Evolution's Ghost

There! Eternity is there! All around! Do you know that you can extend yourself forever in any of the directions I have pointed to? Do you know that one moment can be eternity? This is not a riddle; it's a fact, but only if you mount that moment and use it to take the totality of yourself forever in any direction. – don Juan Matus

My Greatest Lie

Humility and surrender, my kneeling being of will
has not stopped the wrongness I feel in my heart.
I pretend, itself absent, for the sake of my sanity.
I don’t know why or how to speak the truth here
of an essential loss felt in the aftermath of loving.
Each day, more painful as the memory is distant.

Here and there, I imagine and propose solutions.
Pyschological babble was never more realized.
Means to possibilities misunderstood for the end.
Am I obsessed with ghosts I loved, holding tight
not letting go, I think this angle will end the best.
Like religion, if you don’t get it, blame a mystery.

But like religion, such possibilities once believed
haunt the experience in its best state with hope.
I am only learning as I waste my life in the pain.
Only by stopping the belief will I gain freedom.
Yet, it is the thing I believe more than life itself.
You are and have always been my greatest lie.

© 8/31/2004, RJDuberg