Monday, October 16, 2017

Catching Hell Online II

Due to utterly insufficient outlining tools provided by Blogspot... I won't  .providing any content here today

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Working Out the Details

Working out the Details

I have now come to realization that a valuable story is one told by a one in a million narrators who shows others a mirror that brightens and does not dim.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 - Bob Dillon lyrical excerpt

My rage has caused far too much chaos between me and life in general. I will say that a better state to be in involves asking questions about life. How many times have I become intimate with alot of women just in order to ask questions of them they would never have thought of and I had fun sharing with them. Sometimes they had challenges and questions which surprised and astonished me. I don't feel that sexual fire like I used to although I am the same person, there's no doubt of that. As I work out the details to my senior days and where romance fits in with them, I'm still working out the dertails.

Writing a Book 

I have always considered writing a sellable story, one exciting to read, one with both dark and light in it, something with the kind of obvious radically extreme risk you find trending all over the internet. I am currently collaborating with a friend on her story, one that touches the heart and opens up a new reality that you really can’t understand except to see it in action.  Finally, I feel one story worth telling is one that gives me insight on not only what the most relevant questions are but the reason why.  

Put together a History.

Tell the truth whatever the consequence for awhile

Work out the Details.

Keep your tools sharp and in use.

What matters most?

What works and what does not?

So, endeth a spontaneous whirling rift on what I’ve been musing on about lately. Preludes to writing something out in detail, look like this.

Catching Hell Online

My position is that nothing beats the dynamic sexual tension which arises naturally in within the body so the action becomes desirable like and feels like one palette when hungry. There is great positive anticipation which feels so blissful that we begin to be more present to ourselves taking pleasure and not just the pain from our experience of life.  Except that we make others our audience, we will never know the joy associated with getting out oancf the way so that others can see the details to your message or what works.  That is worth giving don’t you think.  So how would you articulate your own particular value desired in words you write?  I will recapitulate my online romantic series elsewhere probably not, but I suppose the game is all the same at heart. At my ancient age of 59 on the 25th…romance hasn’t been all that I had hoped and wished and mostly due to my own mistakes.  I mean my reach found me  next to very powerful and interesting women. My feeling is that I just never felt like using them was right. My thought was that the moment I did something like that thereby corrupting the art of love into manipulation and there are worse ways to destroy love and they all amount to betrayal, hard cold sexual betrayal is one of the worse by far.  

Then there is the whole degradation we suffer by the free porn industry, but I digress.

In any story written, there has to be clear value in just the manner and how it is written and not just what is being written about. So what’s the story I want to share with you and just how do I plan to do it like I’ve never done it before.  A good novel ought to provide an inspiring view and story with enough detail so that the reader can put it together for themselves. Let new ideas be possibilities you suggest worth considering.  My ideas are on how to rage against the dying of the light, this my current issue now 5 years into a state of end stage renal failure. I just don’t want my life to be how little medicine has offered me in the way of healing. More than when my Father became ill with this disease for sure, yet still having a level of influence I simply cannot avoid.  People try being positive and some of them are actually quite beautful too. j

So develop a habit, be prepared, awake, alert and let’s see what happens.

Next: Get a grip on visuals, graphics, drawings, cartoons, photography, photoshop, design, web design, development, ... have fun though.

Thursday, September 07, 2017

Where Fools Rush In, Case against God Revisited

Nothing it seems is more persuasive or compelling than somebody preaching a "truth" which they have devoted their entire being to, even sacrificed their savings to, all in faith. Its that possibility in our listening that I find fascinating, but unfortunately or not immune to as well, lol. By dismissing God as fictional and irrelevant, I also get to bypass the satanic series as well. This leaves me with a lot of responsibility as to knowing whatever I do accomplish is exactly what I will get. Part of that work is an every increasing and expanding consciousness of my self as aligned with the Universe/Everything. And by that, I can command nature, and produce miracles like sudden spontaneous synchronicity which is all a mere function of my asking the wile mysterious chaos in me to respond.

And, there's a lot happening ... It's pure arrogance to think one knows or has the capacity to know "God." Then there's the whole "in his image" schtick which is another degree of arrogance, but from the context of inspiring connection building, nothing beats faith for bringing people together to love one another. I can't and won't argue against that. I just think its time we take the blinders off and wake up to our own innate capacity to achieve the same others do in faith, only free and empowered towards a future of our own making. Holding on to your faith means you'll continue constrained under the entire narrative's vision and teaching. By now, you've got to see the inherent confict which that involves, a struggle no longer constructive and clearly no longer appropriate.

Sunday, July 02, 2017

~ Feeling the Falling

A poem seems such a little effort in contrast feels good enough huh?

Feeling the Falling

Is predatory flight
to polarity
    a prayer
mostly prey
    just falling kind    
    Rare exceptions make angels
A compassionate feature hidden
    by only a few degrees of velocity
    they lift consciously to fly
    where words heart felt
Whisper possibilities within
    to a wind that ascends
    falling turns this chime 
         into reeds sublime
         a wind swept mind

Judging the irony - oh what the hell
    every close inspection
    reveals truth spoken to power
    relevant for unspoken and kind
In another, that looks chaotic
    works in progress 
    require a little more
        patient understanding with love
        scrutinize the party
            if you please

© 7/2/2017 rjduberg



Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Finding a Faith not Easy

 Dante Gabriel Rossetti

If one is pressed hard, 
it is so that one may find faith and become free. 
Our pasts are full of weak places, evasions, dishonesties, 
that we thought were buried and forgotten. 
But they have to come out. Sometimes it is very bitter. 
Now with this strong influence that is shining on us, 
all the flaws are appearing. Nothing can be hidden any more. 
Because everything has to be firm and solid under our work. 
So when we are hard-pressed, 
struggling with the consequences of the past, 
it is really proof that our work is strong and right. 
It means that we are being given a chance to go faster. 
If all the consequences of the past come to the surface 
it is so that we may face them 
and become free of them once and for all. 
And under great pressure 
one may find a faith one would never need at ease. 

~Rodney Collin 
The Theory of Conscious Harmony


Can you stand in the fire and take the heat?

Sustainable design can be defined as appropriate participation in natural process; and appropriateness should be judged by the extent to which a certain design maintains the overall dynamic stability, resilience, flexibility, adaptability, or health of the system as a whole.  - Dr. Daniel Christian Wahl,

Quantum Computing - Building a machine like us…
- Machine feels like an alter to a deity.
- 2 mutually exclusive states at the same time available in quantum computing
- Cubits a point of nexus where two parallel universes connect
- Moore’s law, every year the number of cubits doubles
- increase of speed is beyond belief, orders of magnitudes.

Predictions - 3  - dangerous
- silicone valley unease regarding technological advancements.  Our talent is to immersed in building crap, stuff that is not important.
- 1st:  Within 5 years NASA will find Earth II, one of the QC machines will bear used to get there
- 2nd:  Gravitational Lensing
- 3rd: Humanity is on the cusp of the most important technological revolution to occur, the point where the machines will out pace us in every respect. (15 years)

Having a Happy Connected Life
- prevents addiction
- addiction is an adaptation to your environment
- Having purpose, bonds, relationsbips extends prevention
- The opposite of addiction is connection

"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." - by Soren Kierkegaard

Monday, May 08, 2017

A Better Perspective on Anger ~ DRAFT

Easily the best perspective to begin working on Anger. The way I see it ... until we come to a place inside where I choose whether I'm angry or not and enthusiastically enjoy that choice; in the meantime, I have found by not expressing it but rather re-channeling it into a positive and productive form is key. In order to tilt that playing field in my direction, I remind myself at every opportunity that my best performances include a significant percentage in which I was angry and found a way to use that level of energy to achieve something positive. Those possibilities are limited without a doubt, but isn't that the point? Maybe by doing this prelim step, there will be things you didn't notice before and which are far more important to you?

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Mental Illness Symptoms our President might have...

Certainly, those alleged symptoms could make sense as something else looking from another world view right? What does his ability to gaslight the media on a daily basis mean anyway. And, I'm still waiting for our nation's legal ethics eagles to rally themselves and impeach.

Something else to consider is the numerous reports of Trump in private setting and how the change of countenance which overtakes him is profoundly different and not narcissistic they say, hmmm? And ... I am also a devil's advocate, and think Trump is mentally ill as well, despite what I just said above.

He destroyed a third of our federal govt in less than 100 days. He's done more damage to the federal govt than any other individual has ever or ever could do. And, really, all we can do is breathe in deep, exhale calm waves back to the flux and open ourselves to the lesson being taught. What is that you might say? I don't know exactly. Give me some time, but for the moment there is present a stellar view into the a major imperfection in democracy, one that seems only to be growing larger. Will rational men still in power rally together and investigate the truth as well as punish anything treasonous they find.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Taking Pause for a Self-Reflective Sharing Update

What is the heart of empathic response, the ability to walk in another person's shoes, to appreciate their perspective, world view, conditioning, habits, linguistic development, their intellectual depth and critical reason, not ot mention all the pathologies of life, the trauma, child wounds, etc., etc., all these things weave together to form a veil we call life. The weave forms around a principle we call relativity. Now the question seems to me to be on what gradients can relative truth aka life according and occuring to the individual be understood on a vertical axis as both higher and better.

For me, this possibility shows up as a function of consciousness, and to Art's credit regarding liberating ourselves from unconscious weaves we've picked up since birth, slipping those chains through an act of consciousness, I have found supports an expanding consciousness which in turn provides a far greater space for one's perspective to unfold. The first principle of consciousness then, would be a work in progress that could be characterized as a process of unfolding. Nothing is static and yet we are only beginning to recognize the difficulty our language has in communicating this element of truth, but in that struggle our consciousness ascends/increases in power and in its overall appreciation those perspectives which we still contain remaining in the shadowy corners of our minds, but when triggered often create much discord and conflict due to not yet being given a thorough examination for whether they are for instance old school flatland legacies with a closeminded self-righteousness or they have begun to transform into progressive evolving increasingly encompassing and embodied IDEAS which we come to experience as sensations and not just the static conceptual language by which our psychologies associate to.

To this end for instance, my preference for my own wiggle room within my own perspectives is at once an unfolding humility which transcends my ego in a conscious embrace of the mysterious and ineffable. So it is, that I offer my perpectives not as inviolate fortifications, but my own conscious work that I am prepared at any moment to let go of, for love's sake, if presented with another perspective more consonant with my intuitive insights and yet not limited to needing such inspiration to change.

There remains to some extent a need to bring others up to greater heights in the possibilities surrounding them if only because I have crossed certain thresholds in which communication with another forms something of an anchor for and empowerment as well for my choice of perspective. My experience has been that it is far more satisfying to share a perspective (always in progress) in which harmony, and far deeper dimensions of love are accessible. Such perspectives though require a mutality of commitment and devoted reverence to properly gain the kind of relief one might imagine.

The conclusion here remains though that everyone is right from their own particular point of view, given a sufficient critical facility of reason and unobstructed unoppressed relations in the world. The differences that can be made are all varying degrees of distinct perspectives one might find consistently and coherently mapped out on say a Wilberian AQAL model.

Thanks for listening dudes/dudettes

Monday, January 09, 2017

In a mountainous retreat of sensitive insight

I once thought long ago while on a retreat that I was feeling the Earth's spin as a warmth of friction wherever gravity brought me in contact with her ground. It's a ultra subtle feeling of being thrown and miraculously barely holding on, LOL, just sittin here quiet, LOL

Meryl Streep's heart break over Pres Elect Buffoon

I actually felt a little vindicated by her admonitions regarding where "the press" has not served the people's need for objective fact checking and holding our leaders accountable for what they say and do. I've been talking about this starting last summer as I began to witness Trump's spectre rise in power with his potent smoke and mirrors display calling out to the disenfranchised with such a twisted pitch to both fool them and yet convince them they're finally being defended by their own champion and Trumps constituency want's blood. I have only compassion for them, but the press is a different matter.

A lot can also be said for the influence of the social media which is not only out of control but lacking as well in any discipline which keeps the way clear so that evolution of man continues unabated.

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Request from TNM for help, comment on modern expression of being single ....

Anyone having or better yet (had, past tense) trouble asking for help. And, I mean for even the smallest pettiest needs, that my ESRF is constantly pulling me away from. I would really appreciate it if there are any clean methods (vs consumeristic versions with their shiny packaging, meaning nothing substantive) for dealing inwardly with one's self about this impossible condition I"ve habituated myself to my entire life?

I saw an ad here the other day for a workshop on learning how to sell and teach what one's current lifestyle is, in a word monetizing one's recordable wake through life. I basically threw up in my mouth almost ... insanity.

A new update to my lexicon of common parlance in thish day an age ... being single is now being referred to as ethically non-monogamous. The illusion of separation is officially coming off my collective experience in life with others. Look to Karyn Amore for this inspired self-expression which is just the beginning to her beauity and grace, intelligence and wisdom. Celebrate her message and its skyrocketing frequency. Cheers, rj