~sanguine sang the words i love you

Everybody wants to hear
the sound that loves them
music for one, transcends
when the heart enjoys
resonation  deep in -
A medallion of calm
turns chaos to contrast
the celebration of life.

Nov 2010

Rally Against My Insanity

*dedicated to John Stewart's Rally for A Return of Sanity, 10/30/2010

To issues of complexity, is something thus contrived?
I look at the ocean and see complexity truly alive.
I cannot concur a self so responsive, while I aspire
No is a facade I present to balance a chaotic rivalry
between knowing and believing, real and imagined.

For just this moment, if I may cast a new self to make
A real no for a stand, against my negative expression
where I halt steps to my ill-conceived myriad manners,
like so many recursions over simplicity reduces friction.
Sing against mechanical knowing of what will proceed.

Perhaps no better a place exists to purchase a cliche
just this once, for a successful rally against negativity
having surrendered to a self lacking the eloquence
to reject the incompetent manner of a self negated
by the twisted false self, self serving act of hypocrisy.

How I manage all defeat by self prophecy, is less -
than my own untoward rejection of good, by fuzz
I offer a homage to humor's value in this process
and understand other's laughter provides focus.
"Blah, blah, blah," I said missively, "or something."

I now rally against that innocence as contrivance
And note the cliche of truth equated to something
and my sincerity juxtaposed to my teacher's dismay
in a class laughing uproaringly, skipping the question.
Pride, rebelliousness, vanity - conspired to make me.

The tension my manners, innocently suggesting, are
a discordant state of mind seeking a quest against
true answers, true questions, and smart relevance.
Pure vanity and pride matter if we lack a response.
And rallying, a question asks how to restore sanity.

Let this moment rally against din of false begging
where innocuous logic using innocuous notions
stated simply as something, raise a veil of derision
instead of being honest about asking a question
where no right answer begs us yet, to stumble on.

Understanding Degrees of Difficulty

With respect to Gurdjieff's view of man, that part of us that believes we can "do" is false, and yet due to our mechanical identification with it we not only protect it with all of our being, we are powerless to progress in the work of self remembering. And we respond negatively to our feelings of effort which do not achieve any penetration, insight, or result. On top of all this, this false self based on belief and imagination rather than truth, resists any effort to verify the truth about being, beginning with the idea that in our current state we cannot do. What this false personality creates is a reasonable saga to explain why things happen the way they do. This brings us to another layer of difficulty having to do with imagination once again insofar as given objective knowledge and even some degree of insight false personality grabs ahold of the idea and stops any and all action which might assimilate that knowledge, effectively shutting down and negating the possibilities that were present. It's as if we are mechanically programmed to accept the idea without verifying it, like being told where the door outside is without actually stepping through it - when the main objective is to go outside!!