Answer to Jivana's question regarding the difference between male and female discussions

RE: Jivana's ... "If anyone is wondering why I ask this, I think there may be some interesting subtleties revealed about the difference in the energetics of mind driven dialogs, and feeling driven ones. Just maybe..Any thoughts about that Robert?" Well to start with, I think I just crapped my pants, LOL. Sheezuz Jivana ... does the power of your being know NO boundaries? Wow ... such a question. You know it's been a very long time since I've received such a important and powerful invitiation like this that nearly blew my noggin off. Bare with me while struggle to regain my calm and breath. 

You know, I mean to answer your question, I can't think of a greater example than what just happpened. Maybe you'd need to be here next to me to observe the distinction between being driven mentally(intelletually) in contrast to getting driven and feeling it. For sure, discussion between men rarely include silent pauses allowing a person to process felt sensation as a natural part of the discussion. I'm not saying that men don't still do this but they do not share it and they certainly don't draw attention to it. 

This brings us to what to make of the possibiity for men to properly engage their femiinity in the felt sense in discussion and relationship, and how to support it for the natural soulful liberty it affords one's being. I can imagine what is going through the minds of those men reading my words right now who make up the bulk of typical male interactiveness which could be characterized as competitive, and emotionally immature to some degree with almost every single man. Compared with women, where their discussion is punctuated continuously with certain sometimes infintesimal pauses in which focus is shifted entirely on the heart with the support and full appreciation of those women listeners present. Masculine energy does not curl up in a cuddling circle. It's potential was found in being unbreakable, unstoppable, overpowering, and noble. That's a historical perspective however I don't see much that has changed. The impulse still remains, untrained, unconscious, undifferentiated and not sublimated. The obvious results of such concentrations of masculine vs feminine energetically in discussion groups can be worked out along the characteristic dimensions as I have begun to suggest.
Part of what remains to be cleared before we evolve sexualpolitcally has to do with expectations. It's hard to imagine what precepitious condition could account for men anticipating a felt meaningful sense from his compadrades in the splitsecond pause required for the heart to breath and speak. The best I've encounterd so far in terms of an overt acknowledgement indicating that a friend of mine had "GOTTEN" a felt sense loud enough to say something about it was nevertheless constrained by a competitive context and a visual orientation. Given the modality expectation you can see how his statement, "Look at him, you can see the wheels turning inside his head." represents those cognitive channels. 

The only suggestion in support of Jivana's issue here for men would be to quietly focus over the next few days in your conversations with other men on your heart and the degree of energetic harmony being radiated within it as well as between your heart and the other's. Some of you may find this a rather impossible request, as you simply return to your dualistic rationalizations in progress. 

I do the best I can at keeping myself exposed to feminine energy and beingness because I have yet to come to any satisfactory balance within myself on this issue, but I hope I have been of some help and provided a little clarity for Jivana's issue and for the benefit of the men she is addressing.

Relating Religion to Spirtuality

There is always some extraordinary figure/teacher at the beginning of all religions. I have not studied this to be sure but I would hazard a guess that none of those teachers had anything to do with the religion which formed after their passing (so why wouldn't Buddhism be a religion?) I've never met a religion that hadn't completely distorted and corrupted the original teaching. Spirituality is something akin to the science of spirit/truth/Self/knowledge. While there is NO formal structure therefore no leader and no follower, if there is a legitimate point to spirituality then it exists squarely in our desire to explore and discover the truth about truth.

Again, Spirituality is matter of personal desire to go beyond the known and find for one's Self. Religion is really result of powers needing to co-opt the popular teaching, repackage it and sell it to the masses after issues regarding integrity are replaced by one's of obedience.

Regarding the Law of Accident, the Law of Fate, a question regarding the law of Attraction

... you take something powerful like that out of context and the next thing you know everyone MECHANICALLY ASSUMES they understand enough of it to explain exactly how it exists in their lives, when in fact they have nothing remotely the same as the source of that in the beginning.

@Colleen ~ For ordinary men and women, their lives can be said to be under the law of accident. It's only when a man becomes #4 and begins real work on his being and self-remembering that he begins to come under the law of fate in which this saying shared/quoted by Esoman becomes something reliable to consider. The law of accident could be understood then to be THE basic characteristic of ordinary men/women in which it follows that their being attracts hardly anything at all, all is mechanical, with no conscious order, and whatever is present in their being at any given moment is completely a function of the reactionary nature of their many different I's, imaginings, false personalities, etc. etc.

Once a person begins to gravitate to the work and begins to develop their being consciously, life will begin to show up more along the vein of how Eso talked about it. It's important to understand that it is here and increasingly so that if one doesn't like what one is attracting that evolved consciousness will provide a person with the energy and higher support required to change one's being if one so desires.

Now it's important to recognize here that a certain principle or wisdom seems almost to obvious to mention here, regarding the possibilities in this transformation. The wisdom is simply that one rely less and less on belief and open more and more trusting of the unknown, the mystery, and the limitlessnss which is accessible in higher states of consciousness and being. If a person is not willing to embrace the relativity required in accurately relating to the cosmos then their work will lack the necessary force and sensation to be of any real use.

Such liberation therein exists where I don't have to be judged by others regarding my story or religious narrative, especially if that narrative is rooted in separating dichotomies of a past gone era. Like the notion that if you believe Christ to be your savior, etc you will enjoy eternal life. What a foul joke that is. At least its coming to an end, soon.

Obviously, there's more to the work than simply learning more and distinct things about myself and the cosmos, but clearly that process will never end, and my contact with higher influence, divine grace, God, or whatever will only be as real as open is the space in me regarding reverence and respect for the unknown above.

A Voice Holy

The voice is never holy is it?
Lying about hearing god ...
So sad my reason, and I
Without divine counsel.
For god suffers not me
Nor anything it seems.
Being the transcendent
Completion, and perfect.

The voice speaks just lies
projecting our deep need
smart but stupid to believe
adaptation is not accidental
for an unrecognized god realm
stage where all shadows halo
can be found on christian brow.

Could faith be reasonable?
If in fact a perfect being was
possible, the best argument
is based in design of nature
reflecting GREAT DESIGNER
as source and possible creator.
Those who live in faith speak
with impunity to those awake.

Don't think my rebellion runs
easily amuck, my opposition
protesting ugly pretense of faith
is with respect to the big risk
with what seems far more real
and natural, reflected as clear
rule of mind to compute facts.

In the end, death gets last word
regarding the question we face
whether death is a real lie or not.
But faith isn’t close as an answer
And, why would it be necessary?
And how would it change things?
No, death is death, faithful or rot.

© 2004, RJDuberg

Difference of One

Imperial Beach Sky Fire

 "The true basis of religion is not belief, but intuitive experience. Intuition is the soul’s power of knowing God. To know what religion is really all about, one must know God."

And yet, all one has to do is but briefly introduce themselves again to whatever religion, (they all suffer those who believe) to verify that the basis of religion at present is belief. Intuitively, I agree without a doubt that all religious beliefs came after the fact, and in a manner of speaking represent the extent and limit man's mind has come to know in relationship to language. The process of cognition is mechanical which processes language and seeks to understand meaning through interpretation.

Ask yourself if there aren't higher and more evolved methods and ways to reach a speakers genuine meaning in his language and speaking? I say it is this intellectual process which follows listening that constructs belief, on an unconscious level, the level of that's just the way it is. If a person is not awakened to this FACT as well as empowered to develop a more robust and higher dimensional heuristic, any effort or talk of change for such a person is destined to be unrealized.

If we understand belief as representative of a mind which has not gone beyond a focus of BEING RIGHT, this shift in perspective alone will pull back the drapes enough that the real work can begin. From that point, one's mind is not operating strictly from the place of verifying by mental cross referencing backwards into the past across the matrix of mental constructs which are collectively NOT HIS but echoes and copies of ideas he's heard from someone else.

The difficulty in evolving one's consciousness here has to do with this cognition's automatic operation combined with men's identification with this noise of the mind. It has been my experience that intrinsic to the shift away from this state is the way the silence of a still mind begins to prevail as the dominant feature in one's conscious awareness. Alone with this is a transformation in one's self expression which shifts from being associative and mechanical to being a meditation in which one's words have a conscious emotional intent in which simultaneous to speaking there exists extra attention which focuses on the listening taking place. In that mix, the metric of simply being right or correct no longer covers the scale of meaning possible.

Celebration and presence, authentic being and intimate satisfaction, and one's higher self and function are found in that higher conscious state. One other important characteristic of this shift from ordinary consciousness to higher consciousness has to do with the emergence of a holistic and self-realized sense of being, one in which the person begins to consider themselves as Source of their experience fully responsible, and along with that a true integrity without which this higher state would collapse with our going back to sleep rendering us falling to an even lower state than where we were at before.

I have always felt betrayed by religion, especially Christianity. I mean you have to ask yourself if Christ was in fact an expression of the Absolute's supreme intelligence, why this issue regarding belief wasn't addressed with more eloquence and articulation. He didn't and it wasn't something that became part of the cannon, leaving the possibility of faith leading those with sufficient capacity for evolving higher consciousness in the dust, abandoned to be forgotten on history's waste heap. Surely, a truly enlightened master would have addressed this inevitability as part of his teaching. The fact that he did not, itself lends itself to view religion as indefensible in the sense of it's intuitive basis in the beginning being incomplete and hardly the divine revelation we're given to believe. 

What's missing from this golden barreling tube breaking swell with an offshore blowing towering ocean mist behind high and to the rear, is Self.

Hard to say that in other empty landscapes, unless certain tones and spatial relations are present, creating an inight into, Self.

There is nothing like having a passionate obsession with something. Guess I should feel lucky music happened to add delight for this vacation.

Healing Code

AT some point there is always a call for putting one's records of the past back together in order and well stacked.  Here is a call to an issue I have for health while I deal with ESRF. Been on dialysis for a year now. Been on a waiting list for 180 days. The road to getting a transplant done is not clearcut or simple by any stretch of the imagination. For the last 3 years I've pretty much been dominated by the wild fires in this domain of my life. But I'm finding some breathing room now and my intellectual insight and understanding is beginning to reflect some expansion and evolution.

I've got to give credit to friends in my life that matter: Stephanie, Colleen, Mom, John, Billy, Evelyn, Heidi, Trayvon, as well as my sister.


Integrity

Integrity is the shining star
blazing a path for the spiritual
to fix and maintain the joy
it is our higher self we call
May yours come to mind
so that recognition plays
front and center today
there's no time to waste.


Fighting exhaustion is not good when trying to ascend and evolve, whatever ...

Here is the repository of a new and quite significant change in my ontology. The subjectivity is still there. More than anything today was a moment when consciously relaxing that I was suddenly in the presence of an ex-girlfriend named Stephanie. And I suddenly recognized what it was about her that was so valuable to me at certain moments of vulnerability. She's got the best mom vibe I've ever witnessed.

Thanks Steph..xoxo

Some reflective composing...

Appearing arbitrary are these bounds
coming in and out of a veiled backstage
in streaming movements weaving
chaos out of order and order out of chaos.

What other possible purpose could apply
comprehending the relativity of the present
squeezing the entire flow down to a drop
and then we quench our thirst from that?

It's never enough, and how could it be?
as we try and drink our fill from a dream
while the raging torrent of the stream is
all around us, ourselves, lush fluidness.

The drip drop little squeeze was hard work
and who in their right mind can fathom
how the reverse allows for the gush of us
We're clearly machines at our core.

Nothing to build in the radiance sought
But the cost is our ability to tolerate
a friction and discomfort as we cogitate
learning how so much of life is mechanical.

The beginning is always short and small
A process that grows and grows wetter now
cooling and extinguishing the fires of hell
we replace ignorance with visions of reality.

rj

Noise in the First

The noise has to always hiss
during the greatest peak here
of changing the changing ray
where nashing grinds IT to dust.

My engine racing, wind bracing
speed blazing ... a synchronized
inside concert hall constrains
our vibrations moving infinitely.

The divine source, muse sings
a sound that lifts my heavy heart.
I am surrounded by nothing big now...
except a noisey crowd at the curve.

I expect another Goddess to know
a Crash Surprise from nowhere
on a day of days smelling of bliss
her lovely music, blessing, and grace.

1/2016 rjduberg

These Times Reached

Daily reductions, so annoying, a brutal evil it seems
lay down all your arms, and witness how little
your world pays attention to what matters, no reach
this is an insideous defeat notwithstanding irony
Shadows by ego, value to conform, entropy.  

Dig in then ... poetry asks too much I say.
In good with a serious muse, and writing love
in so many urgent and different musical ways.
Arising in a Great Symballic Crash
and a war against war, echo of irony.

These times and their overall rush is good reminisce.
while these times are specifically different
The remedy of language is in a long focus
balanced with a short one, makes us an ascendency.
Through language this portal reigns in higher consciousness.

The real entryway is hidden behind an understanding.
It isn't enough to know something or even know of it.
Yet, without such linguistic referents we're also reduced.
One begets the other, as understanding follows, so distinct.
Romantic blossoms here, tho' most fall in and down, sadly.

So easy for most not to even get this far, part of the Construct.
One success will bring a desire to make homage to "God".
This pink cloud is a spiritual distraction, highly addicting
And really of no use without extracting the higher lesson.
Never quit, never stop, know thyself - by your reach, ascend.

© 2/2014 rjduberg

Cosmological Vibration Wave Form

A lot has happened since I last wrote last. I just reviewed the Teahupoo Big Wave Rides in slow motion. Aside from the purely aesthetic visual impression one takes in, from the cosmological perspective  (defined as an integration of everything inbetween the Highest and the Lowest), the wave is a terrestial form which is elemental and on a planetary level. Compared to what we normally refer to as vibration, which we energetically feel with frequencies and magnitudes orthogonal to the next higher octave, our planet. This is an example of cosmological perspective used as a context for making inter-level connectinos. I guess what made it really special was the gravity associated with the Teahupoo wave. Along with its extreme magnitude on its cosmological level, are the ordinary interference waves which are still clearly present, except that the influence from them is infinitesimal leaving one's focus PURELY on the IDEAL being manifested TEMPORALLY (also known as Temporary).


Another instance to illustrate or add another level's fractal piece to the IDEAL can be witnessed in nuclear fission/fusion. Now there is another elemental wave form, cosmologically on a level higher than the planetary, which is our sun. YET, nevertheless, part of logic is the categorical connections, categorical meaning unique and unitary. In this case we're talking about vibration and wave forms, and I can think of no better fractal or cosmological angle than teahupoo's waves (vibrations) which belong to our planet to express difference in order of magnitude. Same thing, Vibration, can express itself quite unique different between orders of magnitude. The question then is what is it that allows us to make these abstract connections which give us leverage cosmologically? Called As Above, so as Below.

So back to your reply...  Put her words in perspective because she certainly isn't doing much contextualizing of her remarks. Why is that important? Part of the focus that is achieved by including the context for your words, just immediately means enhanced understanding and a decreased incidence of interpretative work required. Thus one speaks English as a rule here in America, and Spanish in Mexico. Ok, you say fine, as obvious as your example was isn't Love just as obvious and the proper perspective for her statements?

Well if it was, she made an awful lot of judgements about it didn't she. And, I assert dualistic reasoning is like that, in which someone creates a shadow to their presence and expression. Maybe you don't feel it, but when I was reading what she wrote, I actually felt a weight or pull from below having to do with part of the context present which is not Love but Dualism. That level of intellectual thinking and awareness, and the things she said only really matter if you're resonant with being told the way YOU ARE YOURSELF by mistake, your mistake. The truth of Love is that it exists on a higher level.

This capacity we have for our higher selves to actually meet our lower selves decently and gracefully is where all twisted knots in one's baggage get resolved and undone. That is just another way of describing non-dual awareness and thought. It's all about being with the shadow of dualism in order to integrate the opposition.

The conclusion here is hopefully not being overstated. Your Gal's words represent a mental angle in which one's relationship to love by virtue of one's expressing oneself tenatively, reflects a work in progress in search of true self-respect and sovereignty. When one finds the truth of one's sovereignty (ask me how one does that?), the language one uses UNFOLDS and like a flower blossom, is LOVE expressing ... well, the existence of true love. As often heard associated to Zen, those who don't know speak, those who know keep silent.

- Part of an email response to my friend Colleen.

Desire Realigning, by Mervyn Brady

So rein in desire, do not desire----better sunshine, more food and turn your Eros to the Soul.  

The Greeks said that Eros gives wings to Psyche (the Soul).  

I say desire and its realigning is a most potent weapon in the arsenal of the true Philosopher.  

 It is interesting to sit down and really ask, what am I doing with my Eros?  

Christian morality messed with this one and connected Eros and Desire with the outlawed sexual functions?  

William Blake makes many references to Desire, of its proper uses.  

Do not just say the words and expect something to happen.  

Tomorrow morning your machine will wake up again--- what do you desire?? 

Desire to change, see what happens.  

This is the secret…  Using the energy of Desire, to be present. 

~Mervyn J. Brady

What I have to put up with ....

The Hard Shell of Imminence


I did not want to hear
Those words about it
Inevitable but hidden away
as sure as today is tonight, but not
as day is to night, death is to me.

It has thought me alive
Not otherwise as I believe
Until now, speaking with one I love
My first thoughts wept tears of loss
Crushing the hard shell of imminence.

This is only the beginning.

© 03/25/2004, RJDuberg

Arriving Home tonight after a good 5 mile cycle

Home Court Advatage - Imperial Beach

POETRY: Balance

Balance Where the song's beat is both fun and simple in practice making conscious a continuum range's spectral in-flux, proceedings are exercises in error recovery that's valid where there's no doubt that your head is calm and still. The essence of this infinity mirrors eternity, space/energy Why I ever thought that still point of thought, was poetry had more to do with how little life seemed aware, messy for such a singleminded obsessive focus over the details. 11/2013, rjd

POETRY: Listening in

Listening In

Ignorance obscures divine will
Necessary for integrity, honor, 
Ordinary world, machine culture - designed to stop Will - descendent path
seeing us playing the game, 
to Will, playing the game through us. 

Gurdjieff, a proud ancestor, he says
in fresh understandable jargon, his words
My Numen Will is a space of sovereignty

Free from the Exoteric 
a subject just as important
Study of delusion 
& spells of subservience

Hostile Anarchy still the option 
to avoid by all means possible
if it means delaying evolution
until... the next evolution
then…

My Girl Warrior - Jones

Don't Let the Warm Fuzzy Coat fool ya!

Waiting for Shiva

Have you ever woken up in the morning feeling empty—without the energy to make decisions or carry out a plan you made last night?
 
This morning I slept late for no reason, couldn’t get myself going, not even to meditate or do qigong. It was only after I dragged myself through breakfast and set off to the market that I realized my problem wasn’t with the body. It was with the heart. I was empty of feeling, perhaps depressed. That’s a very serious situation, a life challenge like no other. Who can function without feeling?
 
Happily, my state of tension and fear was eased once I recognized what was wrong. I felt somewhat better, even as the sense of emptiness remained. What to do? I went about my morning duties in a listening mode, inquiring of my heart what the rest of me could do to help.
 
In such a situation, an analogy can be very helpful: From the Hindu point of view, I am Shakti here below, waiting for Shiva. When will he come to waken her, curled up asleep at the center of my Being? When will her heart be gladdened by a ray from his sun, just what is needed to illumine and warm my heart? No idea. But, for the moment I know my job—to wait like a hunter for the slightest indication of his appearance.
 
How do you wait like a hunter? Many years ago, I heard a distinguished Frenchman, Henri Tracol, explain it to an unhappy man who didn’t like waiting. Perhaps the man was empty or depressed like me today. Perhaps he simply longed to understand why, although he’d spent many years trying to make a new beginning, to get rid of the things in himself he didn’t like, the change he longed for just didn’t come about. M. Tracol sat looking at him thoughtfully for a few minutes. Then he said: “You must wait. But you can wait like a hunter. A hunter will stand behind a tree or sit behind a rock for many hours, as still as the landscape, waiting for his prey to appear.”
 
Not so easy! To wait like a hunter I must learn to sit very still, to take control of my squirming or lax body so it can be still and yet very alive, ready to act instantly when the time comes. Knowing myself as I do, it sounds like that could take a long time! But the time won’t be wasted if it’s in the name of my deepest wish: The wish to know myself and to grow into the person I was born to be.
 
How to wait in front of the Unknown? What can I do, face to face with illness or loss or the Next Big Step in my life. While such challenges can give me opportunity for musing, for thinking about stuff, thinking is not enough. Unless I’m alert, like the six wise virgins, I may miss the chance to connect with a new thread in the fabric of my life.
 
We do a lot of waiting. Life’s like that. I wait for the bus or train, for the boss to give me a raise, for my own true love to find me, for the end of something that may actually be a new beginning. Which job should I take, which road should I travel to get where I think I want to go? Where do I really want to go?
 
And we often wait in the darkness. For help. For light. There’s a deep need to understand what’s going on in the world and in myself. Why are things the way they are? Why do terrible things happen to those I love? Why do good people do bad things? What should I do next?
 
I have a choice. Waiting can be boring or fraught with possibilities, it’s up to me to wait like a hunter. Awakening to the presence of Shiva might bring me a new approach to an old task, a new response instead of my habitual reactions, or a tentative new openness to whatever may come.
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