K'gaard, Chinary Ung, My Poetry

The following is a response to a friend which was my contribution to making K'gaard relevant today, making Ung's modesty understandable for what it stops short of expressing, and bringing into focus my own vision of what is possible and worth speaking for in terms of how I believe it necessary in order for man to realize his highest possibility again as PIONEER.

While your summary feedback on my comment I thought conceptually complete 99% of the way, there is one aspect to what I must infer that I failed to communicate and want to now emphasize as the fulcrum on which my experience pivoted so wonderfully in the reading of your poem. The old version is subsumed under living and understanding what I spoke of as on a entirely different level of concept than what you understood, at least in your manner and style in response. Somehow, I feel responsible for this "condition" since having clarity on the issue as key to higher possibilities for which poetry has always been a vehicle for exploring and channeling all things imminent in life for me, I don't see any other direction in which to continue this trend, except to CLARIFY the importance of shifting the LISTENING with the strength of my attention and response, leading to a immanent condition in the LISTENER's language about this issue.

What is the issue then, that I have now put in such a suspenseful relief with regards to your response to my comment and its traditional epistemology base? Think of your use of the notion of viewpoint. What I was speaking about certainly was associated to that idea but its essence existed with a radically different epistemology, concerning the nature of opinions and belief. What I was expressing was not a comment about something statically referenced externally to myself but rather dynamically understood within and inward to which I am conscious of as a process. In fact, one of the most notable aspects of your poem was the narrative process for its expressing so well much of what I was experiencing and thinking on, as I said earlier, just before visiting the cage.

Now, I hope that didn't sound like a bunch of gobbledygook because to interpret in terms of being a viewpoint loses the essential aspect of dynamic process which defines one principle dimension of the idea I'm trying to communicate. Without that aspect or dimension, the static or flatland "view" simply doesn't work nor does it in any way connect to the essence of what I was originally talking about, in terms of the relevant resonation I perceived between individual thinking and creativity that upon reading your poem evolved yet another dimension in my conscious awareness transcending once again ordinary ideas of relationship along this particular line of thought I'm traversing at the moment.

If I could articulate the higher dynamic dimensions and their essential roles in the integrity of my experience upon which our conversation at present is based, I would probably not have any more interest poetically, because I would be too busy essaying the truth to a much wider audience which for the simple reason that I could. Just like man traveled to the moon and walked around on its surface, including hitting a golf ball into the distance there, before he left. All of it was done because it was possible as a result of our choosing it to be realized in our consciousness with others in the world. Thus worth doing, it renewed our fundamental purpose in life and our passion to succeed, survive as pioneers, and evolve; by having the most profound effect of expanding humanity's cosmic boundaries in the Universe. So, gosh ... I hope my inability to articulate myself at the moment hasn't been to horrifying for you to wade through. LOL.

I'm grateful if you were able to stick with me to this point and retain some glimmer of the light I am attempting to shine on a mostly unconscious and unnecessary limitation we live with through our conforming to common parlance and the conventional knowledge is projects in our listening, for it represents a condition not unlike the one Kennedy transcended when he declared we'd bust a move into outer space within 10 years and play pioneer anew and fresh, once again. I know there are pioneers much more adept and masterful than I, running around this cage, if not every single member here, in fact.

The question then becomes how to stay conscious and how to create or add to the ongoing effort to create a new level of possibility in language such that ordinary listening on an ever expanding scale increases to articulate this higher dimension I'm speaking about. Think of it like constructing an infrastructure in our possibility to listen which is analogous to the physical infrastructure upon which society depends on with the result being once its in place an reaches a critical mass of organizing and quickly disseminating the higher energy and conscious awareness upon which the next higher dimension requires to show up for us and which is for now entirely invisible except to a few rare individuals at very uniquely rare moments of calm in the global gestalt allowing consciousness with enough dynamic energy to perceive such frequencies otherwise obscured by the normal daily noise and lower frequencies constantly engaged in chaotic and unaligned unconscious activity.

The upshot of all of that is nothing short of a completely peaceful and harmonious new power freely available and completely refining and upgrading every human's quality and possibility in life. Such a vision requires however this felt dynamic and becomes real only at the moment our speech articulates the space of it.

I read a really cool and 'spot on' relevant article to this issue earlier today in the local rag, about a Grawemeyer Award winning composer who will be coming to town soon, named, Chinary Ung. Our paper got it right this time by pulling this quote by him as a highlight introducing a sense of exactly what I'm attempting to not just metaphorically or symbolically or stumbullieya into, but drive hard towards connecting it with your listening, so that you feel the possibility yourself to recreate language in the moment to express this dimension. Ung was quoted as saying, "I don't believe in a complete loop or circle; I always leave room for negotiation -- in fight, in war, in love, in teaching, in anything."  There's much more substantive language within the article but I will leave it to you to research this virtuoso on the matter. I will add one more thing he said before closing though which so recreates what originally inspired my current cage ranting . He was referring to a chance encounter just before leaving school here to travel back to his homeland in Cambodia, a meeting which resulted in a scholarship that allowed him to return immediately to complete his formal education, but which also veered his path out of the genocidal meltdown there by Pol Pot which claimed 2 million lives including his family. He goes on to say, and I think THIS so fully echoes an aspect of this dynamic dimension I'm talking about with respect to living an ethical existence with respect to our most human capacity of choice and its relevance (see Kierkegaard's work on The Self and Ethical Existence for a full explanation), "The point is this, If I did not go (to that office), and I did not take that elevator at exactly the perfect time, I would have been sent back to Cambodia (permanently)."  And then, "Life is so delicate. It is so scary when you look back at that. It's incredible. I'm lucky. I'm not complaining." Kierkegaard is much more precise about the those rare moments and the choices possible for us and our ethical obligation to make them for ourselves. It wasn't the timing so much, as it was his choice to accompany the person he met in the elevator back for a conversation which lead to everything else instead of death, that is representative.

Now, you need to ask representative of what? And in that question, speak from the level of dynamic process which if someone becomes able to listen, will transform their lives from knowledge of a static unempowering world view to one which is moment to moment empowering and enabling consciously with respect to their possibilties and choice.

Hmmmm, I can't leave out his closing remark now for how well it matches yet again language evoking static knowledge compositionally (not poetically) to garner at least a slimmer of possibility for listening the dynamic range and its value. I'm speaking of a bold attack of creative expression whereas Ung is speaking on the level you did and yet by his remarks and my hypothesis here you can begin to notice a space of focus and valuation which once understood, itself will act upon your life in real time revealing to you with on going frequency how important everything I'm speaking about is with respect to raising one's consciousness and the possibility of higher realization of our one true highest possiblity to which we have an ethical duty to consider and work towards.

Ung says, "Yes, music is something I love to do but it is not at the top of my list anymore. Humanity, friendship, solving the suffering of your friends, yourself, reaching out to people and so forth. There's a list probably pretty long. And then there's music."     You gotta love the humble modesty of this internationally famous composer, don'tcha?



cheers, rj

Love Lost Again ... How Many Times?

Never fails to inspire me when a lover like Stephanie goes cold... partly because of the difficulty in describing and sharing the experience, I mostly reserve for poetry ... this one seems a solid contribution to the legacy of such moments of sheer loneliness bringing up such suffering, nothing really can adeuqately cope but a good sound chaotic thrashing of words for effect.

I hope she never reads this, because the odds of her recovery and bringing me such inspiration unlike anything I've known has established something of a good foundation promising a stable production for now... but who knows ...

For The Fool

Just the ranging depth and flow of emotions coming from loving her
of this one extreme gear made just for her; but, irrelevant now, gone.
And my entire point of contact reduced to bits of overused memory.
I know my heart won't last swinging in this complex wind of the injury.
Where the one I always knew would come - showed up to spite me
as though her own pain was somehow my fault, with my agreement.
I don't have her, though I never stopped wanting, but to fall this low
having the one girl meant for me, betray that love, lie and abandon.
There is a cancer spreading over my interior fire, a flame in her name
once roaring hot, now spits and pisses like a sick and wretched sod.

Her space grows cold and small for me, and I'm decided against it.
How do you tell the one, she's destroyed you, when she's a goddess?
There's no time like the present for new love, the years pass though.
Ummmm ... forever gone, and mostly complicated by rarest beauty
convinced me of little to no possiblity a Love will properly claim me
and thus ... love did cripple, maim, disfigure, diminish, and muck
a life, mine this time, and for so long, it now hurts to think about it,
impossible for me to make any real sense or understand this curse.
The one remaining move is called giving up the dream, for the fool.

COPYRIGHT © 4/2011 rjduberg

A triad of poetry

Dad

Dad
Dad
Dad, Amazing, overcome
    in the end
Ochopappi, RIP?
    UnUh - Do Over, ya miss.ed
the mark - Dot.Org
    the one and only
Ya can't hang *in* forever
    unless you chose sun
    You are coming back, Jack

Nathanji

The container of
    lead
That boxy limit of
    mess
Somehow comes down
    in a paradox
When Shiva and Shakti
    remember
One was Not, without
    the Other
The unity is singularity
    in choice
That simple Dot.Org
    in a Bush War
Not so easily done
    and yet,
That choice does
    work
If One remembers Not
    to forget

Percy WhoosHe 
Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Latest Potter redux pivot
    on paradigm shifted
Choice of Greek Mythology
    to first scored effects
And a blue-eyed Uma Glam
    in serpentine

© 4/2011 rjduberg

 Kabir says (One of the most famous of Indian sages of all time)

Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive.

Jump into experience while you are alive!
Think ... and think ... while you are alive.
What you call "salvation" belongs to the time before death.
If you don't break your ropes while you're alive,
do you think ghosts will do it after?
The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic
just because the body is rotten --
that is all fantasy.
What is found now is found then.
If you find nothing now, you will simply end up
with an apartment in the City of Death
If you make love with the divine, now, in the next life
you will have the face of satisfied desire.
So plunge into the truth, find out who the Teacher is,
believe in the Great Sound.

It Happens All the Same

You didn't want to hear the shocking directness.
It really is the only decline, I decline routinely so.
When ignorance is annoying, all sleep is shocking
with all but the longest odds bringing it for an upset.

Just not your broadcast, where anything gets done
on the heel of hearing a few points spoken of, only.
Some say kind and gentle borders love's departure
where something named turns a man's heart, over.

Love slows the pace to the rate of understanding
where the light shines on places between transits.
And on that spot, we stand shaking, holding on
only letting you go can cure and find the holy.

Today is no longer a secret or mystery landscape
where one's death is all to easily lost to illusions.
Come and connect discrete paths of life extension
Acts of power increasingly free man from death.

There is the wind and the wind is us, passerbys.
When you take the moment for silent meditation
wait, wait, wait for that wave of quiet in mind.
Being kind and gentle will quickly be extended.

For the joke about enduring love in relationship
is clearly about comparing it to a grill's rusting.
Finally its simplicity of range over wide areas
that seems basis for the mass of best endurances

Which has nothing to do with wandering ladies
Everything required to expand and extend love
is already present and existing in one's interior.
That range is a matter of attending there greater.

COPYRIGHT © 4/2011 rjduberg

Maturity of a Warrior

One changes facades by shifting the component elements of the facade itself. Self pity is useful to the user because he feels important and deserving of better conditions, better treatment, or because he is unwilling to assume responsibility for the acts that brought him to the state that elicited self-pity. Changing the facade of self-pity means only that one has assigned a secondary place to a formerly important element. Self-pity is still a prominent feature; but it has now taken a position in the background, in the same fashion that the idea of one's impending death, the idea of a warrior's humbleness, or the idea of responsibility for one's acts were all in the background at one time for a warrior, without ever being used until the moment he became a warrior. A warrior acknowledges his pain but he doesn't indulge in it. - Castaneda

 All these tweaks of one's foreground/background configuration doesn't add up some how. I like here how certain elements of experience are clearly seen as purposeful aids in one's living and practicing the art of being a warrior.

Spring Humming Along Now...

Springtime alas wild and noisy fornicating, brutality submerged in nature's gushing fount of hormones. Your Bumble Bee Buzz came to me today at the golf course, and I waited for the danger to show itself coming on around my noggin's backside. Turns out it was the most unbelieveably colored humming bird who took a perch and simply eye balled me while its engine fluttered in neutral still revving noticeably, threatening to explode in birdy flurry of which the hummingbird is so famous for. Craning its little neck to keep his eyeball on the surrounding foilage and the other one on me, and the most amazing sheens of radiant spring color would wildly change on the birdy's neck even while I observed.

Thanks for reminding of something only spring seems interested in, bursting forth like a broken dam only in a diversity of life second to none.

John Abe's Totality

Don't miss a beauty of simplification in Abe's eloquent offer at his site IMTOTALITY

After I read his philosophical treatsie I posted this for discussion...

Just finished my first read, and admit to skimming the last page or two. But in celebration of an inspiring effort by JA, I will move along to a 'session' before revisiting what I didn't have time for tonight.

On Knowing and Going...I would like to talk about the aspect of higher energy descending consciously for myself, On the wave form side of things I would as well ask if the mathematical model's logic which formed part of the source of Abe's writing, doesn't extend better or further or recursively even given the model's essential legacy in its litany of function, operation, variability, and application in the very history of the idea of space as suggested as a command of the flat line state of origin. So, I'd love to hear someone's understanding of expressing higher vibration on the symbolic lexicon of Abespeak as it were. So far we have the logic for Totality in connection to everything finite, changing, coming and going, here and not-there, but also here and not-here looking from Totality.

Factoring is a good variant for example. Can anyone express the code to that calculus which solves for at least one aspect of higher vibration and energy using factoring on THIS IS IT.

OR, maybe you have a superior TOPIC infusing your mind right now with such knowledge that is FACTORED by design, but by design how?

Are Abe's ideas based on another unspoken rule of simplicity which is forged by the very unevolved logic called either/or, is attempting to plow forward without the ALPHA point of Totality, missing some internal point of integrity?

The view that without certain fortifications, IMHO, Abe's philosophy doesn't recognize or raise more METHODS (really harder than that sounds, denoting illumined path) to confirm key point of our capacity and ability to shift consciousness to unboundedness and higher or dimensions transcending time and space.

TOPICS seem of immense importance as wave forms, states, or equations. It seems lacking in more sophisticated logical terms...

Anyway, for starters, I think there are a couple of possibilities for anyone to ponder and respond to. Thanks, rj

An Inside look at 'not-doing' life, from inside the shadows

Focusing on life by finding the void instead of the fulfillment, is more aligned to a shadow realm, to start. Taking the step towards unity of being, by expanding the number of dimensions you can activate, sounds like nonsense when expressed in words. As a paradox defines every extension of mind to higher dimensions, apply same here. Speaking from the heart can make writing difficult, no matter; such is the challenge.

The mission is like considering and working up the juevos to be more conscious at higher levels by intent. If it is ONLY a matter of personal power, just how the being expresses itself as a new process period, for starters... Think happiness would be an open stage to observe energetics of being. That would have to be replaced right away, still a good place to start, even if ... most people cannot relate to having it (state of perfection, ideal) be perfect the 1st time through, and the dry runs that indicates. Assuming it for the moment though, I find myself compelled to consider the difference in how higher personal power both is and is not more important than everything else. It isn't because ultimately nothing is more important, and yet it is.

Best Fresh Fantasy, awarded to IT

What a hand can do to you...

Holdem is a fascinating game of 3 passes, the flop, a second, and the river. The river is basically the last card you get. I had pocket KK tonight, and started raising in the ante. I guessed his pocket AA (I was right). On flop I got my set of Kings, and checked to his betting his Aces with no raise. On the river, an Ace played leaving me a losing hand, both of us having full houses.

The point of the story was how a winning hand turns horribly wrong and loses you a lot of money. I will spend the rest of the night wondering how I could have changed that outcome. Pocket As would have to be strongest MOJO you can have face down. I played them down in the beginning because I wanted him to feel he was still leading and bet his money for my call. Had I come out betting, he would have to consdier the set of Kings as my motivation. In fact, it was, and by not betting them I assured myself of another (in this case he bet $1) side bet on top of everything. If I had correctly contemplated that river A, especially given its Full Tilt Poker ... I should have been expecting the set up. In the past, when I've been smarter than tonight and did expect it, I can always recall doing better because I lost less.

I'm sure at least one of my neighbors heard me moan loudly at the loss.

What is more painful is how closely this comes to what i hate the most about the web. Nobody can deny it's "the" perfect setup for it. Denial is so attractive to accepting that one is hopeless to certain temptation. The Sin of Man is pure genius and has to be seen as the real reason that Christianity has survived as long as it has as well as been the foundation of the weakest and darkest ages man has gone through.

Now you have Madison Scott, porno star cum art gallery owner, doing anal scenes to support the lagging art business she began. And the bio is clearly a pro prostitution procreative protoy proliberal in its position on sex. That Madison comes across so sexy in her pornos is the heart of the matter though, and yet, I know that if there are porno queens out there living off their porno income, maybe Madison is simpliy being scapegoated?

On the topic of scapegoats, I can see myself adding again to that list. I have a few on there already, and one I simply want there because...

Leveling Up by Rita King (3rd in a series of 3)

Rita King, innovator-in-residence at IBM's Analytics Virtual Center and security futurist at the Aspen Institute, has made a very positive contribution at least in theory with a web site she has started, called, Levelingup.com. I recently caught a vid of her in which she described her vision of the future and how virutual reality was capable of enhancing our experience of creativity in the virtual world in order to improve and enhance our experience of being in the real world. And in conclusion she shared this new site of hers with the audience and basically said that if you give us the challenge we will make it happen ... LOL, right? So, I went to the site and all she has is a box to state your challenge with the promise that when the site opens, or perhaps when she gets finished being worked over by her legal department, she will get to you with a solution, hmmmmm ... well, this couldn't have come at a better time for me and my current little exposition and exploration of dance as an art form, shifting the focus from that rather classical paradigm of physical movement with all its bells and whistles to the paradigm of thought, more tapered to that small but leading section we call politics and which is the arena in which our collective self is attended to for the good of the many ... Well, if you're still reading, I highly insist that you visit the site and engage it with a challenge, and absorb the experience of this site as deeply as you can. Here's a copy of what I submitted and represents something a third section or revision to the original writing titled Who Speaks For You? This one is titled, The Rita Suggestion

The Challenge I face is observing a certain defect in humanity's social collective consciousness. For instance, at some point in the history of USA, our leaders determined that the cost in establishing a federal agency which regulated and supervised the quality of food and drugs sold to the public was not so great as the cost of innocent people being harmed by either their own ignorance or the greedy dishonesty of people who made promises about effects which often times targeted the weakest of us the most defenseless and most desperate. Yeah, that's a tragedy but when the volume of incidents reached such a noticeable daily increasing rate ... our leaders decided to man up.

The first part of this challenge is simply how to word the analogous question as it pertains to a different dimension or paradigm of being, that of our intellect. Everyday, it seems like the volume of corruption, in which marketing equates to manipulating the mind to consume, increases. This condition represents for me what used to be unconscionable sellers of sub quality food and drugs before the FDA was created to insure that money spent by those without enough, at least wouldn't be lost on food that was unhealthy.

There are certain boundaries which are better left clear and intact, unblurred as Rita might say. One of them is between commerce and relationship. When you piggy back commerce onto relationship then you have corrupted the possiblities of that relationship by limiting them to profitable exchange. However, the true serendipity of relationship occurs in the moments between and during what we normally think of as tragic or nonsensical and foolish. It is only then, supported by the nature of intimate relationship itself that we have the ability to pay attention and learn something new outside of our own programming, and even that occurs rarely and only in the most ideal types of intimacy unbounded by egoism.

The plain version of this challenge looks to me like my ability to simply be in the real world unfettered and unthreatened as I move and breathe, by consumerismistic information (advertising). Junk mail, and spam, come to mind as indicative of the LEVEL OF cost associated with this problem. I don't know the exact numbers, but were talking astronomically perverse, which is NOTHING BUT WASTE.

So, is there a way to lead the world that separates consumerism from the everyday world of being?

The Minds' Dance (2nd in a series of 3)

The connection will find itself better articulated when I revise this essay, referring to the connection between what a ballet production at ABT for instance is all about and what serves as the essential counterpart venue for the intellect of man, suggested by my question as off handedly as I could think of putting it.

Movement as an art form, known as Ballet, has been raised to such a symphonic work that by itself it includes our emotions via music and our intellect via storylines. However, classic the those contributions are to the production it is the dancer whose movement seems to transcend natural law in expressing how the music and story are connected using the most sublime and masterful movements which resonate fully and completely and perhaps more than anything else NEWLY.

This aspect or focus is what portends the deeper experience of being she talked about. This is less a deeper experience of being than a more connected or integrated experience of being. The connection to my question Who Speaks For You? goes directly to the distinct possibilities which one might answer that question with. If it be myself, then we are speaking about a production of integrity expressed through THINKING NEWLY, if it be other than myself, then we are referring to what is fragmented in the mind, our conformity to social and family programming (just for starters).

Intellectual paradigms are still far too ordinary and disorganized for anything like a unified standard skill to take root around the globe. There is the obstacle of culture, language, and this is all complicated by severe differences in cognitive values, for instance in the west be they rational and reductionistic, and in the east ... not that.

So ... the real underlying question about the title, Who Speaks For You? is the question HOW LONG IS HUMANITY GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS DEFECT in their collective unity and loss of power that persists as long as this condition persists?

I recognize that a few maverick geniuses do exist. I cited Jon Stewart for example, but another one is Werner Erhard and his work regarding developing linguistic distinctions and understanding which may form the basis and foundation upon which a solid mastery of the paradigm of paradigms may be acquired and NEWLY THOUGHT.

What I'm also saying is that NOTHING WILL HAPPEN UNTIL a critical mass of people demand it, voicing a loud enough public will to action, and the idea is or must be as simple as for instance the FDA was. And yet, at this moment, the real eloquence of that distinction eludes me, for now...

Who Speaks for You? (1st in a series of 3)

A friend of mine is a professional ballet coach. There is no denying her genius for dance and movement. In a written statement she shared with me which although not written by her was something she felt compelling for how it brought a certain complete and balanced mental perspective on what her daily activity is so passionate about, at least in general terms. The eloquence of this statement for me was founded on the idea that what the author (a professional ballet dancer) is "doing" on stage is seen as something co-created, a deeper experience of being.

If only reason and thought were so easily judged and assessed by the rest of humanity as an audience of world class ballet attends. Where are we to begin this process of focusing our attention with respect to words and ideas.

And what does the overload of info and the glut of facimile (or mentation, reason, and thought which doesn't produce depth in the reader or listener only frustration and dissatisfaction) mean, and when and where will it stop growing in mass and volume? Is there a limit to how much noise and distraction a mind can withstand and remain healthy and balanced nevertheless? The difference in listening seems yet to genuinely be appreciated for what it is - as social pressure adheres us to conform and accept false images and copies of copies of copies, including pure garbage and nonsense.

It seems to me that even a freshman whose study includes logic and heuristic thought would understand that society lacks a certain intellectual integrity which for instance, at least in principle and authorized by law, a suitable agency exists whose mission is to maintain and safeguard certain standards of healthy food production, known as the FDA in the USA. Such institutions in society just don't manifest without tremendous public pressure, which is nothing more than a collective agreement demanding societal change as 'good' in the collective sense of the word. And by good, I also mean implicitly necessary in the sense that to continue the status quo has been demonstrated to be completely negative and destructive of the public welfare and good. Often, inertia can be directly traced to a certain ambivalence of need collectively IE too many pros and cons. Rational sober debate is a starting point and ending point for the mind in that arena, but what about issues which have little support simply due to their being for lack of a better term, revolutionary?

There are speaks of brilliance, conscious efforts of men in support of a saner deeper intelligently relevant mentality to be somehow benchmarked at least by our communities and countries leadership. Jon Stewart is a favorite, but it doesn't take too much thinking to understand his comedy is really armor against the system which he is trying to reveal for all of its corruption, idiocy, mechanicalness, hypocricy, and every other notion of mediocrity you can think of ... its all here, running our lives and minds, and there is yet NO ground swell of protest, nobody with "a dream."

Don't you find that simply becoming all too wrong? What will it take for us to organize against the insanity of conformity, the corruption of economies, the pollution of ecologies, all in all, phenomenon which reflect a certain missing integrity to the humanity's intelligent recognition of the balance and value of silence in the realization of mental integrity.

The first mistake is to think that truth is a commodity for sale, or that it can be purchased. There is no pitch, no argument, no credential nor membership or club, which can provide your mind with the truth. There is a world however, devoid of any order, thus; one merely has to look at the next step their mind's about to take to find their own grist to grind.

Quotations Archive

He knows his death is stalking him and won't give him time to cling to anything, so he tries, without craving, all of everything." - don Juan in A Separate Reality, by Castaneda

"Warriors always take a first event of any series as the blueprint or the map of what is going to develop for them subsequently." - don Juan in The Second Ring of Power, by Castaneda

"Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose." - The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida

The task is not so much to see what no one yet has seen, but to think what no body yet has thought about that which everyone sees. ... But life is short, and truth works far and lives long: let us speak the truth. (Arthur Schopenhauer, 1818)

Look in an Open Wound

This will heal in time. I can't say how it happened...
the first stub to keep me from walking, knifed back
until now - now she's stumbling, past any new view
no righteous female commander to world of intent
and the highest point in the history I call romance.

Stubborn, arrogant, fixed and dogmatic, her surprise
was not, bringing me typical denial to hide behind,
but how long I reflected it back to her and endured
the ache, now the break, of my achy breaky dis-cord.
Whenever she calls me friend, I will not forget to love
and forgive life for the shadows and darkest skies.

The irony is a stub the one dancer I've loved left me.
Taken really, by the cliche of her domestic paradise.
Points for style, points for grace, points for her face,
knowing the best has long past, leaving us to suffer
what a genius was born for, blood alchemy of bliss.

Just the debris while cutting free from binds to other
becomes, yet another bind in a frantic list of action
taking me away from inspired dreams, made of love.
Time slows, with every step unsure, and goals fade,
until the best, last, fade surrenders all vision of her.

3/2011 rjduberg

Traveling, Mists Come

A motion is felt, the move of land
is a world now alive to misty being.
Passing is perceived, empty the way
A man is thrown to lurching illusion
his genius is there, but rarely seen.
As he wins or loses, it matters not.

It's recognizing possibility of intent
and its relationship to his intention
the unseen mystery of his interior
illuminated by self-remembering
and liberated by higher measure
his genius is the principle act for.

Turning great diversity into consort
revealing the genuine man within
a compendium within outer chaos
emptiness that moves the cosmos
and all at once still void, paradox.
The Tao symbolizes this in elegance.

Like a drum, the eagle percusses
shocking the stream into waves
rising, with silent bleats, in wind.
The word is a prism of us in one
whose genius reverbs in an Om
a sound with shine of the aplomb.

A mind may dream such insight
in wordless act, indescribable
for seeing, preeminent, eternal
as much the fish as water when
swimming is for the fallen spirit
and man, one wayward station.

Sounds of my carriage circulate
in ears to points of material map
my golden steed's heedless step
met-a-for_mer whinny in a neigh
longing for wildest love to prevail
for a tour that travels everywhere.

And yet, a call beyond destiny
boggles travel, as mists come
just entering a gate, fey inclines
one must be open in this way
before the way opens to one.
Look inward unto inner find...

A Mood Uplifter

Yesterday I found myself sending the following graphics to Stephanie, with the exception of the one of her in her wedding dress. But each one represents one of the fundamental centers of being in the Fourth Way. Having created this range in such a way between her and I, while it wasn't something I was consciously thinking about today, has certainly been on my mind at times in the past and suddenly today I find quite a remarkable snap of intent to see it through...

The centers of function here are moving, emotional, intellectual, and sexual.

Starting with One's First Intention

"Warriors always take a first event of any series as the blueprint or the map of what is going to develop for them subsequently." - don Juan in The Second Ring of Power, by Castaneda

 
I'm going to let this post simply be a place marker for now. The completion of this essay hasn't really surfaced in my mind, although the value of FIRST INTENTION, never seems to leave it.

What I want to say has to do with that value and it not only being the first value but the greatest and last, the alpha and omega of one's life. If you haven't asked yourself this question, you haven't lived your life yet. If you haven't struggled with this question, you haven't examined the possibiliities of your life. If you haven't lived this question you haven't tasted the beauty of truth or the power of eternity.

Quotations Archive

All minds quote. Old and new make the warp and woof of every moment. There is no thread that is not a twist of these two strands. By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. We quote not only books and proverbs, but arts, sciences, religion, customs and laws; nay, we quote temples and houses, tables and chairs by imitation. -Emerson

But the inventor only knows how to borrow. . . . Every book is a quotation; and every house is a quotation out of all forests and mines and stone-quarries; and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors. - Emerson

Our character is thus borne toward eloquence by how we conspire with the winds that sound us out, with how we respond to our shifting centers and play along the heaving circumferences of our condition. - Emerson

The Book of Mormon, A Broadway Musical

Find a "review" of Jon Stewart's interview with the creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone at popwatch.ew.com, on their latest production titled, The Book of Mormon. While I haven't seen the show yet and may not for some time, from everything I've heard and read so far I am encouraged enough to feel confident in promoting this show unequivocally.

There was a moment in the interview with Jon when the word mystery was spoken as something primary to their purpose aka their personal higher authority/power. I like the idea of how they appear to be escorting in to society teaching perspectives on how to utilize mystery as an explorative tool, with the result being something quite germaine to peace and harmony. Certainly, a key step in manifesting peace is one's ability to be open to and appreciate different points of view. I think its appropriate that their "religion of mystery," representing a collective evolution in the paradigm of religion, would be expressed musically with its revelations in humor. In a post religious world of genuine holy freedoms these elements would be my preference, for starters anyway.

Quotations Archive

“Things are saturated with the moral law. There is no escape from it. Violets and grass preach it; rain and snow, wind and tides, every change, every cause in Nature is nothing but a disguised missionary.” - Emerson

“Fate involves melioration. No statement of the universe can have any soundness, which does not admit of its ascending effort.” - Emerson
"...and the true romance which the world exists to realize, will be the transformation of genius into practical power." - Emerson

“A man should know himself for a necessary actor,” Emerson states. “A link was wanting between two craving parts of nature, and he was hurled into being as the bridge over that yawning need, the mediator betwixt two else unmarriageable facts.” - Emerson

Ode to Rhiannon Runnin'

I was singin' to her

while smellin' the air
Taken by the wind...
Taken by the sky...
She was mine but was
Taken on the sly,
behind a girl’s lie,
Leaving me to cry
Unable to say bye.
After years, she finds
this face - with smiling
eyes, gazing into hers,
in awe of love’s return.  
 
© 022811 rjduberg

MoonSea

Whatever differences may come
to others not serious and sincere
I have heard the Moon's laughter
regarding so many fictions levied
Over her own truth, light reflecting
for one vision that listens depth
sincerely, seriously, and silently.

There is singularity at the source
incapable of description here
yet, quite there, and yet, where
waters bring full circle light here
in shimmering beauty of shadow
reflecting moon shine harmony.

Coming home within humanity
it gives our sexuality its power
from highest source naturally.
Nothing comes nearer in fact
to this union of chaos and order
manifest in the divine blended.

In polarized yet reciprocal union
created out of pure reflection
we have the cosmic equity
which forms the foundation
of humanity's procreation
reflecting solidly and true.

© 022711 rjduberg

To Die For

The part of life I have cared the most about,
enjoyed the most, learned the most from,
found the most inspiration as a result of,
came unglued to most with,
spent my nights awake over the most,
ever became ecstatic over,
ever felt my life martyred by,
or felt like martyring my life by,
not to mention just dying for.

Well it died just yesterday now
after revealing itself as a fraud.
Letting go was never so hard
and yet, who can hold on
in the face of a bracing wind
to the tail of a tale about vapor

There will be no wake for the crying
those better left alone to think it over
might just complicate things if they knew
the manner of my lover, lying I could trust her.
Despite her persuasions and sleight of hand
which defied my reason and better judgment
for years, only to suddenly call on my attention
with that old pattern I honestly thought was over

found everything at risk to begin had evaporated.

© 110223 rjduberg

Lover

my heart beats
sound your name
in my soul as clear
as rain, as radiant as
the sun, and as deep
as the ocean, as beautiful
as a starry night, and more
fragrant than any rose.

The Talent is the Call

Bringing light into the world making life possible
would be the sun's call and her answer shines
without condition but without recognition, love
and a talent that makes miracles like this world
remains so far away, its said too close burns ya
and every feather I see floating is what remains
of those who got separated from their shadows
when blinded and dehydrated, surprise surprise.
Nobody blames her, life thrives more than not.
Of that I have to believe, like a moon shadow
Her talent is a world that loves her still, so, well
even while not knowing, their being calls her.
If I have a soulmate then as much as you, her.
And if I am sideways with you, then with her
while the weather will roar in darkest shadow
Even Gaia cannot stand love that is wasted.
Being a man requires you to negotiate love
against the unbearable thought negation.
The cost skyrockets after so many declines
and nothing good comes in that descent.
Gaia tells me the same, a brother as well
Skewed is a little town I'm accused of visiting
when the descent bankruptcy begins to win.
This ONE TIME, my star will continue to shine.

© 2-17-2011 rjduberg

A flashback proper ummmm ... Oh Alice ...

The major facts which I find relevant like a hammer. Today has seen me pumped full of higher energy from somewhere I didnt attend to, really. Now, there's been a breach and I'm afraid virus' more than anything, and I'm far too cooped up, but I can't deny Steph hon is a schmumongous hottie that girl ... has secrets I will not tell. But I'm telling God right now did he get all of that one or what? Some would say I've been blessed, LOL, that would make my entire life if she opened up to me in reality.  Dreaming.

But who needs reality when her fantasies are just smokin YES...ok then ...

~Death Rambles to Hell

Itt's sad again to run into my melancholy, unexpected distress now
 change, now, some added survival skills
slow is for me, ranged out comfortably, ticks are lost on others
change of atmosphere's Kelvin is never missed to my extremities
hands and feet, numb as hell
always noticed, always in mood to engage legendary futterwacken
 a lot is rarely noticed except by function, and some moods don't care
I got em spread out more consciously now, their essence comes
along a measure of energy singular or combined, mess kept separate
for messy minds in past and history tonight, the way back, unkind
SCAT FACT
Just feeling clear enough to quickly harmonize a frequency polyphonic
 energy vibrating at a certain rate, pace, or dynamic range is aligned
Right now I am on the tail of a big flop, in full polarity reversal
and nothing is very pretty about such a sight, felt invisible butt ugly
known only by new felt energy, heard by inner ear, with an inner eye.
ENERGY in a MOOD
But tonights mood strangely suggests I lost relational respect
after earlier today dramatically stating how much I need her
I felt so much pain over losing Renee I threaten suicide to her
and there's nothing odder one finds than desperate pretense
you know your going to face whatever, if your ruse misfires
but nothing could be expected to be greater for the magnitude
expressed in an actor's talent to be sincere despite negatives.
There's no honor gained by forgetting to de-stage in present
where reality exists and life is limited to existing processing
process existing like death ramble to hell
to make death early and merciful my answer
for what?
NOT THIS
Stephie's convincing me no matter what, she will not cheat.
That one is a real stormy pit with surging cold front coming
front surging in me, backside will wait until eye floods not
in dry whisps wheezing maybe, tired of crying over a girl.
WATERSOGGY
She convinced me with concurrent moods unfamiliar now.
I just feel the inevitable pain of being axed permanent like...
my inward horizon unseen yet felt beyond foggy notions
I've learned to trust even if wrong, for such errors instruct
us, to lessons of abstract nature to prepare the eventuality
of our escort to manifestations reflecting nothing familiar
old conditions overrun by abstract knowledge, now here
makes a new mood - so highly desirable.
I liked the old ones when she was still mine to have
it's worthy even if untrue for my dreams of any sanity
MOODED
grace, high and dry, less being fav...
The thought of losing her still bloody's floor with cardio
my chest wounds leave me broken without the sorrow
for I'd rather not end my days in a world without her
and I'm pretty sure my frenzied attempt to re-negotiate
the new mood's shadow, cast over my heart like a hat
failed miserably with another slow roll to the presses.
I take as some kind of compassionate compromise
where extra time is provided for me to get used to it
LOL
casting shadows on my face like that
and used up in encore between surviving issue
sees me choking on view to extinguishing flames
the idea itself reprehensible, only she would
unafraid, and really without care still so graceful
so much that these lethal wounds she disallowed
and now this makes a second time with the one
whose to blame! ... when all is mutualized nutbag.
NO
still engaged but connection fading, right?
how much time? is simple, shorter, no doubt
what hope have I remains a crime third time
still a third time really sucks somehow
and I should mention that any killing
possible not for lack of weapons
or killers and triggers
would favor me by ending this
by doing me first
so sick to see her
a third time, is odd, is it not?
COPYRIGHT © 2152011 rjduberg

PS-I hope she never reads this, and my experiment remains less influential outside my control. I prefer her maintain social grace with positive notes even if volume decreases steadily and unresponsive for glory of past.

Somewhat ashamed my general westernized idiom use here hearkened me back all theway to Renee ... so concerned that my choice on a subject that sucks like this will offend or irritate a reader's comfort with this poem.
It talks to a specific time and place and understanding relevant to my life and it sucks but wtf? That's the ramble to hell man

Open to suggestions for replacing my current navigational maps with new associations, for sure.

Namaste,rj

~Relief in Need Needs No Theory

It's oh so early but not nearly for my insomnia
spending time like spare change on confection
comes not unlike the extra lbs of middle age
this morning as I braille matters numb in hand
running on empty again when long ago dry
One part per million I've heard is too much
how to discern that in one's spirit weighs humble
on so many operations one's mind will execute
chaining along a linear fashion is trope norm
while a few oddballs throw in knots of dreams
which cue one to stop, and play the back side.

In this memory of power once driven round
all these knots have become a kinder route
with the chains of moments flowing in time
vanishing falling even wandering off remote
a few special kinds of noisy pieces are kept
to remind me that while I prefer not time
ways remain myself tethered unfortunate.
this waste of now in such noisey alarm
keeps me awake, aware of my aches of age
Would life be without ointments and heat
power sources I can plug into in the pinch

Such time constrained reconaissance
would be for not, leaving one part enough
to seek my future and succumb to the rest.
The relief of braille may bump a paradox
yet I find the more relief the better the now.

Graphic for Death of a Valentine

Archived Quotations

The only thing that is real is the being in you that is going to die.
— Castaneda, The Fire From Within

"The greatest secret of monarchic rule...is to keep men deceived and to cloak in the specious name of religion the fear by which they must be checked, so that they will fight for slavery as they would for salvation, and will think it not shameful, but a most honorable achievement, to give their life and blood that one man may have a ground for boasting."
— Baruch Spinoza

“...Before considering the question that is seemingly always the most immediate one and the only urgent one, What shall we do? we ponder this: How must we think? For thinking is genuine activity, genuine taking a hand, if to take a hand means to lend a hand to...the coming to presence of Being.” — Castaneda, The Fire From Within

"...If warriors are going to have an internal dialogue, they should have the proper dialogue. That's the detached manipulation of intent through sober commands." — Castaneda, The Fire From Within

"...one cannot speak of anything at any time: it is not easy to say something new; it is not enough for us to open our eyes, to pay attention, or to be aware, for new objects suddenly to light up and out of the ground."
— Foucault, The Archaeology of Knowledge

...one of the most blinding of all errors in our search for our true nature and for paradigms which enhance our participation in life is the confusion of who we are with our consciousness of things. We confuse being with being conscious.  — Werner Erhard, Essay - Being Well

Another Beautiful Sunset in Imperial Beach

May the Biggest Spammer Win...

Most reasonable people would agree that it doesn't make sense that the companies who own or take part in a network of interlinked websites should rank higher than those who don't. And why should the websites that have people "writing" boatloads of blog comments outrank their competitors who have no desire to spam others' blogs? If you're commenting because you'll possibly get some link value rather than because you feel the need to add to the conversation, it adds unnecessary clutter and should be considered spam by the search engines (in my opinion). I wouldn't be surprised if 90% of blog and forum comments fall into that category, as do most articles submitted to article directories.  - Jill Whalen,CEO of High Rankings, Boston MA
 

I read this today and the ambivalence I felt represented Jill's occupational integrity and courage in calling out one of the biggest of the big boys responsible for the show we call the internet on how the facts don't match up with their spin. Understanding how the trail that leads up to Google's door is one of the most lucractive and expensive ly maintained cyber paths you can find today, the defacto cargo which that road carries, there can be no mistake about, liquid capital, money for short. The western advise for deconstructing any commerical enterprise called "Follow the Money," is a key factor in analyzing internal Google policy and operation, because of its primary place in their economy and in conjunction with the skew between factoids of function and statements of policy. Thus when asking the question about black box results not justifying policy one has use money in the first variable to find the closest or smallest angle of attack in generating an explanation.

The skew then becomes less about error and more precisely about money and its leverage between functional results and how far Google's statements can veer or appear to still obtain poilcy if the questions regarding greyness in those results can be dismissed in light of a minimum set of cold hard facts obtained. Another word for this corporate spin control between operations having a skewed skew or derived skew has historically been propaganda. The way Google avoids this kind of reputational negative has to do more with the fact that Google's royalty and huge such that they acquired a form of monarchial power to their base. Thus, spin with the purpose of persuading or convincing or generating more support, necessary and part an enterprises strategic planning for competitive response no longer supports or impacts corporations economic health since the days of acquiring larger market share or over. 

What the challenge is now to succeed IS in NOT giving any critical mass of content leading to dissatisfaction and rejection based on the sense of being lied to or not adequately supported or you name anything involved in a perceived lack of integrity or lack of innovative pace and speed and the challenge now is containing that everything in that box from getting out and becoming visible to the client.
Jill's article may lean a little bit in favor or her own personal and corporate bias, and such managers of critical review content must be careful about their rhetoric, carefully qualifying their assessments and editing out bias to be successful in their jobs journaling on an industry where every event and operation exists only because someone was courageous enough to invest in a new paradigm of design from which to generate solutions current programming was too weak to address, just looking at this from a pragmatic and economically viable angle. Risks are taken both out of a commitment to vision or excellence but more rroutinely because of the possiblility of bigger pay check or payday that such efforts on new development are justified by given the massive organizational support and retooling that often comes with them.

What Jill has given me pause so I could revisit my mostly cynical attitudes towards eCommerce applications which dominate the internet as well as Search Engines, which as I have already described exist at the most expensive locations where nothing but money travels and clients get treated to the back doors and alleyways so that all resources for transfrering and accounting for money are state of theh art. These doorways are gigantic perversions of infrastructure you can find at the pinnacle of business today. Shocking realities which are quiete rarely seen in public media and reporting (the real propagandists) and kept free and clear of the trouble makers like Jill by simply censoring all who travel their letting only qualified money carriers enter and exit with some very esoteric encrypted passkeys.

So there's the money, and the skew, and the logical connection with the concluding inference that money is buying the skew, and paying the owners to CONCEAL results thus maintaining the public impression that the company's purpose is not being manipulated and thus the public's vote and their choices limited and/or monopolized, worst of all that market share has been coopted and now owned instead of competed for OR that god forbid what the public is being told is a fabrication and misrepresentation hiding these facts due to the likelihood of sales revenue fueling a competitor or competing market, NOT that general revenue is at risk since its dominated these days by the advertising dollars which form the basis of why the skew exists in the first place.

It's a fascinating phenomenon of corruption to consider and credit must be given to any reports which suggest or organize the intel which expresses the truth for less sophisticated laypersons, naturally existing in positionsn of regulation and governmental oversight, people most vulnerable and given into schmoozing buyoffs and bribery tactics, backroom dealings and their own form of compromise and spins aimed at more ideological pursuits instead raw profit.

Next ... What's really going on here!

Death of a Valentine, 2011
She's a ginormous goddess, fresh and natural
wizened through falls, gaining so much grace
she is a champion female with a divine touch
intelligence composed, understated, brilliant.
Her focus, an arc of grace, dances in a ballet
once upon a time, awing audiences on stage.
She is my self-reflection perfected in a woman
I have only adored more, each and every way.

But now that she's returned, be glad your late.
For I am not so feminine, nor nearly as brilliant
and things slow to me, while others keep pace.
I don't see an end coming to always being last.
I have gotten a solid point in this never-ending.
Complicated naivete in reserve, forward hurts.
Whatever comes last, of and out, of this moment
is my tradition, I have no one to blame but myself.

I write this poem for love, celebrating wonder
over my capacity to still feel love in my heart
especially for her, and hearing hers still return.
Just doesn't matter much to anyone anymore.
I've been waiting all my life for a girl like her
whose virtuosity is a flowering within my heart
I may yet get the rep, so often weeping starts
It took days at one point for me, to understand
I am making almost everything up in my head.

When I came to, I was once again sobbing
over the realization our love is fading history
and what I was engaging, all virtual in limit.
Leading once again to the original tragedy
whence I lost the chance as her Valentine.
Forever now without her deepest intimacy
seems worse for being my principle suffering
in ongoing struggle with wheels on the spin.

She is really so incredibly hot, love so true
Thus a poem to remember my role to wit
with a Valentine requeim made to honor
and the rest to recall how losing post felt
with a note on being humbled by love
and so it is even at the time of this write
My love for her was never greater, despite
knowing all is ruined inward, a future black.

© 2022011, rjduberg

dedicated to Stephie

One of the best cracks I've found expressed by don Juan....

"Everything that we do in the world," he said, "we recognize and identify by converting it into lines of similarity, lines of things that are hung together by purpose. For example, if I say to you fork, this immediately brings to your mind the idea of spoon, knife, tablecloth, napkin, plate, cup and saucer, glass of wine, chili con carne, banquet, birthday, fiesta. You could certainly go on naming things strung together by purpose, nearly forever. Everything we do is strung like this. The strange part for sorcerers is that they see that all these lines of affinity, all these hues of things strung together by purpose, are associated with man's idea that things are unchangeable and forever, like the word of God."  - don Juan, Castaneda, Magical Passes

Just read this quote above this morning and while I have been studying the and articulating the limits of langauge and thought expressed here by don Juan, I can't remember it ever being put so well in terms of simplicity and coherence. I think he gets right to the point without even ever really labeling the nature of it. One of my fav quotes.

Emergence and organization towards a taxonomy of organizing relations

I have argued for a physical basis for all ontological forms of emergence and consequently appear to be denying the possibility of a great wonder of the universe: its meaningfulness. But I want to suggest here that in fact I am arguing for an even greater wonder and that is that the physical, material universe itself is capable of conscious existence through its interdependent accumulation of complexity. In other words what we normally think of as "mental" is in fact a characteristic of complexly organised forms of ordinary matter and requires no miracles for its development.
- Jones, S.
______________________________________

Find that explanation hard to digest? This is the state of the art as far as ontological reason applied to the subject of consciousness expressed by physical beings. It renders the flatland of reductionism with and added dimension of cascading or ordered magnitudes as an essential MEANS by which a possible explanation for consciousness as emergent from the physical stuff of our physical being's constitutent parts. In other words where ordinary reductionism satisfies the necessary links and connections which exist among an organized set of constituent parts forming the basis for the emergent coherence and object being expressed at one step higher but due directly to the interrelations among parts. What Jones is attempting to ram down our throats is that consciousenss is just a meta level spanning the entire system and emergent from both all levels, all objects of coherent function and all constitutent functioning. From that perspective he suggests what emerges is the experience of being conscious. While it extends the reason along already emerging lines of meta logic on the integrating one's VALUE across and/or spanning separate paradigms, it to do any justice to the nature of coherence which consciousness must express as emergent from the physical.
What is the snag here preventing us from languaging the reality of consciousness, of which Jones' attempt was a gallant attempt but nonetheless worthless in identifying the emergence of consciousness ontologically. He does this knowingly it would seem as I recall early in his paper him speaking about the Irreducible quality of consciousness which is non-physical, but in the conclusion he forgets to address how function emerges in a non-physical operation to create meaning and value abstractly vs among the array of methods properly defininig a neuro net and feed back system.
His attempt to rebuke I think comes in talkin about the ontology of language and how nothing in our language exists without some phyical corresponding reference. This kind of specious reasoning is a bit disappointing. On the one hand ontologically one defines language by physical measures or info perceieved and inventoried into sets which then are given linguistic names. However, that doesn't prevent the evolution of memes taking place on purely randomized non physical days of foamy chaos. We live for these days or at least our best humorists do and the reason for that is because it is precisely this ontological blind spot of Jones' which completes us as human beings.

~Yours Truly

In response to a challenge from a poet's community of mine over the following quote ... A poem is never finished , only abandoned - Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Yours Truly

Poetic power is a creative strength,
less an order of magnitude. What is
at the source, words, needless define
a subtle quality then missed in rhyme.

Here in the west, horizons list, belie
a future we believe, just emerges; here
we wait while time gains on what not
while future stays forever past us, there.

Thus never finished, only abandoned
in west, by flight to inner eastern light
where nothing begins, a route to end
makes a void, humorless, tasteless, fin.

So it was this poet traveled far away
before transcending the old manner
reversing the slide of my muse in stride
where words I used, used me instead.

Don't fret the mystery, for the mystery
can be gotten without effort or sweat
evolving the mean to encompassing
when the poet vanishes in a muse ally.

I say get used by the word, all mystery
and your act inscripts thus creatively
being free of any efforts to achieve
as you simply let be, YOURS TRULY.

1/15/2011 rjduberg

Hold on to your Hat

~Sagacious Orator

The speaker's stage set
upon the cue
the veiled consciousness
freed of itself.

The intent to oration
is a bizarre contraction
forever the sound confuses
ignorance, revealing a void.

And he spoke a line, meant
to connect a relative scale.
He spoke not for love, now
in service to please, all Being.

He was fond, and yet, loved
though others found him mad.
Those who were silent nearby
began to realize themselves.

Stunning Mystery of Life

How wonderfully impossible to describe is the actuality of this PLACE we call Earth where we live in my waking thought and awareness tonight. Whisper, shhhhh, for here she is right here, and that perfume makes me cry. No lover, no girl, no goddess I've ever laid eyes on matches the immensity of beauty and love which lives directly under my feet and unlike stories of creators, my true gratitude rests and is for her, this place in the cosmos for which my life, what there is left of it, has always been unable to fathom even as it pervades every pore and dimension of my being.

~sanguine sang the words i love you

Everybody wants to hear
the sound that loves them
music for one, transcends
when the heart enjoys
resonation  deep in -
A medallion of calm
turns chaos to contrast
the celebration of life.

Nov 2010

Rally Against My Insanity

*dedicated to John Stewart's Rally for A Return of Sanity, 10/30/2010

To issues of complexity, is something thus contrived?
I look at the ocean and see complexity truly alive.
I cannot concur a self so responsive, while I aspire
No is a facade I present to balance a chaotic rivalry
between knowing and believing, real and imagined.

For just this moment, if I may cast a new self to make
A real no for a stand, against my negative expression
where I halt steps to my ill-conceived myriad manners,
like so many recursions over simplicity reduces friction.
Sing against mechanical knowing of what will proceed.

Perhaps no better a place exists to purchase a cliche
just this once, for a successful rally against negativity
having surrendered to a self lacking the eloquence
to reject the incompetent manner of a self negated
by the twisted false self, self serving act of hypocrisy.

How I manage all defeat by self prophecy, is less -
than my own untoward rejection of good, by fuzz
I offer a homage to humor's value in this process
and understand other's laughter provides focus.
"Blah, blah, blah," I said missively, "or something."

I now rally against that innocence as contrivance
And note the cliche of truth equated to something
and my sincerity juxtaposed to my teacher's dismay
in a class laughing uproaringly, skipping the question.
Pride, rebelliousness, vanity - conspired to make me.

The tension my manners, innocently suggesting, are
a discordant state of mind seeking a quest against
true answers, true questions, and smart relevance.
Pure vanity and pride matter if we lack a response.
And rallying, a question asks how to restore sanity.

Let this moment rally against din of false begging
where innocuous logic using innocuous notions
stated simply as something, raise a veil of derision
instead of being honest about asking a question
where no right answer begs us yet, to stumble on.

Understanding Degrees of Difficulty

With respect to Gurdjieff's view of man, that part of us that believes we can "do" is false, and yet due to our mechanical identification with it we not only protect it with all of our being, we are powerless to progress in the work of self remembering. And we respond negatively to our feelings of effort which do not achieve any penetration, insight, or result. On top of all this, this false self based on belief and imagination rather than truth, resists any effort to verify the truth about being, beginning with the idea that in our current state we cannot do. What this false personality creates is a reasonable saga to explain why things happen the way they do. This brings us to another layer of difficulty having to do with imagination once again insofar as given objective knowledge and even some degree of insight false personality grabs ahold of the idea and stops any and all action which might assimilate that knowledge, effectively shutting down and negating the possibilities that were present. It's as if we are mechanically programmed to accept the idea without verifying it, like being told where the door outside is without actually stepping through it - when the main objective is to go outside!!

~The Case for OpenSource Code on the internet

Works for me. The open condition will invite a better tone to the across the "netboard," which is always preferrable to me when especially when I'm seem like I'm in a slide.

We decide the reasons why.
That always entails a justice
that nails eloquent, we quote
our own brand answers, on wind
It's out there stalking, and waits
there's is a trick, Carlos said...
Funny guy, one time serious stu
as I became my own, I laughed
hard, in roll jerking my head too

still not convinced of a difference
to the wave of the hand, by grace
to a voice, speaks a unique name
you call it, This foolish little fiasco
we both know what peeps-seem
I can't tell you what ain't real-see
That's how I talk about that reality

I'll never forget the young times
a boundary moving us through.
Be that as it may, jack...
There's a forested mountain
you can still find your way back
if you're willing to climb a mass
of rock, past more mass on it
way up, where there's wind
for the joy and strangeness
incomparable listening makes
especially of the countryside.

So many women, (then) one day
and that was that for the girls
Like beautiful thought, came
ecstatically, always orgasmic
Waking up the young of yum

Who needs to check this out is...
Dave Matthews with is find guitar
And a butt like mine, spanked
over the time spent - I ran there.
Always its mis-communication...
never, is anyone on time, here.

The more important ghost echos
falling music in my soul loudly
and all around my head, not fun
my ass takes the biggest beat
must be why I get so confused
ending up at the casino then
But I'd swear she's right there
laying on her side, smiling wide
Just the darkness of shadows
The travel can be harrowing

Now Emerson wants the eloquent
to say that people are quoters
at heart their identity is absent
and indicates men are asleep
Trying to work in a segue for that
and not upset awake strangers
I'm reading Emerson for fun
and consult with a number
of potential goddess models
and nothing more eloquent
than the tricky Shamans today.

I got miles to go on that
before I can get out da way
Take that last slide in sand

That's where she'll be
if she's not playing something
needing better resonation
instrumentals she allways loved
In the beginning, it was chaos
nonstop madness, pure hor-

Here's to those that putt it
There's nothing like a round
to get the juices flowing
But, working at a course
there are so many calls
made to fit for Emerson

~View of the Plain

View of the Plain

Above the Plain, there's a special space, Emersonian
The argument is rather a lame duck, brutal nevertheless
I'd rather give more room to having fun writing my poetry
But the truth is far more nebulous, causing little in interest
What is real for Emerson regarding words, asks the question
Even while we may voluntarily investigate these paradigms
what he makes specific is the involuntary part of perception
forming a common parlance to a hidden entrance of the soul.

It's very hard to see, especially since any clarity is less than nice
the resulting 'event' seeks to exit life's flow with extreme predjudice
rather unconsciously, due to past reactions of trauma, add as a fact
that there's plethora of variation to what all that is non-voluntary
including a special complex case of active will, the one exception
The importance of this kind of socially based knowing is provocation
Agitating a reader in a just way which calls something important
in the reader, into question, not to invalidate but compel a living answer.

Just playing around with poetry, exploring Emerson's genius is arousing
I can post this View of the Plain as a introductory poem for the time being
Though it doesn't impress me with approaching Emerson's level of tension.
The thing for Emerson seems to be the quality of provocation made for us.
Gonna try and spark a little progressive segue in smooth transitions in here
for now....

© 102010 rjduberg

note: First in a series of poems that will span my current reading of Lysaker's book about Emerson and the notion of Self-Culture

~Convergence of Child

When the tide is right, is the view masterful in the light
and when the master looks, is not all - a tsunami of love?
What better manner of recognition lends itself to man
once a child, consumed by his own windy exuberance
defining such delight, twirling for the crash standing up?

Discovering higher dimensions exist to bring us to a halt
understanding nothing exceeds boredom quite as well.
Requires something more than reverence and willful fall.
Of timing, this present moment expires, in eternal irony.
A true man humbly begins again until converging it all.

© 92010 rjduberg

Her Fall Legend

And she was ...
and yet...
here she is...
and I am...
once, twice the man ...
in love again...
before the almighty...
absolute blindness...
reversal of fortune...
simple exchanges...
tasty kisses...
tornado chasing...
pupils flashing...
awe inspiring...
divine feminine...
mother too...
gods, her children...
madness of butter...
churned inward here...
and yet...
a shaman's question...
no better test...
living a quicker...
love eternal...
dream power...
sun and moon...
flying or floating...
her extreme heel...
heart condition...
better laughs notice...
tantra yoga...
revision impression...
prepared with binds...
free and unexhausted...
a thing to repeat...
occurring ecstatically...
beautiful divine grace...
all time sighs, naturally...
reason why deluded...
feeling insanely...
longer longing forever...
disipline of being...
perfect timing...
sweetest dreaming...
coming of autumn...
spring's perfection...
her legend...
Fall is mine.

COPYRIGHT © 10/2010 rjduberg