~Sagacious Orator

The speaker's stage set
upon the cue
the veiled consciousness
freed of itself.

The intent to oration
is a bizarre contraction
forever the sound confuses
ignorance, revealing a void.

And he spoke a line, meant
to connect a relative scale.
He spoke not for love, now
in service to please, all Being.

He was fond, and yet, loved
though others found him mad.
Those who were silent nearby
began to realize themselves.

Stunning Mystery of Life

How wonderfully impossible to describe is the actuality of this PLACE we call Earth where we live in my waking thought and awareness tonight. Whisper, shhhhh, for here she is right here, and that perfume makes me cry. No lover, no girl, no goddess I've ever laid eyes on matches the immensity of beauty and love which lives directly under my feet and unlike stories of creators, my true gratitude rests and is for her, this place in the cosmos for which my life, what there is left of it, has always been unable to fathom even as it pervades every pore and dimension of my being.

~sanguine sang the words i love you

Everybody wants to hear
the sound that loves them
music for one, transcends
when the heart enjoys
resonation  deep in -
A medallion of calm
turns chaos to contrast
the celebration of life.

Nov 2010

Rally Against My Insanity

*dedicated to John Stewart's Rally for A Return of Sanity, 10/30/2010

To issues of complexity, is something thus contrived?
I look at the ocean and see complexity truly alive.
I cannot concur a self so responsive, while I aspire
No is a facade I present to balance a chaotic rivalry
between knowing and believing, real and imagined.

For just this moment, if I may cast a new self to make
A real no for a stand, against my negative expression
where I halt steps to my ill-conceived myriad manners,
like so many recursions over simplicity reduces friction.
Sing against mechanical knowing of what will proceed.

Perhaps no better a place exists to purchase a cliche
just this once, for a successful rally against negativity
having surrendered to a self lacking the eloquence
to reject the incompetent manner of a self negated
by the twisted false self, self serving act of hypocrisy.

How I manage all defeat by self prophecy, is less -
than my own untoward rejection of good, by fuzz
I offer a homage to humor's value in this process
and understand other's laughter provides focus.
"Blah, blah, blah," I said missively, "or something."

I now rally against that innocence as contrivance
And note the cliche of truth equated to something
and my sincerity juxtaposed to my teacher's dismay
in a class laughing uproaringly, skipping the question.
Pride, rebelliousness, vanity - conspired to make me.

The tension my manners, innocently suggesting, are
a discordant state of mind seeking a quest against
true answers, true questions, and smart relevance.
Pure vanity and pride matter if we lack a response.
And rallying, a question asks how to restore sanity.

Let this moment rally against din of false begging
where innocuous logic using innocuous notions
stated simply as something, raise a veil of derision
instead of being honest about asking a question
where no right answer begs us yet, to stumble on.

Understanding Degrees of Difficulty

With respect to Gurdjieff's view of man, that part of us that believes we can "do" is false, and yet due to our mechanical identification with it we not only protect it with all of our being, we are powerless to progress in the work of self remembering. And we respond negatively to our feelings of effort which do not achieve any penetration, insight, or result. On top of all this, this false self based on belief and imagination rather than truth, resists any effort to verify the truth about being, beginning with the idea that in our current state we cannot do. What this false personality creates is a reasonable saga to explain why things happen the way they do. This brings us to another layer of difficulty having to do with imagination once again insofar as given objective knowledge and even some degree of insight false personality grabs ahold of the idea and stops any and all action which might assimilate that knowledge, effectively shutting down and negating the possibilities that were present. It's as if we are mechanically programmed to accept the idea without verifying it, like being told where the door outside is without actually stepping through it - when the main objective is to go outside!!

~The Case for OpenSource Code on the internet

Works for me. The open condition will invite a better tone to the across the "netboard," which is always preferrable to me when especially when I'm seem like I'm in a slide.

We decide the reasons why.
That always entails a justice
that nails eloquent, we quote
our own brand answers, on wind
It's out there stalking, and waits
there's is a trick, Carlos said...
Funny guy, one time serious stu
as I became my own, I laughed
hard, in roll jerking my head too

still not convinced of a difference
to the wave of the hand, by grace
to a voice, speaks a unique name
you call it, This foolish little fiasco
we both know what peeps-seem
I can't tell you what ain't real-see
That's how I talk about that reality

I'll never forget the young times
a boundary moving us through.
Be that as it may, jack...
There's a forested mountain
you can still find your way back
if you're willing to climb a mass
of rock, past more mass on it
way up, where there's wind
for the joy and strangeness
incomparable listening makes
especially of the countryside.

So many women, (then) one day
and that was that for the girls
Like beautiful thought, came
ecstatically, always orgasmic
Waking up the young of yum

Who needs to check this out is...
Dave Matthews with is find guitar
And a butt like mine, spanked
over the time spent - I ran there.
Always its mis-communication...
never, is anyone on time, here.

The more important ghost echos
falling music in my soul loudly
and all around my head, not fun
my ass takes the biggest beat
must be why I get so confused
ending up at the casino then
But I'd swear she's right there
laying on her side, smiling wide
Just the darkness of shadows
The travel can be harrowing

Now Emerson wants the eloquent
to say that people are quoters
at heart their identity is absent
and indicates men are asleep
Trying to work in a segue for that
and not upset awake strangers
I'm reading Emerson for fun
and consult with a number
of potential goddess models
and nothing more eloquent
than the tricky Shamans today.

I got miles to go on that
before I can get out da way
Take that last slide in sand

That's where she'll be
if she's not playing something
needing better resonation
instrumentals she allways loved
In the beginning, it was chaos
nonstop madness, pure hor-

Here's to those that putt it
There's nothing like a round
to get the juices flowing
But, working at a course
there are so many calls
made to fit for Emerson

~View of the Plain

View of the Plain

Above the Plain, there's a special space, Emersonian
The argument is rather a lame duck, brutal nevertheless
I'd rather give more room to having fun writing my poetry
But the truth is far more nebulous, causing little in interest
What is real for Emerson regarding words, asks the question
Even while we may voluntarily investigate these paradigms
what he makes specific is the involuntary part of perception
forming a common parlance to a hidden entrance of the soul.

It's very hard to see, especially since any clarity is less than nice
the resulting 'event' seeks to exit life's flow with extreme predjudice
rather unconsciously, due to past reactions of trauma, add as a fact
that there's plethora of variation to what all that is non-voluntary
including a special complex case of active will, the one exception
The importance of this kind of socially based knowing is provocation
Agitating a reader in a just way which calls something important
in the reader, into question, not to invalidate but compel a living answer.

Just playing around with poetry, exploring Emerson's genius is arousing
I can post this View of the Plain as a introductory poem for the time being
Though it doesn't impress me with approaching Emerson's level of tension.
The thing for Emerson seems to be the quality of provocation made for us.
Gonna try and spark a little progressive segue in smooth transitions in here
for now....

© 102010 rjduberg

note: First in a series of poems that will span my current reading of Lysaker's book about Emerson and the notion of Self-Culture

~Convergence of Child

When the tide is right, is the view masterful in the light
and when the master looks, is not all - a tsunami of love?
What better manner of recognition lends itself to man
once a child, consumed by his own windy exuberance
defining such delight, twirling for the crash standing up?

Discovering higher dimensions exist to bring us to a halt
understanding nothing exceeds boredom quite as well.
Requires something more than reverence and willful fall.
Of timing, this present moment expires, in eternal irony.
A true man humbly begins again until converging it all.

© 92010 rjduberg

Her Fall Legend

And she was ...
and yet...
here she is...
and I am...
once, twice the man ...
in love again...
before the almighty...
absolute blindness...
reversal of fortune...
simple exchanges...
tasty kisses...
tornado chasing...
pupils flashing...
awe inspiring...
divine feminine...
mother too...
gods, her children...
madness of butter...
churned inward here...
and yet...
a shaman's question...
no better test...
living a quicker...
love eternal...
dream power...
sun and moon...
flying or floating...
her extreme heel...
heart condition...
better laughs notice...
tantra yoga...
revision impression...
prepared with binds...
free and unexhausted...
a thing to repeat...
occurring ecstatically...
beautiful divine grace...
all time sighs, naturally...
reason why deluded...
feeling insanely...
longer longing forever...
disipline of being...
perfect timing...
sweetest dreaming...
coming of autumn...
spring's perfection...
her legend...
Fall is mine.

COPYRIGHT © 10/2010 rjduberg

Groundhog Rhyme

I thought of you reading there, ahhhh...
So intelligent, sensitive, and kind
Anticipating another merry go round
No doubt, I've misplaced the notices
by those unwilling to hurl over my furls
too often closer to bovine cud than not.

There I was on the pristine bower looking
Your words - all - make my virtue a pleasure
Hit or miss you know, I do remember times
when I wrote in the zone of poetry read,
I adore those poets with disipline to write.
Even tonight, I've managed to kill a bear
while getting bit by the nastiest skeeters.

I could pray for talent entirely natural
allowing me to transmit unbound beauty
in poetry, from just looking at this nature.
And, I admit the thought arose too, for not.
I have learned not to mess with sources
for any reason, preferring purity of mind.

And do not bother with feeling grateful
about how I spared you your upchuck
by writing from inside a genre just read
instead of slamming other words badly
It's still the greatest exhaustion in my life
these sketchy rhymes beat me at times.

© 92010 rjduberg

To be or not to be...

This is the only way anyone can frame the question of truth (in the beginning)? Beyond this requires a level of heroism that is easy to spot but rare enough to challenge the status quo, and certain to raise new lessons for one's life. That can't I dare say ever have been a pleasant experience.

We all choose how we respond to life freely. Any denial can be overcome with a balanced attitude and humor. Desire matters first before anything else.

Dedicated to Sons whose mothers recently passed, being older doth suck.

Heart of Bliss

Bliss Today

Amidst all the normal noise
destroying harmony's place
sits our sleeping status quo
in disgrace at a street corner
while life is a flowing constant.

What began with that, expanded in volume to surround the rest - I guess...
I began now to ask about what that feeling would look like, made to sound...
I was watching a growth of magnitude, sure that this universe was feeling, now
returning me in color of newest green straight from my inner joy's celebration
- - to hear more
everything possible became mine and within no time my emotion buzzed
a glorious amplification of a harmony oin vibrations rising within WHAT?
- - Now this

Now that, and both as one, time and again, a flourish comes

a white hot flame putting all of allnesses in synchronized punch

never failing to leave me something of a fried mess of a bliss

- -  thinking what happened in my world just then thus goes unseen

I never thought it would come like this, being alone for the heart of bliss.

COPYRIGHT © 82010 rjduberg

Hostage Trip of Hell

This body is under an attack of ghostly terror
Already unreliable for demands of attention
evolving, accelerating, of rapid illumination
my body is groundhog, drowning is scripted.

The flesh makes procreation matter to death
and while becoming conscious of freedom
my flesh's self starts to search farther beyond
never succeeding. 'Out there' spoons no exit.

What desire understands, means to vanish
itself with self, from the endless yarn of cycle
Now it only creeps alongside fleshling waddle.
Mind's footing so tenuous by All's distraction.

A tactical genius is required to reset the spirit
forces a plenty, which together might render
another plane of consciousness empowered
within self's metaphysics, neutralizing tension.

Present to the world, I feel the force of sense.
The logic of my flesh defines precise function
that is expressed with mechanical clockwork
along gradients of purpose, effectively acted.

That's not you, nor me, all withal forgetting,
leaving vast debris of hubris, our night-falling.
Next time will be worse for the quick fixes.
Possibilities remain, silent still to illumine...

Oh, but such fantasy with this body, mine.
Here I sit having the sense time runs thin
knowing its my flesh's subjective view
on a trip even less desirable for its hell.

COPYRIGHT © 82010 rjduberg

Those Heralding Grace, A Toast

Those Heralding Grace, A Toast

Upon the land he found his feelings wrenched
tight in a knot, And everyone clammoring to be
heard next, driven by need only violence becomes
this path forsaking love the mystery has the knot
by the throat and then, some make a point well
for right, that no harm shall come to them, we honor -
such as custodians of prime nature, modern illumined.

For with them our humanity's destiny endures, chance
cannot penetrate or ruin the seed of love in harvest.
We are one here, conscious of this higher vibration
a state of being caused from the absolute above,
Remains eternally what it is, never born, nor reborn
never falling simply risen by final inward recognition
and for a lucky few, objective knowledge spoken.

Look how a mind falsely represents its living owner
by attending outwards and presenting that, names
interacting with things, made up with shadow crests
when the who deserves name in sacred utterance
of a spirit incarnate, free and real, conveying soul.

Once too arrogant to speak softly over what not...
I take refuge now in listening to truth sung by love
even while I keep furling my main sheet as a vent.
Alone, I now toast those unparalleled custodians
who may never understand what heroes they are.
I raise my glass to love and them. heralding grace.

© 82010 rjduberg

The Eagle, Cage, and Magic Karma

Appearing upon eastern firmament
reflecting western sunset, blazing tall
wrought majestic by chance encounter
days thence and face to face shudders
with what was days earlier hailed eaglet
now stood two terrible feet tall before me

Silent, still, shocking, a witness to my yelp
lifting in turn 6 feet wide carried invisibly
the pulse of her wings, a slow nonsense
her size continuing to diminish until lost
while I sat there unable to breathe this
in my little cart surrounded in a cage

What possibility makes karmic vintage
the most beautiful poetry in fullest sense
where turnabout turns out tears jubilant?
I beheld my limitations on that fence
Grown up - a eaglet's lift and soar into sky.
The beauty of spirit freed, to soar out there.

© 82010 rjduberg

New Grips

Too fresh and young goes right for the throat and bruises.
Tonight, I thought of a new schizophrenia, added to my list
the old fav, a rite of passage, mental illness on borderline.
I was never so bored then, now keep list of craziest juices.
When Ricky G invented lying, and Jennifer G picked him
over Lowe, more than some heat - generated by that girl.
Matthew's is Some Devil; a genius; he is Shiva blessed.

I was shocked to find myself resisting avalanche of spirit
so late in life, while I spend my time pretending otherwise.
It's not the white light, blindness, dumbass, or the witness -
falling ever behind, it's how long the flight - before my time.
Nevermind what I want, Santa got lost - in this impossibility.
After awhile, learning to be patient makes no difference.

You had me before? I died and came back in some fog?
asleep, let the world imprint something external of fashion?
Now invisible, worn smooth, the stubborness still has grip.
Afraid of what letting go will bring forth, turns up the heat.
You take some extra special inhales, humming; for today
new color coordinated, cutting-edge grips, have arrived.

© 82010 rjduberg

Tonight we were both right?

It's so nice when you can march with an adversary and walk away feeling that both of you honored the process, somehow? Huh? I don't know how that happens except that there's a special quality of our listening that accounts for the essence.

And ... maybe a few other influences I won't mention.

One I really am developing a PRE-Passion for is a new hallucinogen which purportedly can recreate a fully realized state of consciousness induction, by chemical... I hear the high lasts 20-40 mins. with no negative side effects under solid normal. And you experience infinity behind the cessation of one's EGO. What that is basically saying is that they have learned how to target LSD on that area of the brain which tunes to your EGO, that is until I read how much money a trip costs. I didn't even see where to start, I just know that whatever could be found is present right here, right now.

Made me sad that I wasn't interested in giving John a hug when he asked, the heart missing for something like that. Some bitch gave me that scar.

Rest of day was spent rhapsodic, in divine reaches, and now the wind is calm. For awhile, I was reverberating with memories of the most fragrant and exciting perfumes my girlfriends and a bunch of other women I chased as well, wore. Then there was this really nice expansion into various other but far different kinds of associated events which were no less for the satisfying, like wet newly mown grass in the morning mixed young sweat from a team on the gridline.

There's really nothing more important than translating vibrations of mind into whole body and whole being understanding. Well, let's just say I've been passionately expressing myself, with an understandably intense effort, and transcendence, easy and ripe. I've got the catalog backlogged.

Lastly, a shift in visionary thinking also took place although unintended it really seems unexpendable and necessary to reach a higher level of consciousness. I was musing again on a Hero King ethos reflection by social design. There's another hidden dimension there to the paradox of humanity's current dimensional status agreed to on bigger scale be only a beginning. Just starting, where we are going, invisible to what? how? for how long?

And then there was the death wish that popped up, scaring me a bit but just another realization and expression of my self, or maybe hints from above. As I was saying, the most important part of today was feeling the appropriate relationship between higher and lower and HOW it related to me and vice versa for sure.

Just thinking how little I want to know I guess, and the flow from up their is SO intense and constant and diversified, making feel like such a fool. Naturally speaking of course, I'm really HerO KinG incarnate - haha.

And now, I'm beginning yet another yoga. Is it a next step a higher possibility,  a greater process with greater proimse? Yes. The Book of Secrets will take me 112 steps to be more precise <vbs>.

Retrospect, shows me how much better a simple playlist shared and enjoyed can be when its new and somebody's creme de la creme. Anyway ...

Groovier Grabbing

My goober goosey gladdens in gracey giggle that tingles.
Hymnally, the goopier rant gains the glam of chanting jingle.
The delight of breathing is giddily gobby with the gushy vibe.
Going gimpy, I bestow ghostly glow, groovier, sweet feelings.

© 82010 rjduberg

Transit of Delight

Transit of Bliss From the High

Standing on the dock in this arriving mess
without waiting captain, a sea waits wide.
Inward, ocean horizons my soul a compass
for the seafare, a sloop made for my father
his eternal rest left it high and adrift, a cloud
in my sky of dreams, a quest for there.

This metaphoric seduction costs me pretty
a balance lost against the external grinds.
Disables, rescinds, cancels, and otherwise
ties a dream of freedom in dirge at dock.
Command expresses external axis to act
in labels moving to response, by and by.

Thus everything belonging to the present
including truth, energy, beauty, beings =
are immune to the clinging of command.
Poetry itself, language manifestly inward
requires a muse that transcends its world
where order of function thrives, as a rule.

My present furls on the dock of my transit
enough I reckon, to satisfy one afternoon.
I'm on an expedition to vibrating present
Where what comes from higher sources
is kept consciously so, never lost below.
My unfurled delight sails a windless wind.

I ask only for natural harmonic continuity.
Look for me playing on a big wave, cresting.
The best shine radiates a cleared deck.
A good sailor makes his art the best of now
Where consciousness of higher and lower
allows higher influence a blissful sanctuary .

© 8/2010 rjduberg

The Tantric Mongoose

Women need clarification, according to Shantam Nityama (Mongoose), from men. This requires men to be in touch with the streets and to complete their relationship with mom. This means loving one's own energy without compromise, not dumbing down, or invalidating. ... 
I like this teacher's focus and his protege SashaCobra as well.

Electricity (positive-male) needs to be balanced with magnetic (negative). Male and Female is just another way of representing this.

We know fogs

We know fog's about color inhibition
the damp vapor is a din to light
black and white gradient unfolds
without muse, mystery, or wonder
just the oscillating echo of a past
along with random waves of time.

You'll find it often at ocean's foot.

8/2010, rjduberg


to recognize force, being plays

switching channels on the fly
until letting it all hang out says

this moment, this day, pays...

with a glow that sweats love
and this gift of paradox slays
what once thought itself Self
for consciousness of the real

and stumble mumbles asking
what is the force of the force
I live?

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

Laughter Dancing

Dancing this morn more bursty than flowing
Coital pop, flaming hot, grinds peak and stop
So quick, so loud, so deep, so wild the flame
I cannot speak of it, nothing remains of it
Except for my breath that smokes and smells

To witness in another unseen moving power
continues to escape unmindful attention
confuse those working with sincere aplomb
while being celebrated by the rhapsodial
also known as the dancing madmen of old

enlightened mind at rest, laughter dances.

© 6/2010 rjduberg

Fragmentation a Syndrome of Sleep and a Bitch

I'm counting on most not reading beyond the title of this entry post. The real story is that in men I don't find fragmentation the same way I do in Women who bitch. Men are more apt to whine or quite often resistance across the board makes the whole of them asses. The problem is just as much an issue with women but not spoken about with as much tolerance. Women don't tolerate other women or themselves speaking about fragmented women going over the top when it comes to behaving decently.

Their negativity exists in their having killed the segue in their intellect.

Non-fragmentation can mimic this condition when the woman is anti-partriarchal (every woman by default who never experienced one positive male role model growing up in life ). This leaves lacking precisely that kind of function in her being which men are gravitational at intellect. Beginning with the simple make wrong act or role in the simplest mind and ending with literary masterpieces transcending whatever genre they manifested evolution in. With the grey inbetween filled with intellect of such color along the gradient going from black and white through (infinity -1) colors.

Understanding how math relates to language for instance is a question of intellect which would never be found fragmented, assinine, asleep, bitchy, unkind, or otherwise insensitive. Actually stepping it up a level to transrational thinking, in observing how Math grew out of being an thus it's dialect might be called Being.

In the flip side of this, using words for their mathematical principles and relevant structure objectified in symbols. But words, can represent infinity in a way perhaps only a shadow at this point but something which mathematical computation breaks down when articulating the relation. The equals sign means relation however infinity = nothing in classical math which quantifies. In order to fully understand how language can communicate to a mind still ignorant that dimension of experience that relates to infinity, the shadow of words ie math, must be placed at the floor, b&W and fragmented. This involves our being as I've already suggested, when I made gender an issue for distinction. In our being, ignorance is controversial, the main issue for those a step up from being complete asleep, that rise in consciousness reflects in parallel and encompassing one's being. Leaping ahead to the point then ...

Almost a ceiling, which itself remains objective consciousness for me, being able to link parallel perspectives on present circumstances is a question I was in earlier tonight, before the pressure of corresponding became dominant.

My insights tonight were inspired by the recognition that placing spirituality before and above anything else dimensionally to one's being, removes all attachments and connections to the floor. Once one frees oneself from anykind of static relationship to themselves, one is able to know their spiritual possibilities and start actualizing their potential. One is not free however to respond to freedom by increasing one's ego.

Today, I observed myself chasing self satisfaction and saw the ego for what it was. Dreadfully seductive and the site of expectation. Such is the nature of all expectations, that they are really just one of a number of pillars holding up the ideal which was the seed of our indiviuality and the extent of our belief in it. While this could be called the Psychological dimension of our being, distinct from Spiritual, there is a fundamental principle regarding decency of behavior which correlates in the Spiritual. It is a pillar because it is much more than this or that but achieves appropriateness in relationship to present circumstances and conditions. These words all have a dynamic operational bias and that bias is relative with the balance between almost all static and all dynamic makes sense when one integrates physical correlates.

At any rate...the question right now is whether or not enlightenment which is universal and absolute can be articulated without the disclaimer regarding words having significant relativity yet in our being to succeed in that articulation?

Dust Up

This morning found me slopping out a Dust Up, or at least that's what I call a list of a principle remix of my personal illumination, something like a rolling integral status check (from a sometime somewhat, to this right now) ...

Question of Effort (A daily renewal)
This is a call to the heart of the heart of life itself and making today successful for being fully lived, consciously evolving.
Call of Creation (Muses)
Attention needed and maintained for Creativity as an Evocative Response. Ask and ye shall receive. Be careful of what you ask for.
Music of the Spheres (Interactive Harmony)
The attention needed to allow mechanism (of self) optimum evolutionary capacity, expressed through a musical quality that is a harmonic rifting of spheres.
Rim Dancing (Celebrating a Good Wash)
Unless the systemic mechanism is not CLEANED in goodness of emptiness, itself a simple but exact routine, potential liberation will not manifest. To this end we MetaRecurse the process by having fun, removing negativity from action of cleaning that results in more PROPER routine separations of byproduct from our energetic transformations. Thus, sitting on a throne, evolves; with the Crown dancing on the Rim (of the cosmic toilet bowl! Pow)
Kissing Insight (Social Values of Spirit)
Something higher graces every moment, is present, and is the bliss of self remembering
Translating (Understanding Whispers in the Wind)
Unawakened consciousness expresses a overflowing teacup of piss, start to finish. Intuition or awakened consciousness expressing divine truth is same process only shifted with the source being an emptiness from which the unmanifest unfolds its diversity with higher consciousness voicing its unity.
Vision (Destiny's Rep)
Unfolding personally, this is a physical marker, some make into a crest. And then later, as the ego is replaced with higher service, this banner may include associated icons which are emblematic for each group vision one embraces in life
Relativity (Cosmological Order, Priority, Higher vs Lower)
As the captain of your soul, the quality of your ship's crew involves an economy of their efforts in exchange for progress on the open sea and their quality of life or health maintained and praise for their sacrafice. We come together in order to share a higher possibility of being otherwise any old ramjet with half a tank would do. Thus, what is relative retains our capacity for reverence and the priviledge this is. Once lost, the door is open for misery, and she will walk in before you notice it is now too late. The confident have faith that at every moment regardless of illusionary karmic vicissitude there exists a higher choice we can activate evolution with, sometimes layered with a shell of detached non-identification, called this too shall pass, with dynamic stillness allowing relativity to be viewed directly.
Question of Expansion (Vertical Movement)
Kundalini Yoga suffices to answer. I once caught a beautiful moment of this Vision with my camera, in the sky above as a lone contrail in an otherwise empty blue sky which had transformed figuratively into two serpents facing each other uncoiled. Really, this is bringing your future unfoldment into the timeless presence of your divine now consciously recognizing the process. One cannot avoid the shock of each cycle, often less a giggle for the bite. Simplified, it is a question of letting go, releasing one's grasp, eventually releasing all fear, keeping one's attention here active and the process high in priority for how it relates to vision, and I pray our liberation.
History(Teaching of Stops)
Unconsciously or not, descending or not, life is a movement from here to there, with certain exceptions in which as I so fondly love to quote someone who remains like gravity for me about this, "...you can't get there from here." How, why, where, and when does this happen? Integrating this lesson is to complete the Transcendental in this life of perpetuity.

Epilogue
This is a dust up of the timeless expression in my attention today. Is this too much to ask you to understand or otherwise desire too? I recognize there is unavoidable resistance of this nature and I appreciate it though I challenge this by inviting you to let me exchange (this) mine for yours. That's how we like to roll in a rift of poetic slamming anyway. Are you game?

For Understanding

Over the last 13 years since brushing death with congestive heart failure, I have consciously turned to poetry as a therapy when my broken heart sorrow was too much to bare. My muse has been such a divine gift, you don't find at the corner market, and nothing in the world has anything to say either. The gift is received within and desires to inspire an ultimate action. This action is blessed by the muse for understanding what needs your attention regardless. The choice to act is not an issue to muse but rather a constant call one's muse steps in like some overseas long distance operator. And, while I can describe specific effects that happen to quicken my vibration and spontaneous connections relevant and energizing as the muse moves within, I'm finally coming to a place of calm in which my attention is turning even further beyond what muses understand. There's really only gratitude for what grace and blessing I have already been given in this sense as I feel nothing but happiness knowing my muse stands here ready to evolve as well.

My muse has made me so giddy and kinetic, I often feel unequal to her charm and power. And as my own path evolves beyond self expression into self remembering, I am not too sure how to say the love I feel for what has given me so much insight throughout my life, because that love is aboslute and nothing spoken or known can express what it means that forever means more than ever will ever be and after. What I feel for now might help is just a little attention kept on a tune, a song sung about how beautiful a muse is - a call to higher calling.

~ The Blind Word

One morn I rose and looked upon the world,
"Have I been blind until this hour" I said.

Announced, declared, original copies presume
to a repetitious brew, aligned with flow so special
every rhetorical, historical, relevance queues culture
of an ordered feeling of confidence in knowledge.

As language recombines subjective memories,
the calculus strips the juice leaving mass illusion.
Does anyone know who to blame for this loss
where being awake is unoriginal, so mediocre?

Kung Fu Panda knew a blank scroll for his due
It was your authority of assumption to mention
that made Dragon Warrior a manifest illusion.
Still Panda original, our hearts retained delight

Forwhatis eternally original?

Mistaken Panda's secret lesson in hour, profound
feigned in poetic tribune, achieved in your muse
that little colorful swirl in the flow, fluidly balanced
made a drop of word burn, unblinding presence.

© 7/2010 rjduberg

...Taste the Divine

5...Taste the Divine

Once you separate enough to choose the wine
with the knowledge you earned, in the grind. Learn
depths, escape traps, feed the kind, love, the pain...
Invent yourself, the sublime, the surreal, synchronize.
Remember everything radiates a consuming flame.
Seek eternity within, enter, have courage, a heart.
If we never meet in person, keep trying - love.

When Irishmen Play Golf...

In 2010, G McDowell, won the USOPEN at Pebble Beach. It was amazing to watch. Imagine the joy at seeing your very small community's champion dominate the world, in a match where nature gets the leading role?

It was enough of a charge, that the usual drama I hear during the day from others lost its footing and place, and mattered least of all. Not too say there wasn't a lot of shouting about it, but that's the beauty of writing, not that I and advocate text, but since texting for decades already, I know when and when not to is how to roll.

The point of vibrational evolutionary acuity has got the stage.

Jivana finally delivered a rough draft of her narrative, and now as if the drama couldn't have gotten any bigger watching the USOPEN, I have a formal crit against my drama...and I'm supposed to do what?        haha  ... having fun in the sand in Imperial Beach and now I'm smarmy somehow ... hmmmm?

I guess I just have too much fun for some. And for the rest, I'm sorry if I come across outraged, mad, odd or what...

... In Blinks

4 So much matters,
the clogs of life, hike a homey
his cost for high, astronautic
no comps on this level
his walk up starts
before sunrise
make a Jesus
in blinks.

copyright © 6/2010 rjduberg

... Ignorance Unground

3 So much matters, life clogs a homey's high here
no focus and our intellectual reasons collapse
focus of flatland, I say; to the fellows of the hordes
prepare n pay for cliff notes, all the time, or fail
while i disappear behind a veil you think is noise
even as many play this longfast i know, unseen
when you remember yourself totally new, a state
where everything plays a part with parts
rhetoricizing, at least twice, or more
time stops in play of quantum classic
Intellect of scale is only access
to all probability...

Conserving one's energy in reverse induction
and essence of notion is that time is countable
in the same way diversity, ultimately manifests.
Without being able to understand man misses
integrity of his relativity to the purpose unseen.

Ways and means we find, in time, not within
Calculus moves mind to infinity and eternity
maybe exists, perhaps, mistakes made here?
Most mistakes happen in parallel, to alertness
It is no mistake that the less you listen a ...
Having fun depends on knowing cosmos
and being a sun doesn't limit evolution,
unlike suggestion intellect retards, witcha
though oblivious will NOT believe, logic
saves time, including all possibility, cognition
simplified, no conflict, conscious ma(r)king
not desire alone, does ignorance ungrind.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

Note: Can you imagine a real goddess and being unable to live your life? Funny how it happens all the time, badly acted, in dreams, people act this way and are NOT awake while some get phase to awake ... punk called 911, said The future blightest, gonna kill myself, of open insanity" 911 asks what band? The Doors, said the punk. She will speak about the Work, and wait, after sending you on your way.

... Live As King

2 Can she continue with the world on her shoulders
and remember me, our sweet embrace, ecstasy?
Would I be patient, was her reply, then long time
became a way of life, a freight train running wild.
Here in the quiet within the sphere, drawn sublime
where I wait, blessing stillness for her, I live as(king.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010 rjduberg

... A Taste Divine

1  I chose to sleep in this morning, but upon arising found your reply.
And upon reading it with noon's dry heat in a full dense harangue
Begun, a day like this, yet did I find some wet do from this rhyme -
Still droplets holding on to a sphere wherein their essence shines.
A deeper reflection than even they know or witness through time
    now may the do wet the consciousness from which it sprang
    condensing on this mind like encrusted jewels, come to remind.
For this, I bow, and give thanks for the grace, with a taste divine.

COPYRIGHT © 6/2010, rjduberg

~ Fragments Dropped in Rain

In the end, there is only one need you see
value separated from trash, Self Remember
while death courts you by your crash cart
know it will be impossible for most to pass
It remains the biggest stumble how few listen
relative truth changes only to finish one's little...

© 6/2010, rjduberg

~Jobbing After Hours

Oh I look, inward, to shore
to remind the mind its time
my threats turn in a score
for the light, not the darkness
stuck in illusion I think real
afraid, I may wish to escape
but remain confined in lies.

It's right here, I sleep the most.
The dream matters all the less
if dreaming keeps us distracted
with a space made for comfort
where belief is not questioned.

I've sat long and want to feel
beyond all issues of integrity
what actually makes a source
- a balance never understood
or the fundamentals to begin
multi-dimensional streaming.

Think of conscience finally
As our special capacity to be
with the totality of our being
fragments scattered to the wind
with our work aim set to unify.
Finding we are not that, not this.

In that wide and deep, emptiness
continues the chance for answers
where nothing ever has the buzz
I'm looking beyond horizons for
I just swear by profit that's fair
so I can sup in stillness and care.

© 6/2010, rjduberg

Making the Separation

I'm finding ways to seize my awareness on separate parts of my being. The secret to it seems to be developing at least one neutral ongoing higher aim which can somehow be kept active collecting portals to fashion up the lack of integrity with the innocence of starting anew in the question over being confused on how.

I am bubbling over with disappointment over being unable to empower a response by my muse to write some poetry with new purpose. It's all about revealing quiet within subtly, and I'm not even in the ball park yet I don't think.

Word of Lord Pentland

Inwardly as I follow the questions and look for answers, there is a new alignment possible. That's always been my experience. Man, woman, and child all suffer from this essential condition in the beginning, where one's being unified is a lie and false, and illusion of our own design to hide.

I am slowly resurrecting some positive feeling for the work of the fourth way and it must be said undoubtedly Lord Pentland is the fault.

The biggest shift in understanding I have gone through recently now has to do with Self-Remembering being quite misunderstood in general, I am definitely developing a 'taste' for. The second issue which is entirely new for me has to do with my appreciation and insight into the essence of my attention. So many, fragments remain in my daily flow and beyond. Anytime, like just now when I completely lost hold of the thread of my higher consciousness while awakening, falling to sleep ... I've spent many years getting used to this idea, being open and humble in relation to it, letting go of my inhibitions regarding lustfulness.

My insights today regarding understanding being higher when expressed in the negation within the dichotomy. Thus, being aware of your lack of understanding is actually a higher form of understanding because of its transformational power fo completing the polarized circuit for its integrity.

The work now emerges as intentionally remembering myself to first and above all BALANCE the higher subtle and vital energies of my being on which I depend on my sanity.

In closing this entry, I will be refocusing my attention on poetry of at "the cage-unhitched" and I've got the next two days to quietly explore things further, thank you universe, for that!

Sending my love to Stephanie as well

Sweetheart... You bring such tears to my eyes. Today has been something of a little miracle insofar as I’m actually semi awake I guess. I’ve been down for so very long. Trying to catch up and you’re on this list and all I can do is sit here and cry. Do you know why? LOL ... They’re good, joyful tears of the best kind, but very, very wet, LOL.

The issue is romance, the subject women, the situation hopeless, ROFL. Back in the day there was you for a moment, wow. You continue to reign as one of most incredibly divine women I’ve ever been in contact heart to heart in my life. You are one of a very very very small number that I trust. And, that’s what these tears are about I guess. So smart, and so thoroughly female are you, unlike any I’ve ever known.

Like I said, today is like the first day in months I’ve had enough energy to even stay focused and awake. I hope you don’t mind my spending a few moments blubbering all over you like this, but be grateful for the sanitation of electronic communication or you would find yourself in this puddle I’m in, lol. Your advise to let it go, LOL, sometimes I forget how young you are, though your wisdom is ageless, time has done her best to restore you with some chance of success after all the loss. Which is just the way it should be as I see it because you were blessed to begin with. The rest of us are a little less karmically transparent.

See how I struggle even with the simplest and wisest of all sayings? Let it be? Are you nuts? LOL – True enough though, I think part of the reason I’m awake and quasi functional today has to do with doing exactly that, or at least focusing on other issues worth paying attention to in order not to let others suffer because of my negligence. So, thank you for reminding me of what I have been unable to accomplish most of my adult life LOL. I would expect nothing less than your beautiful and insightful honesty.

I love you Stephie. You’re one of the good guys! Actually, no, you are really a queen of divine feminine grace and beauty!  Sorry, LOL, mustn’t skimp on the props you deserve with respect.

More later of course, you can always check up on my squallor by visiting my blog called Evolution’s Ghost if you want. I’m going to put this up there right now for the record, to prove there were a couple of days in my life when I actually felt the pain of life lived and loved.

Love,
Robert

Saving a Love Letter to a Friend

A hunh ... Tingly nice! <vbs>

You are such a peach! Yeah, if I wasn’t such a loser ...

Listening to Snatam Kaur right now and trying to catch up on what... Probably at least several months of being down. But I do recall how back in the day, you were a blazing light.

All I can do is study and search for answers, still ... Nothing holds any interest for me as long as my issues romantically are not resolved. That’s going all the way back to when I was 18 and got dumped by my first true love. My entire life has been about recovering from that.

Fuck, there are so many lost people in the world. Just unconscious, with their fingers on the trigger or button, inadvertantly blowing things away that often have real potential for ascending spirit. And then, there are a few whose intelligence has shielded them from the hell of perpdom, whose fragrance is sublime and whose being drips kindness just like the best of any ripe peach you’ve ever or never had.

You love these people, you would give them the world, I’ve tried. One day maybe when I’m over myself LOL, love will reign again?  But whatever happens, there’s a spot reserved on my list of wonders and miracles experienced in this lifetime, for you (and your photographic charms <vbs>). You will always be remembered Suzie, in my heart, I celebrate you even now.

Xox,rj

Big White Bird and a Black Raven

Yesterday, upon arriving home from the golf course where I work, a black raven seemed to be conversing at me, hopping along the tops of of the buildings along the path I walk from my car to my residence. At the time, I thought it had to do with the parcel I was carrying and the black birds hunger. When I got inside I unpacked my fruity feast and didn't register that this time I had packed black napkins instead of the usual white. I remember noting the color in the bar and thinking that someone dropped the ball placing them out. Today, saw a very ominous turn of events with the complete disappearance of Big Bird. I call him that because he's probably the largest white goose in the flock which hangs around the ponds at the golf course. He is also the loudest, most obnoxious, and in a very strange way most consciously intelligent goose I've ever met. On many days in the last couple of months, he's literally hounded me throughout my day acting in ways fully contradictive to good common goose sense, persisting in his squawking and butting his beak where it could so easily be damaged if I wasn't paying close attention to his welfare. Big Bird has a posse of several more geese and a couple of ducks which accompany him as a group making this group a two set group, Big Bird and the posse. They don't travel together but they are never far away from each other.

Big Bird has a sponsor at the golf course, one of the old geezers, and quite the king of obnoxiousness himself. I think Ray actually feels a rare affinity for the Big Bird's raucous behavior because it so closely characterizes his own nonending squawking quips which are pretensious and boisterous attempts at making put downs of the worst negative kind of sarcasm you might hopefully never encounter. Once you see through the surface layer of his personality however, the game is on to see how hard you can piss on his game while he seems all to content to simply keep a steady salvo for you (me) to deal with.

Given my understanding of Ray and the harmonies involved it doesn't surprise me that Big Bird desired more intimate contact with me. Who knows how to speak Geese or goose or geek even? With the volume of utterings coming from the Big Bird though you'd think he was organizing a plan to take over the whole fowl kingdom right here in Chula Vista's Municipal Golf Course.

While I was at work today, another one of Big Bird's biggest allies, an Ambassador named Jimmie, stopped me and informed me Big Bird was MIA. As we ruminated over the possibilities the day took on a rather forlorn hue as well. On the way home, I continued to think about Big Bird. Then, as I stopped my car at my residence near the water in Imperial Beach, I remembered the signs from the day before. Could it be?

The symbology caught my breath at that moment, and hours later, continues to try well enough to keep me hovering in a zone of pre-sadness. Thankfully, I have a couple of co-workers who have cultivated something of an unbending optimism in situations like this who I managed to draw into the conversation before I left. Their consensus is that he will pop up very soon FOR SURE! For now I am doing my best simply to remember their POV and be patient at least for today, and take tomorrow when she comes.

Love Flipped a Flop

Once again a woman draws me out and flirts enough to earn some trust and then becomes overwhelmed by my wildness and gets weirder and weirder before simply dropping out.

I feel like such an idiot. More like a sinking ship's captain discovering it was another female jumping ship after making a few choice holes beyond repair. And, while this time I feel I was spared to some degree, the girl represented something important regarding what my entire life has been about, a research for, ongoingly and spiritually. She had traveled there where I wanted to go, and I felt I knew her so well.

Helping her write her story was such a key step as well. And then, we got off on her 'gate to heaven,' a guy named Dwarka with whom she says Christ consciousness became present in a moment of orgasmic bliss. Fantastic eh? How beautiful is she I thought to myself and still do? But her issues with Dwarka really seem to implode on her somehow although she is not talking. I have traced the breakdown and today's final notice to his arrival in our conversation. It was hard NOT to miss. After that point her attitude was more and more resistant and argumentative, increasing intensity and its insanity almost daily.

And in the recent days it got so severe that anything I said became too much for her to bare. As a result of not being able to influence me intellectually or emotionally, she appears to have simply withdrawn from her commitments with me. At any rate, she's got that right, and I honored it with as much simplicity as she offered it. She never reached very far after all, in her efforts to touch my heart. This probably more than anything I regret not having been more successful with, especially with her. And now, with her withdrawl, staring me in the face here via email it feels like the longest minor earthquake, shaking my body from the soles of my feet up. Nothing moving but my nauseated sense of it all.

What do you say to a mature woman who simply flipped on you making you some kind of persona non gratus? It's such a shame not to have been able  to really trust her and not be simply abandoned like this. For awhile though it was tremendous fun.

This pretty much ends it for me. I expect she'll never contact me again. And have no idea what I would say if she did. Right now I have time to kill, the Suns at 7pm vs San Antonio, reading over the weekend. Letting go is easily one of the hardest things for us to do.

White Flag, by Dido, is playing and made a perfectly timed entrance for a new expression of synchronicity, at least in their support emotionally. This last incident of having a woman informally boot me or dump me to the curb over my entangling her with my words ... I mean how interesting is that? My sense was that the difficulty between her and I was always about what my words meant and perhaps her never honestly synching up to them and the meaning I was bringing forth.

There is and was no mistaking how my words were philosophical and contempative. My intellectualizations have never been accepted entirely by anybody. It had been ~15 years since my last romantic engagement with Paula, and I think I need to 'dig deeper' to create the credibility needed to write this complicated jaunt of mine. I was really leaning heavingly on this writing project of hers today, looking forward to coming home and cracking it open, but instead found her drop kick of my being to the curb, the other choice made and the feeling is quintessentially fucked.

When people make this move where they pick up their marbles and leave... Can anything be worse? Even with Paula, who was literally trying to kill me at certain times when she 'broke,' putting her on a bus back to Kansas signified and end to any more heroic efforts to fix her or us. I know that that a level of heroism crept into the way I related to her and it wouldn't surpise me if at some point she didn't herself coming to the same realization this and simply resisting it because that is the femininist appropriate response of independence and disinterest in men's will to provide and protect, UNLESS OF COURSE it follows her plan or idea of what she needs and wants.

We battled at that level for a awhile i guess, and this failure is met with some degree of relief. This blog on it is just my way of decompressing I guess and looking more deeply at the elements of mine, at least, which were culpable so I can continue to get through this mine field that has grown up between myself and the coast and a darling goddess I know.

Alrighty then, said the incredibly funny and off the charts funny man, and speaking between us he says, 'Will you ever get things right and make sacred spiritual love with a goddess like Renee?  I only refer to Renee because being my first lover, she was also by far a more beautiful and powerful Tantric lover than anyone I've ever met seemed to be perhaps.

And, the work on injaculating continues, though now I have no one close to me personally to ask anymore. This capacity of hers to turn me out the way she did, wow, I will have to say that it is precisely the worst quality and nothing but the ugliest kind of behavior given love's ultimate promise and our deepest need. Wow, I see the sadness now, just bridging the horizon of my interior here. Guess I'll step in and drink of this ... Namaste, rj

I couldn't help myself from thinking of her one last time tonight and her attraction to OSHO led me to scan some of his quotes, which I then found one matching her mention of its title and thought I brought the title with me. If I know where I could call myself to ask but regardless I wanted to share the small poem I found of Osho's while kickin it naturally...

Know what you are at present
 and then know its credibility or its lack of credibility.
It is what knows that
 that is, in you, most credible.
   - Barry Long, Tantric Master


~Love Flipped a Flop
I've been judged by her love, no longer smiling.
Could there be any thing worse in life than this?
Nothing I have ever done has thwarted the hissy.
Even rational transformation and all the benefits
do not make up the difference, at Point Heinous.
Can't really blame myself too much even now
Nothing comes close to the flipping she flopped,
and how it turned my entire world upsidedown.
Just like that, a 10.0 quake of heart and soul.
Shock trembles for hours. Calling all my 911s.

   - 5/6/2010, rjd

Boston Insight

I’m quite shocked by my sister’s invitation to help me move near her in Boston. She’s not kidding, and it concerns me a little, whether this invitation is really out of consideration for me or whether it serves some hidden personal need. I have always been and felt like her hero protector, defending her to her and the world whenever circumstances or will of opposition appeared to conspire against her. From all accounts, nothing has really changed in her life, or she’s not speaking up about it. This latest invitation does “up the ante” a little bit, yet how huge is a move like that? If it’s just a good idea on her end, I could wind up so far away from any comfort zone and with my various medical issues that’s more than just a small bit of concern. I’ve been living at my current residence with roommates John and Matt, now for almost 5 years. We have a strong and reliable unity which allows for complete independence as well. It’s easily one of the best living situations I’ve ever established in life, and abandoning this would seems foolish unless I was unable to maintain it for some reason. But Boston! Think of opportunity for new adventure, exploring the roots of America, culturally, historically, politically, etc.  In some ways, life here has stalled for me for quite some time, particularly professionally and romantically. Reviving myself in a new market like Boston would be like being reborn in a higher plane of existence.

I realize this is all imagination and the truth could simply be that I drag whatever conditions source what is manifesting in my life along with me to Boston, not doing them (Bostonians) any favors as well, right? If you’re following this line of reason there is a really subtle and powerful insight to be made regarding conscious transformation this illustrates well having to do with HOW to create the proper attitude in order to “usher in” transformation in terms of making a necessary change within instead of trying to do it from the outside in (which is how our linear minds conceive the process of purposeful change... Have, Do, Be vs Be, Do, Have). The logic of reason which blames circumstances for our satisfaction in life is overwhelmingly tempting because its precisely how we recall events and how they relate to one another. What is unseen, invisible, and revealed by quantum mechanics theoretically is that context both transcends and determines manifestation and how manifestation unfolds by virtue of being the “space” in which manifestation is expressed.

This wisdom is nothing new of course and goes all the way back to the Buddhist view of life as being essentially empty and meaningless in truth. Nothing exists except that we say that it does of course, and the reality of this is that speech as a fact is not the point but rather it’s expression of subjectivity, expressly human, and its calling influence in real terms of manifesting vibrational attraction and influence via the quantum realities which transcend time and space - makes it relevant for how it structures subjectivity in reality. So, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but more than that is the divinity of infinite diversity and embodied spirit in unique and original instances of existence and being. This is the ultimate expression of beauty of course, where the source and unity of spirit (the source of all that eternally exists) intersects and is expressed in the essence of human  individuality. The magic of humanity is how it sits at the zenith or pinnacle of this possibility, having the greatest and most powerfully expansive capacity and manifestation of this intersection. Humanity actually represents an evolution to this cosmological beauty by introducing conscious will, or the capacity for individuality to DIRECT, SOURCE, and otherwise make this intersection’s expression intrinsic to their being and
 an EVOLVING RELEVANCE also known as TEACHING, but factually a conscious transmission of evolution leap frogging material processes via spiritual dimensions which are non-physical and transcendent.

Excuse me for going off on a rant like that but whenever I happen upon an opportunity to view from such a high vista in moments when the sky is clear the ecstatic nature of that view never seems to fail in tempting me <vbs>.

There is teaching and then there is TEACHING which is spiritual evolution and only heard by those making a conscious effort to hear. The words have a transcendental ‘flow’ to them which to some degree always challenges and defeats the dualistic linearity of the rational mind, introducing a kind of internal and hidden message at precisely that place as well only the conscious effort to be present, allowing the soul direct contact in the moment, can understand and benefit from. This benefit is the TEACHING which has the single aim of promoting the individual’s conscious spiritual evolution and even more their value of their individual capacity to evolve themselves from within.

OK...so what is the relevance of all this to Boston you ask? Seeing Boston in terms of representing an opportunity to revive my life in certain dimensions is only valid insofar as I consciously contribute a new choice of purpose which is an open contribution when I get there. If going there to GET something is the active context in my experience, I will get what I already have, and my very presence will turn Boston into another Imperial Beach which I assure you has many positives, but certain absences which I have noted LOL. That’s called the baggage, which you hear referred to time and time again in pop psychology. Anyway, whew, that was an exciting little write just now, which I hope wasn’t too long and didn’t get too far out of hand. I know your heart well enough to know that you are one of the few that is listening and evolving or I wouldn’t have been so crass to waste your time with my mutterings. But, given who you are, I just know that being on that path and hearing the spirit teach through another is always a divinely rare moment in time, too few for me to be sure.

The move to Boston needs a little more convergence of support at this point for it to happen I think. That’s an important point I recall I wanted to make having to do with the exception to the case regarding baggage. Karma and the roll of that wheel takes place on a scale of time spanning lifetimes, such that when people talk about having lived multiple lifetimes in this incarnation what they’re talking about distinct from transformation is the roll of karma. It may simply be a transitional period of karma emerging and without doing any inner work my karmic evolution is rolling into a new period so that arriving in Boston may also be a natural and UNCONSCIOUS change in my natural being as a contribution. Anything is possible in this sense, paupers have become kings, throughout time immemorial – all having nothing to do with conscious evolution and transformation.

I should add that larger karmic issues do not judge virtue in their mechanisms of balance, that principle determining a denser play of reality. Just as many kings have lost their heads without any reason or cause on their part simply to satisfy this ongoing energetic correction in the universal unfolding manifestation of mind and matter, as well.

At any rate, my promise of HOW might have been a slight exaggeration regarding the insight. I probably should have said WHAT to be more accurate regarding the insight and its relevance to making conscious change in one’s life.

I’ll keep writing, and at some point with your permission will organize and read through the ‘chapters’ I have received by you. Then, if you still want I will send my notes on ways you might consider improving what you have of course, if they impress you of being positive changes, for sure.

... Ushered In

Your squatting ephemera gave a pause to my dullard day
to think, on your mash of natural expressions with animus
in linguistic ploy of host, whistling afterall, the forgotten.
But, there sitting for bliss' balliwick now, the joyous clarity
found to the delight by and in a made void ... ushered in.

5/1/2010, rjd

You wrote ... "I don't mean it as just an awake/aware state- but as "known or felt by one's inner self" and also... "It’s important to realize that consciousness is NOT a state. It sometimes gets confused for people and I’m not sure if its because they haven’t yet integrated the true definition of consciousness into their general world view. Is this because there are multiple levels of consciousness for man? For man, HIS LEVEL or where and how he contacts Consciousness as it is (defined in its essence as the source of Unity behind all Diversity). This CONTACT gives us the value consciousness has for our lives and being. Our value is for the Field we’re able to find touch and its expressing the Unity in the Diversity. Nothing more can be said about consciousness in words per se that makes anything clearer than this. Why? Consciousness is NOT finite nor does it have a beginning or end. States do, beyond our limited subjective STATE or LEVEL of CONTACT, they exist as an abstract idea we made up to bridge our spiritual limits of DARKNESS or SHADOW with the infinite nature of Consciousness’ essence.

So, at present it looks as if you’re suffering under two layers of error and falsity regarding principles concerning abstract qualities of existence. Consciousness is NOT a state, its essence being Infinite Unity and understood as the field in which awareness expresses the physical plane of existence within certain very small ranges of perceptual dimension and the outer reaches of frequency range our biology presents. The awareness itself is a minimal intersecting vortex across dimensions of connected wave patterns that taken together and filtered (no filter returns happen with or without and active engagement of the mind) these patterns are perceived in the foreground of our awareness in total. Our total awareness fluctuates but can be trained to cover the entire field we’re able to access consciously. It’s important to remember however that awareness is merely the quantum counterpart to particle state, the wave keeping an analog function in our brains which automatically serves up reality in a predictable reliable fashion which in sane individuals reflects their intangible and metaphysical cogitations which act together to provide an evolving organizational form that modulates space and time, attaches links ranks, and ultimately determines what can harmoniously be added/changed for evolving liberty.

If that didn’t succeed in making you think twice, the second layer is a massive puff of smoke that mirrors something like the beyond. However, the vagueness of terms used creates a quagmire here. To know is to LINK and all links fall inside the paradigm of mind, which is a gestalt of things, which function but in and of themselves have no self awareness. To link awareness to self is a huge unnecessary complication which tries to combine that which finite with that which in truth isn’t. I’ve already referred to that unique relationship in noting the common term for it being the Veil. ‘Felt’ on the same level with different modality of perception and energy frequency used.

I guess it’s important to answer why I’ve made such a fuss. The reason is that without shining a light on the wiggle room which our usual expressions more and more often seem to let creep in, one is in truth forced to make assumptions. If others become negative over the effort or lack of therein over not keeping up. Don’t reply, refute, defend, or argue the point. Any responses I receive can only benefit me if only educate me. There’s nothing I can do to teach anyone the PROPER and RELATIVE meanings that preserve truth as much as possible. One develops a burning desire and cannot help but sympathize and understand OR choose to accept a status quo which marks boundaries around unconsciousness. The unacknowledged disaster about that is dispelling or lifting oneself out from under shadow karma becomes impossible by default of one’s own boundaries now existing. To transform and liberate requires the abiding of liberty in a descending to within. Liberty does NOT overcome, LOL. Liberty is simply a very intrinsic possibility which happens when the door is open. One cannot talk about IT as Liberty as such because it exists as a meta –characteristic responsible for transformation. That term and idea is a perfect balance of the Destruction which Creates or the Cruelty which is Nice.

The joke I love about it my Brother first said in my memory during a MX tour down a few hundred miles to the dentral Mexican continent to a place called Mike’s Sky Ranch. We stopped to chat with a couple of riders we encountered at one point and one of them asked directions however my brother took the request as some kind of jab of humor and answered, “You can’t get there from here!”

Just in closing ... There is no application of consciousness. That field allows for Infinite diversity eternally. The question then what does focus and dichotomize our awareness into unique and personal subjectivity? The beauty you are so passionate about regarding the relationship between physics and the resonation and harmony with a vague but subjective understanding you have between thoughts and matter, suggesting a powerful verification at play AND HERE YOU LOSE ME which is ALSO spiritual I admit I do not understand. Most of all how or why you introduce spirituality in this discussion with NO reason or and offered that connect that paradigm seems PRETTY LAZY. Perhaps its simply due to my own mother being the queen of laziness which has provided me with a certain sharpness on how I go after WOMEN in my life. Haha ... Men are just too dump and ADD programmed. I’m not just messing with you though, your assertion regarding spirituality having any relevance or connection to what we’ve been talking about is a fundamental fact about how we deny ourselves the power of balanced processes of apperception. Think of vertigo for the mind. Ask yourself now how Spirituality is best verified from your zen mind,

The only answer I recommend is the mystical one. Any answer coming from a level lower than mystical will only restrict and limit your capacity to have fun freely with liberty.

On Huna, one at a time ...

1) The World is What You Think it is
What you think is The World is part of and our personal interpretive link to the world. All thoughts are recursive and able to transcend as well. Despite the essence of human language providing us an expression generating computation, the self-referencing algebraic branch where we represent infinity and zero, fitted and designed to go the distance are nothing but illusory tokens we use and forget we mean absolutely nothing when speaking such language as such. The world we can think about does not contain the world we can’t. That’s everything that exists which we don’t know anything about, plus the stuff we don’t know we don’t know anything about. A less rigorous approach here however confirms that YES the way we think of the world is the way we think of it, defining Ontology or the natural structure of truth stated. This principle however depends on the reader getting what is not being said as the Object relationshiph between World in first position is twisted into the second position which IT references UNSUCCESSFULLY back to the first. Here’s the proof...

I think the world is the full order of chaos expressed diversely in essence and its representations and expressions. The existence of echoes which are oscillating progressive fade outs of rare but powerful refractions of significance is neither orderly or chaotic as such but both. Like 0 and 00 at the roulette table, the world has a cosmic crack in it. For most however the statement applies without disturbance.

2) There Are No Limits
Once again this makes sense only from a nonpragmatic perspective. Profoundly involved in every thought we have and its power to ACT is the limit of its foundation.


3) Energy Flows Where Attention goes
This is more specious reason, more precisely pure redundancy providing yet another false insight revealing nothing, capable of confusing the unprepared or at least distracted. Attention is energy flow in a certain direction which we call at times where attention goes. If you think it meant ALL ENERGY, nope. Then what about SOME energy, well we’ve already made that redundantly clear haven’t we, still the question remains about what other possibilities may exist and for what kinds and types of energy. Not all energy is benevolent or well received, wanted or desired, eh?


4) NOW Is the Moment of Power
Not too much to find at fault with this only because the idea given as Moment of Power here has none of its own. NOW is NOW, ontological and reliably so, there it is now, there it is again, same now. What can a notion called Moment of Power add to our appreciation and value for NOW? Nothing. I am wholeheartedly against this kind of crap as unevolved positive thinking. I prefer the deeper and more complex sense of Power as a kind of personal toolbar linked to my accounting skill preferences. The moment of power in my world might best be expressed as a summary statement of the status of my balance sheet.

5) To Love Is To Be Happy With
Just depends on your definition of happy I guess. I’m sure there are some people who are literally unable to consider happiness as a function of relationship and vice versa. For some who fall in love expressions like this begin to shine however given the usual limit even love has for us, that ends, and thus we have yet another stalemate either present or on its way. Now, if you’re going to say these very same people don’t Love, you’re going to set yourself for a brutal contest, I think <Vbs>.

6) All Power Comes From Within
More positive thinking aggrandizement is further redundant and means nothing to characterize as POWER in any principled categorical way since the aggrandizement itself is called in more or less power.
Diverse redundancy expressed in a group like this reflects something deeper about where this author is coming from. I can think of one word summarizing it ... LOL ... Spun.

7) Effectiveness Is the Measure of Truth
Once again he expresses yet another twisted redundancy. Effectiveness is redundantly itself not THE but A measure of truth. To measure truth is to be effective. The manner of expression here implies principle which cannot be right. For THE MEASURE OF TRUTH does not exist and cannot possibly show up. To measure is to comprehend and grasp by some perspective or limiting view which is relevant and meaningful somehow, it is ONLY effective as far as the measurer’s grip is solid and the meaning has important value. Otherwise all such measures won’t possibly be effective ACTS by those performing them, right?