody's creme de la creme. Anyway ...

Groovier Grabbing

My goober goosey gladdens in gracey giggle that tingles.
Hymnally, the goopier rant gains the glam of chanting jingle.
The delight of breathing is giddily gobby with the gushy vibe.
Going gimpy, I bestow ghostly glow, groovier, sweet feelings.

© 82010 rjduberg

Transit of Delight

Transit of Bliss From the High

Standing on the dock in this arriving mess
without waiting captain, a sea waits wide.
Inward, ocean horizons my soul a compass
for the seafare, a sloop made for my father
his eternal rest left it high and adrift, a cloud
in my sky of dreams, a quest for there.

This metaphoric seduction costs me pretty
a balance lost against the external grinds.
Disables, rescinds, cancels, and otherwise
ties a dream of freedom in dirge at dock.
Command expresses external axis to act
in labels moving to response, by and by.

Thus everything belonging to the present
including truth, energy, beauty, beings =
are immune to the clinging of command.
Poetry itself, language manifestly inward
requires a muse that transcends its world
where order of function thrives, as a rule.

My present furls on the dock of my transit
enough I reckon, to satisfy one afternoon.
I'm on an expedition to vibrating present
Where what comes from higher sources
is kept consciously so, never lost below.
My unfurled delight sails a windless wind.

I ask only for natural harmonic continuity.
Look for me playing on a big wave, cresting.
The best shine radiates a cleared deck.
A good sailor makes his art the best of now
Where consciousness of higher and lower
allows higher influence a blissful sanctuary .

© 8/2010 rjduberg

The Tantric Mongoose

Women need clarification, according to Shantam Nityama (Mongoose), from men. This requires men to be in touch with the streets and to complete their relationship with mom. This means loving one's own energy without compromise, not dumbing down, or invalidating. ... 
I like this teacher's focus and his protege SashaCobra as well.

Electricity (positive-male) needs to be balanced with magnetic (negative). Male and Female is just another way of representing this.