Healing Code

AT some point there is always a call for putting one's records of the past back together in order and well stacked.  Here is a call to an issue I have for health while I deal with ESRF. Been on dialysis for a year now. Been on a waiting list for 180 days. The road to getting a transplant done is not clearcut or simple by any stretch of the imagination. For the last 3 years I've pretty much been dominated by the wild fires in this domain of my life. But I'm finding some breathing room now and my intellectual insight and understanding is beginning to reflect some expansion and evolution.

I've got to give credit to friends in my life that matter: Stephanie, Colleen, Mom, John, Billy, Evelyn, Heidi, Trayvon, as well as my sister.


Integrity

Integrity is the shining star
blazing a path for the spiritual
to fix and maintain the joy
it is our higher self we call
May yours come to mind
so that recognition plays
front and center today
there's no time to waste.


Fighting exhaustion is not good when trying to ascend and evolve, whatever ...

Here is the repository of a new and quite significant change in my ontology. The subjectivity is still there. More than anything today was a moment when consciously relaxing that I was suddenly in the presence of an ex-girlfriend named Stephanie. And I suddenly recognized what it was about her that was so valuable to me at certain moments of vulnerability. She's got the best mom vibe I've ever witnessed.

Thanks Steph..xoxo

Some reflective composing...

Appearing arbitrary are these bounds
coming in and out of a veiled backstage
in streaming movements weaving
chaos out of order and order out of chaos.

What other possible purpose could apply
comprehending the relativity of the present
squeezing the entire flow down to a drop
and then we quench our thirst from that?

It's never enough, and how could it be?
as we try and drink our fill from a dream
while the raging torrent of the stream is
all around us, ourselves, lush fluidness.

The drip drop little squeeze was hard work
and who in their right mind can fathom
how the reverse allows for the gush of us
We're clearly machines at our core.

Nothing to build in the radiance sought
But the cost is our ability to tolerate
a friction and discomfort as we cogitate
learning how so much of life is mechanical.

The beginning is always short and small
A process that grows and grows wetter now
cooling and extinguishing the fires of hell
we replace ignorance with visions of reality.

rj

Noise in the First

The noise has to always hiss
during the greatest peak here
of changing the changing ray
where nashing grinds IT to dust.

My engine racing, wind bracing
speed blazing ... a synchronized
inside concert hall constrains
our vibrations moving infinitely.

The divine source, muse sings
a sound that lifts my heavy heart.
I am surrounded by nothing big now...
except a noisey crowd at the curve.

I expect another Goddess to know
a Crash Surprise from nowhere
on a day of days smelling of bliss
her lovely music, blessing, and grace.

1/2016 rjduberg

These Times Reached

Daily reductions, so annoying, a brutal evil it seems
lay down all your arms, and witness how little
your world pays attention to what matters, no reach
this is an insideous defeat notwithstanding irony
Shadows by ego, value to conform, entropy.  

Dig in then ... poetry asks too much I say.
In good with a serious muse, and writing love
in so many urgent and different musical ways.
Arising in a Great Symballic Crash
and a war against war, echo of irony.

These times and their overall rush is good reminisce.
while these times are specifically different
The remedy of language is in a long focus
balanced with a short one, makes us an ascendency.
Through language this portal reigns in higher consciousness.

The real entryway is hidden behind an understanding.
It isn't enough to know something or even know of it.
Yet, without such linguistic referents we're also reduced.
One begets the other, as understanding follows, so distinct.
Romantic blossoms here, tho' most fall in and down, sadly.

So easy for most not to even get this far, part of the Construct.
One success will bring a desire to make homage to "God".
This pink cloud is a spiritual distraction, highly addicting
And really of no use without extracting the higher lesson.
Never quit, never stop, know thyself - by your reach, ascend.

© 2/2014 rjduberg